I have my surgery consultation Monday, February 5, 2001. We'll see what happens from there.
Wed. Feb. 28, 2001 I'm off to have my psych. consult today and then it is just wait and see if I am approved! I hope so and I hope I don't have to wait forever to find out if my insurance will cover it or for a surgery date. I've been thorough in my research and have talked with my psychiatrist at length about it and I am mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually ready to go. Everyone I have met through this process has been wonderful and incredibly knowledgable. This web site has been a blessing as well.
Mon. March 12, 2001 I was supposed to find out last Fri. if the Drs. team approved me for the surgery and I am still waiting! Anxious to hear. I am so ready for this change and looking forward to the change in my relationship with food. Lately I have been losing a little just through increased attention to my choices and more exercise. But with the amount I need to lose I so desperately need the help surgery will give me. Don't "they" know hard the waiting is? Ring phone!
Monday, March 26, 2001 I have been accepted as a candidate for surgery by Dr. Estakhri and her team. Waiting to hear about insurance approval and a surgery date. I am ready now, so the sooner the better for me. I continue to lose weight slowly without a lot of effort, it seems like once I decided to go through with the surgery my mind and body have fallen into line and are helping me get ready. I'm walking more often and haven't had a big appetite lately. And the wonderful is I am not craving sugar so much. Just more waiting to cope with now.
Thursday, April 5, 2001 Still no surgery date or ins. approval, don't even know if they have submitted it for approval yet. Don't want to be a pest but I hate not knowing where I am at in the process! Frustrated!
Tuesday, April 17, 2001 I have a surgery date of June 21! My pre-op is June 1. I am so glad to finally have approval and a date, now more patience on my part since I have TWO more months of waiting. My only complaint on this whole thing is the amount of time it takes. It will be a total of 6 months from the time I called for an appt. with the surgeon to when I have surgery and that's with my insurance approving it the first time out! I'm very fortunate compared to many but still hate this prolonged process when I am so ready to go and have been working so hard at being prepared. I've even managed to drop 20#'s since mid-Jan. Oh well, I guess it is a test for some reason. My family is OK except for my brother, he is totally against it. I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like he had more faith in me. I think he thinks I haven't put enough thought and research into this and in spite of what I say he doesn't believe me. I know I've looked at this from all sides and know it was what I need to do to save my life and that's the most important thing. I also know it isn't something I am taking lightly, this is an incredibly major life changing event. Anyone who reads about the whole process, not just the surgery will find out that we have not chosen the easy way out.
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 Not enjoying the waiting, need to practice patience. I am wondering if there is a method to the Drs. making you wait so long? I'm just ready to go, my friends are on notice and ready to help post-op, and it feels like all my concerns have been addressed and all parts of me are prepared and willing to move forward now. I turn 46 this Sat. and that makes me want to get surgery sooner too, I'm not getting any younger. Oh well, not much I can do since it is in the control of the surgeon at this point.
Monday, May 7, 2001 Got a little scared this weekend reading some posts from people who had surgery and recovery problems. It's like it really hit me that I am going to do this and my life is going to be changed in an enormous way come June 21. I'm excited and a little scared but know I have made the right decision. I am going to the support group tonight and a pre-surgery nutrition meeting tomorrow night, looking forward to it. Hurry up and get here June 21!
Wednesday, May 9, 2001 Bad afternoon, hurt feelings, think portions of a family e-mail I wasn't supposed to see got sent to me in error. Now I know what some in my family really feel about alot of things, most especially my surgery. It just hurts.
Thursday, May 24, 2001 Three weeks to my surgery, after all these months it is hard to believe I am almost there. I keep praying for the best outcome and am glad I have lost twenty pounds since the first of the year. I imagine it can only help. I have been seeing someone since Jan. and he has been wonderful about liking the me I am now and has even encouraged me to wear shorts in public and has gotten me into a bathing suit. He says he supports me having the surgery and I don't have any reason to think he won't; but a part of me worries that the changes in me might affect our friendship/relationship. I guess it is up to us to make sure that doesn't happen. We talk alot and when problems come up we have worked them out. His friendship and support in all areas of my life is important to me and I would hate to lose it. As always I can only put my trust and faith in God that it will all go as it is meant to. Anyway, I am ready to go, for the most part.
Wednesday, June 13, 2001 8 days from now I will be in surgery. After what seems like forever, the day is almost here. I am looking forward to the new beginning with my relationship to food. I will be having an Open RNY since she has to take down my Nissen surgery. I'm OK with it, I trust her to do what is best for me. After all, she has no interest in losing a patient. Since making the decision to have the surgery I seem to have lost my interest in food, I like it. There is just not the obsession with it that I had and I have managed to lose 25 pounds since my first appt. with the surgeon in Feb. It can only help in my surgery and recovery to have those extra pounds off. The support I have found here and through the OSSG group has been wonderful, better than anything else! Parts of the support groups have been helpful but I wish they were a bit more focused and that some individuals weren't allowed to dominate the group. But will take all the support I can get. I am hoping my boyfriend comes through with his ability to be a caretaker the first few nights I am home, a real test of our relationship. My mom offered for me to stay with them when I first get out of the hospital, which was really nice, but I feel such a need to be near my friends. Besides I think if I am home I will be more active and get up and around more. Anyway, I think I am ready for this and am looking forward to June 21! I will now have three birthdays, my actual birthday, April 28, 1955. Then my sobriety birthday of Dec. 18, 1990 and now this one, June 21, 2001! Can I get presents on all of them?
Tuesday, June 19, 2001 My big day is almost here, I am so excited about having a new beginning! I am so pleased that I chose Dr. Estakhri to do my surgery, I have the utmost confidence in her skill! Will be keeping all my new friends and fellow June 21 surgery buddies in my prayers. The support and information here have been wonderful.
Wednesday, June 20, 2001 My last post before surgery, I am not feeling nervous at all, just looking forward to having the surgery done and over with. All the people here have been amazing in their support and kindness. Thank God I found this site.
Tuesday, June 26, 2001 I'm home and doing well. Surgery went great and no complications, thus far. God has brought me this far and I have faith that he will help me the rest of the way.
Thursday, July 5, 2001 I had my first post-op visit Tuesday, July 3 and it went great. I lost 11 pounds so that makes a total of 39 since I started this journey on Feb. 5, 2001. I am healing well and my staples and one drain came out. The other drain will come out next Tues., hopefully! So very glad I had this surgery!
Wednesday, Sept. 5, 2001 I am doing great! Not losing as fast as I had hoped or as quickly as others but I am doing everything right so I guess my body is just different. Wonderful things since surgery: almost fit into an airline seat without any butt encroaching on my seatmate, bought clothes in a size I haven't worn in 10 years, went to a water park and went around "as is" in my bathing suit! No shorts, cover-up, towel wrap! My boyfriend was so proud of me. He has helped me so much with body acceptance before and since surgery, it has helped with the changes I am expereincing along the way. We started dating in Jan., I had already made the appt. with the surgeon and he has supported me through the whole process. Nice to know he loved the fat Anita first and continues to love me as my weight changes. I am so happy I had the surgery!
Friday, October 5, 2001 I am now 15 weeks post-op and my total weight loss is 75 pounds! My BMI is now 34 and I am no longer in the morbidly obese category, it falls in the very overweight category now. It is going great and I am so grateful to Dr. Estakhri and her whole team for the successful surgery, recovery and support along the way. I also appreciate the support of all my online friends on the journey with me! Give yourself this gift, it is the best one I ever gave to myself (besides getting sober).
Friday, Nov. 16, 2001 It is almost 5 months since my surgery and I have lost a total of 90 pounds! I lost 27 of those before surgery and the other 63 since. I feel great and have absotlutely no regrets! No cravings, no food obsessions - God and my surgeon have truly blessed me with a new way of life! I sometimes forget and eat too fast which causes a few problems and have had to back off solids twice but other than that it has all gone well. I love buying clothes and I will be buying a size 18 the next time I shop. Wow, a year ago I was firmly in size 32 jeans! Other than terrible gas, I have no complaints. Sex is even more fun and not filled with embarrassment and shame! Give yourself this gift and have the surgery!
Thursday, October 17, 2002 Here I am almost 16 months post-op and finally updating my page. If anyone reads this, know that this surgery saved my life and it was the best gift I could have given myself. When I started on this journey I weighed 300 lbs. and today I weigh 154 lbs.! I reached my goal weight just before my one year anniversary and have maintained it for four months now. I have even experienced something I never thought I would - worrying about losing TOO much weight! I really have to stay on top of my food plan to make sure I stay at my current weight and don't drop below 150 lbs. Wow, what a wonderful thing to have to be concerned about! I actually have gotten a little taller since surgery because I can stand up straight now without terrible pain in my back. I was just a bit under 5'8" and am now 5'9". I wear a size 12 in pants and a med. or lg. in tops. Thankfully I have had very few complications and most of them have been around remembering to eat slow and chew well. If I don't I sometimes feel like food gets stuck and will even throw up at times because of it. Originally I did dump with two much sugar and any really fatty/greasy foods but about 6 months ago I gradually was able to eat a little more sugar. If anything will cause a dumping episode it is something too greasy. Since dumping is a terrible thing I avoid it at all costs! I can't begin to describe what a new life I feel I have been given; my self-confidence is so much better and I no longer hate myself! Old feelings die hard sometimes and one that sometimes surprises me is if someone is staring at me I still automatically think that they are doing so because I am morbidly obese. Then all of a sudden I remember I'm not! I'm normal size and maybe they are staring at me because I look pretty darn good or God forbid, I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe. But they are no longer staring because I am obese! One thing that happened to me that brought me to tears was when I was taking our local rapid transit system, BART, and the seat next to me was no longer the last one to be filled! People avoided me like the plague on public transit because I was so fat I overlapped into their seat. I realized then what a change had taken place with me, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. I could go on and on about all things I am so grateful for since my surgery but work calls at the moment. I will try to come back soon and write more. If someone is thinking about the surgery my recommendation to you is research it thoroughly, talk to people at all stages of the process, examine your reasons for wanting the surgery, and make sure you don't rush into it! It is an amazing thing but it isn't the right answer for everyone, make sure you do it for you, and no one else! I thank God (and an awesome surgeon) every day for giving me a new life! Blessings, love and prayers to all of you!
Thursday, August 7, 2003
It has been so long since I last posted. I am now two years and 1 1/2 months post-op. I lost a total of 150 pounds in the first year post-op. I cannot believe how great it has been learning to live in this new body of mine. I feel so much better, my health is incredibly good and my indicators for lupus activity have been low for over 6 months now. I am so very grateful to Dr. Estakhri and her team for their part in giving me a new life. I am also grateful to my family and friends for their support. Even the doubters about me having the surgery are now happy for me. My boyfriend, who loved the obese Anita first, and I are still together and very happy, he has been an amazing supporter throughout it all.
I did have a small bowel obstruction in Feb. of this year, and let me tell you, that is an awful experience. I made the mistake of going to the local hospital's ER, not the hospital where I had my Open RNY. Four days as an inpatient and they just weren't sure if I had a blockage or not. The surgeon that consulted on my case is a definite naysayer about WLS and basically told me that since my anatomy had been messed with they really couldn't tell what was wrong. I was discharged in incrdible pain. Four days later I couldn't stand it anymore and my PCP told me to go to the ER where I had the WLS. Within an hour of arriving there I was diagnosed as having a small bowel obstruction, had seen my original WLS surgeon, Dr. Estakhri, and was admitted. She said she wanted to observe me for a night and see if the NG tube and medication might help the problem resolve on it's own. There was no change by the next morning so she had me in surgery within two hours of telling me she had to open me up and fix it. I was an emotional basket case, I had so much time to prepare for the WLS and was so ready for it. But this was different, no time to mentally and emotionally prepare but I knew I had the very best surgeon working on me. About five minutes after Dr. Estakhri told me she'd be doing the surgery ASAP my Mom and Dad walked in the door. Didn't know they were coming, about 90 minute drive for them and they are 77 and 80 respectively. I don't care how old you get, the sight of your parents will reduce you to tears when you are in a crisis. I felt like they'd been heaven sent. It was funny I was wanting to pray on the way to surgery but the orderlies and nurse escorting me down kept cracking jokes and making me laugh. I said, "hey, I'm trying to get right with God here, stop cracking me up!" That made them laugh and I decided God knows that laughter is like a prayer for me, and he knew what was in my heart no matter what.
Anyway, I came through with flying colors, and once I was back in my room my folk's came in and right behind them were friends of theirs that had driven 90 miles just to offer support to them and me. Pretty special people. I have to say the pain from this procedure was far worse than my open RNY, Dr. Estakhri said because the blockage was so far down on the small intestine she really had to move things around in there which caused more trauma to the area. She said my small intestine had wrapped itself around a flap of scar tissue and was basically being strangualted. Thankfully she was able to fix me up without having to remove any intestine or do a colonoscopy. She did take my appendix out while there in that vicinity, OK by me.
Anyway, to bring this saga to an end, I am all better although it took me longer to get back on my feet than I anticipated. All is well though and she checked out my RNY surgery and said everything still looked great. I'm doing great but have found I am able to eat more food now, although I guess that isn't too unusual for two years out, things do stretch. Prior to this last surgery I was struggling to keep my weight at 150, it kept dropping below. Everyone, including my PCP (who supports WLS), told me I was looking too sucked up so I have managed to put on 10 pounds and everyone says I look so much better. It feels OK at this weight but my clothes are a little tighter, I'm not sure I like that. For those of you concerned that this bowel obstruction was caused by the WLS, it isn't directly linked to it. It is linked to scar tissue but that could be scar tissue from two prior abdominal surgeries I'd had, espcially my tubal ligation since it was so far down. I do advise though that if you ever have severe abdominal pain go straight to your WLS surgeon! Don't mess around with anyone else, I sure learned my lesson!
Well, that's enough out of me! Hang in there everyone! This journey is totally worth the rewards that await you! Love to all and thanks for the support so many have offered!
July 27, 2005
I am updating my profile because I got married on July 9, 2005 and wanted to share my joy on this site. So many amazing things have happened in my life, and having WLS 4 years ago has certainly enhanced my life. I am married to a wonderful man who loved me as a woman first and foremost, the fact that he also loved the "fat" me first also says so much about the man he is. He has always loved me just as I am, just as I love him. I am 50 years old and married for the very first time, I wasn't sure it would ever happen but am sure glad I waited for this man. I also became a mom, actually before we got married his 14 year old daughter came to live with us. She is a delight and our lives have been blessed by her presence. My friends thought I was taking on a lot when I told them Cliff's 14 year old daughter was coming to live with us. Well, she is challenging, not because she is a teenager but because she has Down's Syndrome. I always swore I would never be a mom, I didn't want to be - or so I thought. She has won me over, that's for sure. Cliff and I leave in a little over a week on our honeymoon to the Bahamas, just the two of us, and we are so excited about it. 7 days of sun and fun, and child free, thanks to his sister and her husband. Today's challenge is I found out I have a hernia, which will require abdominal surgery - again. My third abdominal surgery in 4 years, but I imagine this will be the easiest of the three. So, life is great and I am still so grateful that I had WLS, and that I also had the best surgeon in the world! God is good!
April 22, 2006
It is a good time to update as my birthday is next Friday, always a time of reflection for me. The past 5 weeks have been full of many challenges (of all kinds) - diagnosed with GERD & esophogitis on 3/17/06 (now on Prilosec & Carafate), the following week all three of us got strep throat and then my father died on 3/24/06 (I miss him!), we went on a vacation to Disneyland and Palm Desert (wonderful trip!), had a surgery consult for my incisional hernia, and this week I have been battling an inner ear infection called labrynthitis (constant vertigo which causes nausea and vomiting). Life is feeling a bit overwhelming for me right now, tired of not feeling good and have been struggling with my parenting skills (or lack thereof), very little patience with daughter's special needs and her extremely slow learning curve is mind-numbingly frustrating. Finally called for an appt. with a therapist yesterday, need to talk to someone about how I am feeling, and get some help with my parenting skills, and also need to talk about my Dad's death. My grieving was put "on hold" due to the pre-planned (and paid for) vacation the week after his death, and also putting a lot of effort into helping my Mom through this time. The good news? I've dropped 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I hope my next update is more positive.
