April 21, 2009

Apr 21, 2009

I finally made it into Onederland!  YEH!!!  I also lost 100 lbs!  Another Big YEH!!!

I seem to have stalled a little bit in my weight loss, but I'm still loosing.  I can't believe that I'm finally out of the 200's!  I was nearly at the 300 mark when I started this journey and it feel wonderful.  I've lost over 100 lbs now and have noticed a really big difference in how I can move about.  Almost from the start, I noticed a big difference in my energy level, but now I can do so many more things that I ever could before.  I still have 70 lbs to loose, but I'm feeling much more confident that I will loose it.  When I started this journey, I really thought that it would incredible if I could get to this stage.  Now, it's 8 months and here I am. 

One of the side effects is that I'm so busy now.  I used to be on this forum almost all day, reading every post and getting so much support and encouragement.  I feel like I've let the people on here down by not being here as much as I used to.  I'm sorry, but I'm feeling very stressed with all that I have to do now - and can do.  Work is really busy; I'm walking (still my only exercise due to problems with an abdominal cyst); getting all the tax returns that I've promised to do, done; shopping (oh my I need clothes for my trip to England May 1); fixing up around the house (still getting settled in my new house); keeping up with family obligations.

I do think of the people on this forum who are going through this amazing journey so often.  When I first started, I didn't think I could really comprehend that I'd never be able to eat like I used to.  It's starting to feel more like my lifestyle now - not just another "diet".  At the beginning, although I knew this was a lifetime commitment, I just couldn't think about the long term changes to eating.  The tought that I'd never be able to have a DQ, popcorn with butter, french fries - all the food that I loved, was more than I could deal with.  So, I did the AA practice of just "one day at a time".  Well, now I can see that I don't mind and don't even want those foods anymore.  The tought of them still makes me feel sad, but when I think about how they tasted and the whole eating experience, I feel sick to my stomach.  So the tool is working and I'm working the tool by not tempting myself by trying to eat these food.  What if I find out that I can eat them without getting sick?  I'd be in trouble again, so I stay away.  I hope I'm able to maintain this thinking for the rest of my life.  The longer I stay on track, the better for my long term prognosis.

My best wishes, hopes and prayers are with each and every person who decides to take this journey.  It's not for everyone - you really need to make sure that you can't control your weight on your own before taking this drastic measure.  It is life saving, but it can also cost you your life.  Be sure before jumping into any surgery!!!

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