|
I am 37 and have been overweight my entire life. I have always considered myself "not that big" however, it wasn't until 4 months ago that I really looked at myself in the mirror and was totally disgusted at the reflection I saw. I have never felt fat, but now I "feel fat" and its disgusting to me so I can imagine what I must look like to others and until my recent reality check I didn't care. I cried for 2 hours and thought to myself, after I've tried possibly every diet known to man and lost weight, but always gained it back often most times with more than I originally started. I decided 4 months ago that this wasn't a battle I was going to win with yo-yo diets and exercise, so I finally got up enough courage to admit that I needed professional help and I believe this surgery would really help me with a problem I've had to deal with since childhood. I just spoke with my PCP on 7-14-04 and he said he would give me a referral to get the ball rolling and I've done extensive research already on Dr. Osvaldo Anez in VA and hopefully I'll be able to get an appointment with him to see if there's any way he can help me win my battle of the bulge. I have asked God to do this for me as I'm at the end of my rope.
I also feel my weight has been a hindrance not allowing me to be as active as my mindset. I am often exhausted after just a little physical activity and I know at 37 I should be more active than I currently am. I have 2 god-children who I would love to be able to go out and run and play around with them and I can do this but not for a long period of time as I get tired very quickly. I know the weight is slowing me down as its beginning to affect my knees when I walk for long periods of time.
I am really hoping that I will be approved for this surgery because I know I will feel better about myself as I now have low self esteem and those close to me are really freaked out by this because they have never known me to be "depressed" by the way I look because I thrive on making sure I look my best at all times. I have told those close to me that I dress the way I do because I'm trying to hide the weight. I am at the point that I no longer feel like going the extra mile it takes to keep up this appearance.
I never knew how people would always say they hate the way they looked, but now I understand exactly how they feel because I really hate the way I look and feel.
Pictures: http://s47.photobucket.com/albums/f153/MSPRAISE/
Future Updates
Future Updates
Future Updates
Future Updates
Future Updates
The begining starts in the blog above
NOVEMBER 2004
11-2-04:
Today I went to see Dr. Marla Shuman, MD for a Pulmonary clearance and I'm happy to report everything went just fine. She cleared me to have the surgery and said she saw nothing that would hinder me from doing so. I was so relieved to hear this as I've heard stories of people who have gone through all the test only to find out they weren't good candidates for the surgery. I'm really relieved to know that all is okay.
11-4-04:
Today I went for my pre-surgical interview at Dr. Anez's office and Maria went over my test results with me from the Pulmonary Specialist (Dr. Marla Shuman). Dr. Shuman gave me the clearance but I was upset to know that she wrote in her write-up that I told her I hadn't taken the prescription Dr. Anez prescribed me (Prev Pack - biaxin, trimoxin, previcid). My surgery was about to be post-poned because of this and I have no idea where Dr. Shuman came up with this information. We never even discussed anything like this so to hear this from Maria was quite upsetting. I told Maria I had taken those 8 pills a day for 14 days and she could verify that by my roommate at the time and my co-workers. I was really upset by this because she had no right to lie on me that way. I have contacted her office and am waiting on her to call me because I would like to know why she said this and then I feel she owes me an apology. But all is well as Maria was fine with me letting her know that I had taken the prescription. I tell you...it seems the more anxious I am to have this surgery the more "things" come up. I'm trusting in God that everything will be just fine and these are just little stumbling blocks that's testing me to ensure I'm a good candidate for this surgery.
I am really getting excited as I have 7 days from today and that will be the beginning of my new life. I have been doing so much (i.e. cleaning, finishing assignments at work, etc.). I now have shopping to do (vitamins, food, etc.) and will take care of this over the weekend. Just think...in 7 days I'll be on my way to a new slimmer me and I have waited for this for some time now.
I will definitely keep you posted on the outcome and my progress, so until next time...
11-8-04:
Today I went and purchased all my vitamins and supplements. I had fun shopping at The Vitamin Shoppe and Wal-Mart (for other reasons besides vitamins). I am getting excited as I am two three days away from the start of my new healthier, slimmer life. I now have to go grocery shopping to purchase foods I'll be able to eat when I return home from surgery. I have purchased a food processer and will use this to puree' my food.
I was very busy at work today as I had alot of things to finish up before surgery. I've managed to get alot done today and really surprised myself on how focused I was to completing one particular assignment that has been on my desk for 2 weeks. In any event...tomorrow is my last day at the office until December 6th (unless I'm up to going back before then). I have a wonderful support system at work (my supervisor and another co-worker). These two have been so supportive of my desicion to have WLS as they have known me since I began working at the agency at 18 years old (go figure), but they have seen how I've struggled to lose weight and they've seen how I've gained it back. They are so proud that I've made the decision to do something about it and have both offered to be there for me to take to and from the hospital and has offered to stay with me when I return home. They will never know how much their support has helped me through this and its nice to be associated with people who are caring.
Well...that's it for now...so, until next time...
11-10-04
Well...it's now 11:54pm and I'm sitting here thinking tomorrow will be the beginning of my new life. I am so ready for this until I have already got my place in order for my return from the hospital. I've done my grocery shopping, turned my TV room into a mini kitchen (to keep from running up and down the steps), I've stocked my mini-refrigerator with water, moved all my vitamins and supplements upstairs, put movies upstairs and just cleaned everything to where I want it to be when I get home.
My girlfriend came from Delaware to be with me as she's my angel and I'm so glad she will be there with me through this process. It means more than she'll ever know and my girlfriend Lynda (who's also my angel) and her boyfriend came to see me the tonight as well and they will be going to the hospital with me in the morning also. My god-mother Pearl will be there also, so I definitely have alot of people who will be there to support me and be there with me.
Well...as for my "last meal before surgery" Kelsey and I went to dinner at Applebee's and I ate a bacon-cheeseburger, with mashed potatoes and it was simply delicious. I would have liked to eat my lasagna, but was unable to do anything with tomatoe or tomatoe sauce because of the acid in my stomach, so I figured eat something I may miss and since I hadn't had a hamburger in a while I opted for the burger. It was really good.
Well...I'm going to sleep now as I have to be at the hospital at 6:30am and its now midnight. Anyway...I'll update you upon my return from the hospital and thanks to all my AMOS family for the love, encouragement and support. Until next time...
11-13-04:
Well...I made it to the other side and surgery went without any problems. I came home on Saturday evening and have been in pain but nothing to excrutiating (especially after taking the percocet). I am so glad its finally over (the surgery) and am ready to begin my new life.
Thanks to all my AMOS friends and family for your continued support and hey...I could not have done it without you. It means more than you'll ever know just how much your words of encouragement helped me through this.
I had two of the best angels anyone could ask for and I will be forever grateful for all their help and support. Lynda and Kelsey were simply faboulous and both had the surgery as well (Kelsey 2 years ago and Lynda 3 weeks ago and still recovering).
I was having problems in the hospital with them checking my blood pressure, but I wasn't worried because I knew I was still breathing and had a pulse, so I didn't concern myself with that. As for the hospital stay, I really can't complain that much and the only thing I can complain about is how uncomfortable the bed was as it had my back hurting so bad I had to sleep in the chair for 2 nights, but I'm home now and feeling alot better.
I also got some bad news today...my brother passed away. My family was trying to sheild me from the bad news but the only thing they did was upset me more by not telling me when they found out. I was still in the hospital when I found out so if anything was going to happen to me I was in the best place (smile). I'm sorry that my brother has passed on but I now know he's in a better place and no longer suffering, so to God be the glory. We are currently making funeral arrangements and his funeral will more than likely be the end of the week.
Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm officially home from the hospital and will keep you updated. Until next time...
11-18-04:
Today I saw Dr. Anez to have my staples removed and surprisingly it didn't hurt. I was so excited when I jumped on the scale and was down 16 pounds!!! You would have thought I hit the lottery when I was weighed and saw that I dropped those pounds and my BMI is down as well. As of 1 week out I weight 269 pounds and my BMI is 49.2. I know its small, but it has really encouraged me today and I'm looking forward to the continued weight loss and progress. Well...I just wanted to share that news with you and until next time...
11-22-04:
Today was a long and busy day, we buried my brother and to my surprise it wasn't one of those "depressing" funerals that made you sit there and cry, it was a true home going celebration and I was glad to know that my brother was saved and had given his life to Christ. It was good seeing my family as well (sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc.). We had a really nice time considering the circumstance. In any event, although I'd rather have my brother still here on earth, I know that God has work for him to do and that's why he chose to come for him when he did. I get comfort in knowing that my brother has gone on to a better place and while he will be missed here on earth he will never be forgotten.
On another note...I'm healing fine. I drove for the first time today since having surgery and you would have thought I just received my license. Dr. Anez instructs his patients not to drive for 2 weeks after having surgery, but I figured now was a better time as any, so I drove today and it was so good to get out of the house. I actually went out yesterday (shopping) and its so hard to break old habits. I did purchase one item in a smaller size as this will be my inspiration to fit into this outfit. When I'm able to fit into this outfit I purchased yesterday I'll know that I'm either at goal or pretty close to it. Well...that's all I have to report at the moment, so until next time...
11-26-04:
Yesterday was my first Thanksgiving since having the surgery and I can honestly say it wasn't bad at all. I really enjoyed spending time with my family and they were very accommodating to my new eating lifestyle. My sister made sure she cooked food that I can eat and she also made food for me to take home and I must say I'll enough food to last me for quite a while. Well, I guess I'll go pack my food and freeze what I won't be able to eat for a while as its so much. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and until next time...
11-29-04:
Today was my first day back at work since my surgery. I decided to go back and do half days until I feel well enough to go back full-time. It was good to get back to work and since my job isn't one that consists of any real physical labor I decided I can go to work and interact with people versus staying home watching television all day doing absolutely nothing. My supervisor was surprised to see me so soon as I was originally scheduled to return on December 6, but in any event, I felt well enough to go in today for a half day. I must admit, by the time I left at noon and arrived home at 12:30pm I was ready for a nap. When I got home I had to lay down for a while because I felt like I was exhausted and I didn't do anything more at work than usual. I ran two reports and worked on one other document but I was at my desk at all times so I'm not really sure where the exhaustion came from, but in any event...I guess that's the downside of having major surgery, your body just doesn't bounce back as quickly as you'd like.
I didn't have a good day today eating and I'm not sure why. I dumped twice today at lunch and dinner. This was my first experience dumping and I think I was a little freaked out because it came out of nowhere. For lunch I ate turkey (finely chopped) and spinach. As soon as I ate the spinach that's when I dumped and believe me I don't think I'll eat spinach for a while. For dinner I ate crab-cake, mashed potatoe and applesauce. I'm not sure what didn't agree with my stomach during dinner (especially since I've eaten this twice before), but in any event, today wasn't a good food day, so I decided not to eat anything else today and only consume water for the remainder of the evening. I did manage to get down 2 protein drinks and all of my vitamins and supplements.
Also, there's a new picture of me on my site and this is me the night before surgery in which I had balloned up to 285 pounds. For some reason the picture didn't come out to great when they posted it to my site, however, it turned out remarkable when I took it with my digital camera, but in any event, that's the last fat picture of me before surgery.
Well,that's all I have to report at the moment, so until next time...
DECEMBER 2004
12-1-04:
Went to see Dr. Anez today, well actually I saw Maria (his physican assistant) and I'm down 26 pounds!!! My incision is healing well and so far so good. I am able to get in the pool and walk (no swimming) and get in jacuzzi's now. I feel fine and am looking forward to my weight loss journey. Will keep you posted.
12-5-04:
Hello all, its been a few days since I've updated and as you know I keep my page up to date as this is also serving as my weight loss journal. Today I'm not feeling all that great. For some reason I feel as if I'm somewhat dizzy and my body is really exhausted. I'm really not sure why as I haven't done anything to tire myself to this degree. I went out yesterday for a few hours to get a start on my Christmas shopping and when I got home I felt fine. I woke up this morning and went to the grocery store to purchase a few items and I think what has me feeling this way is I ate a package of instant grits with butter and I ate the entire package. I have been feeling funny since eating this and I was really hoping that would be something I could tolerate on my stomach, but I think they are too heavy. In any event, I took it easy today and felt better later on that evening.
I go back to work full-time tomorrow (at least that's what my mind says at the moment). We are going through a rough time at work right now and I think its on my mind moreso than I care to realize. In any event, I guess I'll have to see what happens and deal with the situation as it comes.
Oh well...until next time...
12-9-04:
Well...it has been a week and I must say it was a challenge returning back to work full-time after having been off for a while, however, its good to be back.
I have discovered two protein drinks that offers 40 grams of protein per bottle and the taste isn't half bad. The drinks are Isopure and ABB Pro Pure and they both come in a variety of flavors. I have also stepped up my walking and I believe I'm almost at 2 miles per day (yeah!!!). I am so proud of myself already for having had this surgery as I already feel a difference.
12-11-04:
Today officially makes me 1 month post-op and I must say its been an experience. I am down 30 pounds and feeling great. I have to begin exercising a little more as my walk-away-the-pound tapes are only doing so much, however, since I am only 1 month out there's not so much I can do at the moment, but I'm going to relax and not stress about losing the weight super fast as it didn't come on overnight. I just want to be down at least 70 pounds by July '05 when I go to my 20 year high school class reunion. People keep telling me I will be down more than that, but I'm not getting my hopes up because things never come easy for me, so I believe once I'm able to get into the gym the weight will start coming off quicker, but until then I'm thankful for every pound I shed up until that time.
I am often finding myself not hungry and not wanting to eat. I know I'm supposed to eat 3 meals a day, but if that wasn't required I could probably survive on just one meal per day. I have to make myself eat (go figure). I have spoken to my nutritionist and she says some people go through this but I have to eat so I keep to my schedule and eat the meals. The one thing I'm struggling on is narrowing down what I can eat for breakfast besides eggs. I don't like oatmeal, can't eat too many white foods as they keep weight on you and that's not something I'm trying to do. I have lunch and dinner down to a science, but this breakfast thing is challenging. I guess in time I'll figure out something but for now...eggs are my best friend and I don't want to eat those everyday as I don't want to incur cholesterol problems.
On another note...I finally went out and did some Christmas shopping yesterday and I had 20 gifts on my list to purchase and I purchased all but 4 from Hecht's for under $200. I am always amazed at the bargains I find as I'm definitely a bargain shopper..."I will not pay retail"!! Of course after purchasing all those gifts I felt a little slighted so I had to purchase me something...and since I'm a sweater person I bought me one sweater (hey, that's progress for me) and it felt good to be able to purchase it in a 1X versus a 3X, so imagine the excitement when I tried on the 2X and it was too big so I had to go to the next lower size.
Well...I just wanted to let you know where I am one month from surgery and will update again soon. Until next time...
11:00pm:
Tonight has been a terrible night. I ate a piece of chicken which I thought I chewed well enough and it got hung in my chest and wouldn't move. I chopped up the chicken and still chewed and for some reason it got hung up and wouldn't pass through for hours. I thought I was on the verge of having a heart attack because my chest was so tight and I was throwing up and it still didn't move. I know you're saying...why is she telling about that experience, well...this is my on journal and I'm writing everything that happened. I finally pulled out my nutrtional book I received from the nutritionist and it had a section in there telling what to do as I was about to call the ambulance. The book instructed me to take some papaya enzyme tablets and a little meat tenderizer w/water (to break down the food), well, after taking the pills and drinking the water which made me throw up everything I felt better after a while. This lasted for 3 hours and believe me I thought to myself...what the hell have I gotten myself in too. I have decided to go back to pureeing my food because its obvious any little thing can get hung up. I'm happy to report I feel better now and am going to get some sleep as I have a final exam tomorrow at 2pm (wish me luck). Until next time...
12-12-04:
Today I feel much better than I did yesterday and I will definitely begin pureeing my foods again. On another note, I took my final exam today and I am pretty confident I did well. I was surprised to know that the test had to be "hand-written" versus using a computer, but hey, I guess some things we do still have to actually use our god-given penmanship, but in any event I think I did well on my test.
I am beginning to feel a difference in my clothes and some shoes as they are now loose. I tried on a pair of pants today that I wore to work a little over a month ago and they were "tight", well I'm happy to report that those pants are now extremely too big. It's so amazing that I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 18 in a month and am now able to wear my 1X tops that I had purchased a couple of years ago. I am pulling out clothes I haven't been able to wear in years and it feels really good. I have so many people wanting to come to my house to get my clothes I'm no longer able to wear until I don't know where to start. I think I'll probably put some on the clothing exchange so others can benefit from them. I'll have to check into that a little more to see exactly how that programs works. Anyway...just wanted to let you all know that this surgery is definitely working as I already feel smaller and I'm beginning to get back to my old "extra-confident" self. I don't know how many times I have said to myself..."this is the best decision I've made in a long time" and people often ask me do I regret having this surgery and I tell them "no" as I would do it again.
12-24-04:
Hello everyone...it's been a while since I've updated. I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season. I have finally finished Christmas shopping and believe me...it was a task finding the few remaining gifts, but do not fear...I did it and quite economically I must say.
I'd also like to report I joined Curves yesterday and begin my workout on Monday, December 26th. I am looking forward to getting into the gym to begin working out. I have seen the results of people who have joined Curves, and I like the concept of their 30 minute workout routine. I have committed myself to going a minimum of 3 days a week, however, I figure at a half hour I can do that workout Monday-Friday. I met the manager yesterday as she went through the entire workout process with me. I have set my goal of getting to a size 8/10 and since I'm now a size 18W I have some serious work to do. I will keep you updated on my progress.
While at Curves yesterday, they took my measurements and I have decided to post them here (remember...this is after I've already lost pounds and inches...so I'll begin keeping track officially from these measurements).
My official weight and body measurements after joining Curves on 12-23-04 are as follows:
Weight - 245 lbs. (goal - 145-150 pounds)
Bust - 47 inches (goal - 36 inches)
Waist - 41 inches (goal - 28 inches)
Abdomen - 44.5 inches (goal - 37 inches)
Hips - 52 inches (goal - 38)
Thighs - 33.25 inches (goal - ?)
Arms - 20.25 inches (goal - ?)
I will keep you posted on my progress and have a wonderful holiday season. Until next time...
12-31-04:
Hello all, I wish each of you a happy new year and more success on the "losing" process next year. All is well with me as I have begin working out and have really enjoyed going to Curves. That 30 minute workout really "works you out" and I am already feeling the burn. I have committed myself to working out on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm starting slow right now as I have to get myself into the swing of things, but I am trying to build myself up to going at least 5 days a week (so wish me luck).
I did something the other day I've never done and I actually enjoyed myself...I played raquetball and that is some serious exercise. I am so hell-bent on jumpstarting my weight loss that I'm attempting a little bit of everything (besides weight training for the moment). I never knew how much of a workout you could get from playing raquetball.
I go back to Dr. Anez on Monday for my almost 2 month check-up and I really need to talk with him about this strange feeling I sometimes have on my left side. It's almost like I'm pulling something if I turn to the left and its very uncomfortable at times. I have also experienced a little numbness in my left hand for a brief period of about 10 seconds and this has happened twice, so I'm really eager to speak with him on Monday as I haven't read anything about these symptoms. I decided to wait to see Dr. Anez versus my PCP since I just had th
Page Spruced up by
 |
