Shella M.
Wow... Where do I start? I have been overweight since I was a teenager. I am 43 years old now and the mother to 5 children. I have 2 grown children who are on their own and 2 boys that are 3 and 5 living at home with me. My daughter Sherry passed away at 16 seven years ago. I have just packed on the weight since then. It sure has been much easier to put it on than to take it off. At any rate I developed gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my last child. I ate the way I was supposed to and lost 49 pounds while I was pregnant mostly out of fear of losing my baby. After I delivered my son I was able to go off the insulin and diabetic meds. My doctor warned me that if I gainede the weight back I would become diabetic again. He wasn't lying. I gained some of the weight back and presto as promised the diabetes was back with a vengence not to mention my bloodpressure was out of control. I spoke to my primary care physician about having wls. His reply was you just need to eat less. Wow What a fricken thought? I agreed to try and once again go on a diet and try to lose the weight on my own... not that I hadn't tried everything under the sun but he seemed to think that surgery was too risky. I managed to lose 5 pounds in about 2 months... I remember thinking I can't do this on my own. I was tired and out of breath all the time... Remember I have 2 little ones that I have to chase on a regular basis. They are soooo active. I went back to the doctor and this time I told him we needed to talk. I needed to be part of this. He told me why he thought I should do it on my own and I told him that I felt I needed the help. It wasn't like I hadn't given this surgery alot of thought. My husband had bypass surgery back in 1985. I had given it lots of thought but always feared not making it through the surgery. Here I am now over 300 lbs with diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic pain in my lower back and hips. I was miserable. I told him it wasn't just me I was thinking of... I had 2 precious little boys that I had the responsibility of raising and I wanted to be around for grandchildren. He was really negative about it but he sent off a referral for me telling me just because he sent the referral didn't mean that I was going to have the surgery. I went to the orientation and I cried. I finally felt like there was hope for me. I had to attend 6 months of classes required for my insurance to authorize payment for the surgery. I completed those classes last August. I was so gung ho going through the classes. I learned alot. I lost about 30 lbs. The day I graduated I attended the seminar required by my surgeon. Hearing over and over how this surgery could be fatal and that it wasn't for everyone really put the fear of God in me. So much so that I have put off all the preop stuff I have to do like seeing the psychologist, the internist, and the surgeon. Here we are the middle of June. I was told I only had a year to complete the surgery if my insurance was going to pay for it. I went to my son's wedding the end of last month. I tried my damndest to hide from the cameras. Seeing the few pics they got made me really sad. I kept telling myself that I didn't care what the outside looked like... but let me tell you when I saw those pics it does matter. I saw someone who was not only unhealthy but unhappy. I have spent the last 2 weeks really thinking about this surgery. I am ready, more ready than I have ever been. I want to be healthy and happy not only for me but for my children.
