Catherine-Mo

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Today I had an EGD done and found out the lapband has slipped.   I am hoping my insurance company will approve revision surgery to gastric bypass.  I am nervous because I don't want to fail this time around.  I am still at 308 and that is hard to swallow.  Lately I have been binging and I need to get back on track.  I read blogs from different people who have been successful and they exercise 6 or 7 days a week.  I can't imagine doing that.  3 or 4 times I can see but what if that is not enough?  God, please help calm my fears.

 

Went to the gym and weighed myself.  I am at 308.8.  It is slowly going down.  Did some walking with my husband which was good.  Do I or do I not want to go through another surgery?  That is the question.  So many unknowns.   I guess I just need to wait until I get some clarity.  If I just use my band the process of losing weight will be very slow.  If I get gastric bypass surgery then the process would move alot faster but what about numerous things.  For example, I was supposed to have my gallbladder taken out 7 years ago but never did.  Will that be an issue.  I am on antidepressants and will the mal-absorption send me on a downward spiral?   I take ibuprofen for cramps because nothing else works.  Will that be an issue?     I guess I just need to wait until I can talk tot eh doctor to get some answers. Easier said than done.   

I just deleted all my old friends since the last post was 2010 or older.  I really desire to find friends who are actively trying to work their tool (any type of surgery)  and want  support.  I think one of my issues was not having people to talk to who were in the same position I was in.  My surgeon didn't have support groups when I first had my surgery.  They were just introduction meetings which were basically for newbies.  I didn't want to burst their bubble with my struggles.    I am back on track but it is a slow process.  Whether I get to have revision surgery or not, I am not giving up.  Anyone willing to fight for recovery and success, please consider us being friends.  The more support the better. 

 

I'm just not sure if my insurance will cover a revision surgery plus remove the lapband.  I can't control that right now but I can control what I am eating and how much I exercise.  It has been a while but I walked for 1 hour at the gym today plus did some weights.  Every bit helps.  I keep looking at new posts so I can learn all I can about this process.  I did weight myself at the gym and I am at 312.6.  Hey, at least I'm heading down,.  Emotionally I am doing OK.  When I crave food my therapist says to ask myself what feeling am I trying to avoid or what need is not getting met.  Sometimes I just don't know the answer to these questions. I'm not sure why things have been so easy the past 2 weeks and before that it was like trying to move a crane!! . I just fear going back to the old way. I guess I'll enjoy it while it lasts and pray it lasts a VERY long time!!  I just praise God for the new revelations I have and how faithful He is.   I just have to trust him that he will open the door for me to have rny if it is His will.  

Well, it is now 2013 and I'm back to what I weighed when I had the lapband surgery-317.   I am pondering the idea of having gastric bypass surgery but if the band didn't work what makes me think gastric bypass will work.  I am now in counseling for eating disorders (obesity) and go to a dietician monthly which helps.  I have a friend having plastic surgery today since she lost so  much weight with gastric bypass.  My niece and nephew are getting confirmed in May and I'm not going since I don't want to deal with the embarrassment of being too big to fit in a plane seat.      Since I found out our new insurance covers bariatric surgery I  have had a renewed sense of hope.  I am going back to the rules of the lapband and incorporating what I have learned in therapy.   I am not sure what I will do.  We will see if I can utilize the band again or if gastric bypass is necessary.   I decided to come back to this forum to reconnect with others struggling with the same issue I am. 

 

Well, I'm back at 300 pounds.   It is a struggle to stay at this weight.  It is really hot outside and so I am struggling with exercise.  I try to take the dogs for a walk first thing in the morning.    I am not working so I have alot of time on my hands.  I am doing some Christian Counseling which helps.  I have made some connections at church which is positive but my insecurities are now more evident.   I have lots of reflux and think about getting an unfill but I'm just not sure what to do.  I don't want to eat even more.     I am on medication for reflux and have been for over 2 years.  I still struggle with depression and food.  My husband is a wonderful support and so loving but I feel guilty that I keep crying on his shoulder.   I feel no closer to having a grasp on my addcition than when I first started the journey of getting the band.  At least it is 4 plus years and I don't weigh what I did in late 2006.   I just keep praying for revelation and recovery. 

Well, lately I have been struggling.  Tomorrow is the 1st Father Day since my father died PLUS the anniversary of my mom's death.  When I struggle with depression I tend to struggle with food issues.  I'm back up to 295.  I have been trying to get help with the depression since I can't seem to get support for the eating issues.  I tried to get a local pen-pal but nobody responded.  I don't want to destroy the hope of newbies so I want to connect with someone who had surgery a few years ago.  I just don't seem to have any luck.  It is even hard to find people locally in my church.  I'm so grateful for a wonderful husband.  Thank God he is alot more tolerant of my weight issues than I am.  I just don't want to give up. 

Well, it has almost been 2 years since I posted.  I did get over 300 pounds and now I'm back on the way down.  I weighed myself yesterday and it was 292.  I am back just eating 3 meals a day and a snack.  I am working only part time since working full time was so stressful and a huge trigger to overeat.  It is sad for me to read and hear about so many people being successful and I was not.  I have 2 friends who had gastric bypass and they are a normal weight.  Not me!!  I can't focus on the past I just have to take one day at a time and do the next right thing.  I am not in the best mood tonight but I am not going to eat over it.  God  really is helping me and I am so grateful.    I wish I kneow of a support group in the Kansas City metro area that helped people who are struggling and not just new people wanting the surgery.  It has been over 4 years since I had my surgery.  If anyone knows of a support gorup please let me know. 

Well, I have kept gaining and now I'm back up to 270.  I have gained 45 pounds since my lowest weight.  I am not back over 300, though.  I have decided to see a therapist tomorrow to begin to address my issues.  I know I'm eating portions that are too big and drinking with meals.  I am trying to stop that.  I am still walking but not really working out like I did in the past.  I know I need to make some changes but I need support.  The group in my area has so many new people that it is all about them and doesn't go into depth to deal with deeper issues.  I have had a rough past 6 months which has my addressing weight issues more difficult.  Depression and major financial losses have been difficult to deal with but now I'm back on track with those issues.   I feel stable emotionally so now is the time to readdress these issues.    I truly need God's help to motivate me.

I have gained about 10 pounds and I continue to struggle with weight issues. It is like how it was prior to getting the band but at least I'm 100 pounds less. I just don't want to go back where I came from. Yes, I have been eating breads, pasta, and rice. These are the things I initally avoided. When I overeat then I get depressed and get caught in that negative cycle. I'm almost 2 years out and haven't lost anything overall this past year. OY VEY!!!