amahsweet
Since i send this to my freinds who dont know what surgery i did I had gastric bypass surgery.....they cut out my stomach and left a 1 ounce pouch....Now read my story and find out how i feel..it is a learning experience not only for me but everyone that reads what i have wrote since august when i found this site my journey started in april 2001 i am 23 been an army wife for 6 years and have packed on the pounds been going through the steps to get the surgery but the doctor is being a road block for me because of my age says he dont want me to gain weight if i would get pregnant after the surgery i am trying to understand his reasoning but i am seeing many women my age having the surgery and being fine....the weight i am at right now i dont think i could get pregant because of being so heavy. i just need help to make this doctor not be my road block and get what i want done so i can start living my life again. just wanted to update everyone i went to my doctor and told him i wanted a second opinion. he went and asked dr daido and he has agreed to do my surgery i go in on the 24th to get a surgery date.....i am so excited.. August 1 2001 I have only a month left until i get my surgery. I am so excited but also very scared. My freinds and family members are not very supportive of the procedure. They have horror stories to tell me and of course say you will never be able to eat anything but babyfood again. I wish I had more positive in my life right now because I am scared but I know this is what I want and need to be healthy. AUG 6th well had a very bad day today the doctor called me to tell me that he has to postpone my surgery until after thanksgiving because he is going to egypt for some training exercise......i am so dissappointed....he said he would schedule me after thanksgiving but i am scared my husband will already be in germany. We have agreed for me to stay here to get the surgery and finish college but now i am even more scared because he wont be here to help me when i have the surgery......i have no one here and feel so alone......the doctor also gave me the option of referring me off post but i dont know how long it would take for me to get a date with an off post doctor or if i would have to start over or what.......i am so dissapointed.....and really upset....hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Aug 14th 2000 Well i decided to go ahead of course to stay here and have the surgery after the doctor gets back from Eygpt....now it is probably in early december. But since my husband has orders to go to germany Dr d'addio is going to put in a request that my husband get a deferment to germany so that he wont have to leave here until after my surgery instead of having to go over there in oct and come back in a month and half.If the deferment goes through that will be my miracle i am asking for. I am really scared to be here alone and to have the surgery done and my biggest fear is them not being able to get him home for the surgery. He is my biggest supporter and knows how much i want this. I love him to death i am so glad to have such a loving husband. Aug27th 2000 well the doctor has came back from the field today so i called him to get a date. I will go in tomorrow morning at 9 am to reschedule my surgery. This week has been a very interesting one, I showed one of my good freinds this site and sat down and explained to her what the surgery was and how it was going to change my life and now she is considering the surgery-----although about less than a month ago she was umm not so sure if i should have it. It made me feel good though she finally knows what I am going through and what i need like her support. I am so excited to get another date i just wish i didnt have to wait till almost december now...darn army taking away the doctor...he has been my saving sole. My issues with my wieght lately have been really out there in the open lately and family and freinds are starting to know what it really feels like to me. I keep a journal up when i can about how i am feeling and everything and cant wait to go back a year from now and see how much i have changed. I can not wait for my new birthday!!!!! The new me to come out.... Aug28 I got a new date now it is Dec3 and i cant wait!!!! I hope the time goes by fast.. Sept 7th Well today was my original date.. I am pretty down in the dumbs today. I got more bad news. Levy called us and told us we were not on admin hold anymore so my husband would be reporting to germany Oct 20 that is only a month away so of course the doctor has wrote me a letter stating that he needs to stay here for the surgery. I will be turning that into levy on Monday now i have to pray that they will approve his deferrment. If they dont know I know I will be staying here alone. I am also very disappointed because I was suppose to take a job for my daughters school as a social worker and well now I am not so sure what to do because my husband is refusing to go to germany alone I really want to stay back for year so that i can finish my masters but he wants to be selfish or maybe i want to be selfish i am not sure and he wants me to go....My heart is breaking......I just dont want to go to the armpit of the world.....Hanau Germany....Well as for the surgery I am not giving up he knows i am staying for that so still waiting for December I want my new birthday so bad...Well got to go and finish up school work will update more later Sept 15 2001 After all that has happened in the US with the terrorist attacks all I can think about is is my husband going to have to go to war and will my surgery be postponed again. This is really a trying time and i dont want to sound selfish but with being a military wife of course comes the uncertainty of if my doctor will even be in the country in December or not because he might be fighting a war....another question boggling my mind is will my husband go....right now we have orders for germany and he has not been able to put in his deferment since all of this has happened .....they closed the post on tues and then ever since then that office has not been open I really dont want to have to do this surgery on my own but if I have to I have to .....I am in the process of securing a place for my daughter to stay while i am in the hospital if my husband is not home. All of this is really scary....but i do want to say thank you everyone for all the support you are giving me....it seems every few days i have new email from people telling me how proud they are of my decision and how they support me this really helps so THANK YOU Sept 25 2001 Well my husband is getting ready to clear this post now so he will be going to germany on oct 18th. I am really kind down in the dumps about all this since I have been trying to get him his deferment but today i took some action....I wrote the CSM of his unit and the new unit he is going to and attached my letter from my doctor. I got an awesome response back. It wasnt a couple of days for them to reply to me but just hours. I think well i am hoping that they get his deferment. As for me and how i am holding up i feel like a fat cow.....it seems nothing I do can keep the weight off, I am working now as a substitute teacher for headstart and work about 3-4 days a week but when I come home I am exhausted and take a nap..I wonder if this is not helping but hindering me in my sleep cycle. Today i took the day off because my alergies are so bad my head is all stuffy and well I just feel like doggie doooodoo....I am still looking forward to my surgery day but it seems so far away.......I know it is only 2 mons now but that seems like forever....I am just trying to keep myself busy for the time being....well will post more later OCT 20 2001 well today is my 1 year anniversery to my husband and I get to spend it ALONE..my husband is now in germany. I started a new job this week as a social worker for headstart. I sure do hope time flys....this is kinda depressing day but i will get over it...only a month and half away from surgery and i cant wait.. NOV 3 2001 well only 1 month to go now and counting those days...i finally told my boss that i would be out the whole month of december since i emailed my doctor and found out he will be returning around the 12th of this month.....i am so excited..it is finally coming close...now we are just trying to get my husband home for the surgery and that seems to be the hardest part..the army is being really hard but the doctor is working with me really well and helping me get him back home thank god i have support from my doctor. well that is about it... will post closer to my date Nov 8th well i got the call my doc is back in town i am just sooooo happy.....getting ready to call him and make a pre op appointment..wow time is flying!!!! i quit smoking for the surgery i am now a week clean lol i sound like an achololic NO really i have quit though it has been hard but now all i have to do is wait 3 more weeks these weeks i am sure are going to fly by fast. My husband will be coming home from germany at the end of the month and i have a week off for thanksgiving so i am going to go visit my family in illinois or florida not sure which ones yet...Work is great except to see these little babies go through so much. well i will be updating soon NOv 14 Got an email from my doctor yesterday and my date has to be changed again .......god i feel like i am going to scream.....but since we made the date so far in advance he didnt know if he would have the or scheduled for that week so now i am going under the knife on the 10th of december which makes this even harder because i am going to be in some pain for xmas....i wanted to go to florida but now i am going to have to see what i can do about getting my grandmother up here for xmas....i am disspointed but i guess a week aint that long to wait..... Nov 17th Well the 15th i went an saw DR D he gave me a pre-op of Dec 3rd,said it takes about all afternoon.He told me a little about the pain medication and the devices they use such as epidural, i am not sure what i am going to get but i know i am terribly frightened about the pain now that my date is getting closer, i just realized though that i was scared about the pain because i was dreaming about it. I guess our dreams really do tell us what is wrong sometimes. DR D also told me that i will be able to travel to florida right before xmas if i choose to do so as long as i get out and walk every hour and if i feel well enough to. I am still waiting on my husband to get back here from germany which is driving me crazy because my child has turned into a terror....she thinks she can do what she wants and she is only 3. Nov 19th Dr D emailed a letter over to my husbands chain of command today so hopefully they will give him a date now of when he can come home. I hope before I have preop which is on the 3rd...I want him to be there so he can talk to the anestesilogist.wow i cant spell but i am sure you all can tell what i am saying. So hopefully it will be only another week.... Dec 1 MY husband is home thank god......but now i am sick as a dog getting ready to have him take me to the er.....i am wheezing really bad....god i hope i get better i only have 9 more days....well i am going to go take a shower see if it helps...i got to get over this cold...i go see dr d on monday....i dont want him to postpone this surgery again.....well will update later Dec 3 Today is Preop.....and I am up at 3 30 am.....stomach ache...feeling better from the cold though since i went to the er on the 1 for asthma and they gave me zithromax for the cold. well went to preop and NOT GOOD NEWS>>>>> i am canceled again because i am on antiboditics....and i am wheezing.....new date will be in january....i have to wait at least 4-6 weeks after taking the antiboditics to have surgery the anestologist said....he is the one who canceled me....well i call dr d tomorrow...to get a new date....i am so bummed will this ever happen.....well will post my new date tomororw when i call dr d Dec 9 Well i am one day till my surgery was suppose to be again......of course if you read my last post i was canceled again due to illness.....and now it is january 4th 2002.....i am bummed big time this is the 3rd time.....now i am headed toward my 4th surgery date.....i am beginning to wonder if it is even worth all this bull...I am only 23 I can work it off then of course i look at my daugter and know i cant live this way anymore..This next date is the date.....I will get the surgery NO matter what even if i am sick i will lie to the anestologist...lol....NOT really but...i am really frustrated since i just had a cold and now i am pretty much feeling fine...well i only have a little over 3 weeks to wait again....so....i guess i will be ok.... DEC 13 I got a phone call at 3 am this morning from my father....my grandfather has passed away.......he had been in ICU and talked the doctor out of letting him go home last week and then ended up there again this week....I know he has been sick for a long time but I never expected this....Dad said there will probably be his funeral on saturday....He asked if I was coming.....that is such a long trip.....MY husband of course said to me see there is a reason your surgery got canceled...you wouldnt have been able to travel if you had it this week....I guess god has a plan for everything..I feel so bad I havent seen my grandfather in about 2 years.....since well he got sick.....I was just up there too is what bothers me......I Never went to see them....just didnt have enough time in my busy schedule.....god that sounds awful.....I feel kinda numb from it all I havent cried or anything.....feeling kinda guilty... Dec 14 20 more days till my surgery....time seems to be flying by pretty fast but not fast enough i am so ready for this..I have been having some problems with family and freinds about my decision but I know this is the best for me.I wish they could see it that way .. Dec 15th I am so irritable.....my husband went to help a freind move and isnt home it s 6. i cant get ahold of him....anyways what i wanted to post about is...........well i got company........i will post later Dec 19th I never did get to come back and post what was bothering me.....but before I go into that well something else is going wrong I AM STILL SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I called the doc on monday and he prescribed Biaxin 1000 mg a day for 7 days. God I hope this works so far i have been on it for 3 days and NO improvement. MY wheezing is getting worse and worse only at night though. I am praying for a miracle to get me better. I am still coughing mucus only it is white now and feel extremely tired until night time because I wheeze so much. ONLY 15 MORE DAYS TO GO I GOT TO GET BETTER!!!! I am calling again tomorrow and going in to see my PCM which I Dont have a regular doc since mine left the army so of course i will see another on call doc...I Dont care as long as they get me better I have 2 weeks and i am starting to freak. They can not postpone my surgery again and here is why my husband got signed back into his old unit this week and now they are giving him problems....GOD i hate that unit they told him he has to change all his patches around because he has germany patches like we have the money to keep changing patches...then they told us he has to be back to work on the 26 well excuse my french but HELL there goes our xmas plans .....SO change of plans again Fri nite we are leaving for Florida get there sat and leaving on Christmas day......god that sucks after having to go to midnight mass christmas eve we will be worn out!!!!!!!Then to top this off well he only has to work those 2 days and is off again the 28 till the 2nd well if the plan goes .....knowing the army they will change it last minute....My husband of course is hating this and is ready to go back to germany and tell me to have it there or without him because he cant handle the stress of that unit. That is why he reenlisted for germany in the first place to get away from 317 engineer bat. So now for the other thing that is bugging me....I have this freind...and well she is pretty negative about the surgery and i hate it....but to top that off...I have sent her this site and let her read what I have been writing....NOW i know this site it is for everyones viewing but here is what happened there is a person I have been chatting on aol with for about a year and i never told this person I am overwieght or having surgery because I didnt find it their business. Now if the person knew my name or came across the site then yea they woule be able to read this but I guess I just didnt want this person to know but My freind took it upon herself to show the other person the site. Only way I knew was because the person Instant Messaged me and asked me about the surgery.....I felt betrayed...Should I feel betrayed.. I mean i am writing this so everyone that checks out my page will know what I am going through but I never thought well this person would know...am I making any sense at all??? I guess her negativity has just gotten to me, and if she reads this well I hope she knows how I feel because I never tell anyone, i know big mistake then u get walked on and all of that good junk. Well as for some good news I brought my mom in the chat room tonight she is AKA- garimiller well she has never been a chat room but she did like the chat room and she got to tell her story about her vertical banding with bypass, she had it done 18 years ago and never went back to the doctor. Anyways I think she can tell how I feel and is going to be supportive so for all my chat buddies thanks so much. Dec 23 2001 I am in Florida now for xmas and getting closer to my date.Not even 2 more weeks away I am still wheezing but good news is usually only happens now when at night so hopefully i wont be wheezing at preop. Preop is one week from wendsday. Well today we went to the beach. got to see the lifeguards try to catch a shark.HOW exciting for my little girl...I felt so out of place..big and fat on the beach just dont fit in....but just kept thinking to myself only a few more weeks...Well I come home the 26th and will post more. Dec 25 Went to midnight mass this morning...and now am still up. Just thinking about only 9 more days still surgery..I cant wait I am getting more excited everyday...well we are leaving back for home today just wanted to post a quick Merry Christmas!!! Dec 28 Getting closer 6 more days to go.....I am so excited but god i am wheezing so bad.....I have found out that I am allergic to something in my house. While I was in florida I hardly wheezed..but now that i am back it is awful. Today we are going to clean the house really good and bleach everything.I called my doctor and told him about the wheezing and not coughing up anything so he said we are a GO!!!!! good news for my husband to he finally is attached to a new unit until my surgery is done and over with and i am ready to go to germany!!! January 5 Hello everyone, Anastasia wanted me to update her page, she had her surgery yesterday and is recovering just fine. I went and visited with her at the hospital to day. Her surgery was yesterday, boy was she nervous. She is in ICU till Monday when they will move her to a different floor. As of right now she hasn't had anything to eat or drink, she really doesn't want to eat but said she would kill for a drink!!! This morning she was sitting up in a chair, went walking down the hospital hallway. She is loving the morphine pump right about now. I'm am so proud of Anastasia for sticking to her guns and going after what she really wanted. It was hard but she did it. Now the only counting she has to do is the the counting of the pounds she will shed!! I will update this as often as she would like me to and I will also take your comments to her so she will have some good reading! Jan 17th 2 weeks post op wow long time to spend in a hosptial.....right nowi am down 14 pds...but what a price to pay...first of all .....errrrr i have to sit down and write this again since it didnt save the last time and earsed.....but here goes....day one my lung collapsed in ICU......they had to take me off the morphine because when i went to sleep i would sleep so soundly that I would stop breatheing......so it was like that for the first 2 days the 3rd day i got moved to floor 6 where i was ok but extremelely thristy......the next mornning i was given water......then i was given there special liquid diet LOL.....yeah right special alright it was all full of high sugar foods like apple juice, sprite, jello, beef bullion, tea, coffee, and more jello......well that day i ate half a cup of jello and drank about an ounce of juice and the intern said i could go home so he DCed my Iv and let me go take a shower......god that felt heavenily but sooooo tiring....after i got out i started gettting nausisous but of course though that would pass.....but it didnt i puked up everything......so they said well we have to keep you.....the next morning i was doing the same thing and so they decided to go give me a upper GI barium test......which they didnt think would go since i was puking up everything in my path......they gave me the test and found it was moving too slow so they sent me back to my room to wait for an hour and then checked me again it still hadnt passed so 2 my room again for another 2 hrs......then down again to the xray......it was still in my intestines so......they said bring her back in the morning....they thought i could possibly have a blockage.....so the next morning I went down and found that the barium was in my small bowel so now they thnought i just have really slow to wake up intestines......so they put me on observations........that day i got my staples out but since i was puking so hard i was making my incision leak......the next day he decided to open me up and let me heal that way......so now i have this huge whole in my stomach and if it gets touched i puke..........then another week of observations until tues the 15th.......that is when they had to put in the cental line IV to feed me........god that was a the most horriffic pain i have ever in my life felt......he tried to put it in my chest where they ususaly get them in but he couldnt get it in and i screamed in pain and scared because of couse he told me if i moved he could punchure my lung......so after unsucessfully trying there i finally got it put in my grownin.......that was a bad place because everytime my legs rubbed together it would pinch.........i was so scared of pulling it out and having to have them put it back .......so on the 16th i got my fluids from T P I N.....one looks like mt dew and the other milk......they had to keep checking my blood sugar as this can make ur sugar go up......one time the dumb nurse took it from my leg and got my blood sugar level at 700 and gave me insulin......god i am suprised i aint dead........so anyways on top of all that i was constantly givin reglan for my stomach pheregran and morphine when neeeded.....today is the first day i havent thrown up in 2 weeks but let me tell u i have been extremely nausious and terrified of having to go back for dinner tonight i had egg drop soup.....which the doc said is really good in protein which i need right now.......as for weight loss i have lost 13 pds putting me down to 262. alot to go through just to lose 13 pds you would think as much as i threw up it would have been a whole lot more......as for my thoughs now about surgery......YEs i am on the other side but I wish I would have checked out complications a whole more........my doctor said i am the first he has had for complications like this but I really had no clue about what this would do to me emotionally and psychically...I cried in the hospital .....I wanted out so bad i thought i was in prision......the wanted me up at the crack of dawn to walk and to bed at the crack of nite......and then they wanted to come bug me all the time........i was soo cranky and still am.....so i am off to bed good nite Jan 21 I have been having computer problems so i aint been able to update my page........i have so far lost 20 pds.......down to 255...but with alot of hassle too........i still throw up alot.....i am nasueated all the time.......i have this huge hole in my stomach......because i am healing from the inside out and well that makes me even more sick to look at it.....i am eating cottage cheese about one tsp full a day and drinking lots of water......drinking some decaf tea and lemonade but something is making me sick......last night i had about an ounce of mashed potatoes that had spices in them and well i barfed them up.....i dont feel normal.......i feel so awful.....i wish i could go back....not 20 pds heavier but with a stomach.....i regret my decision everyday........I hope it gets better....this really sucks to feel awful everyday.... oh yeah and i cant take my meds because i throw them up too.......i have to go see the doc for him to change my bandages today and i am going to tell him.......but i am sure he will just say it is another complication and i have to give it time.......i am at week 3 i thought i would feel better before my birthday on friday....i guess i was wrong jan 22 went to the doc......feeling much better.....got on his scales and guess what i am down to 249.5 that means 25.5 pounds gone since jan 4 which is only 18 days....wow......still naustious but not as much..still trying to get in the water.....which is really hard for me to drink.....along with eating i never feel hungry..until my tummy growls and reminds me ,..... Jan 25 yesterday was the worst day of my life......i threw up to the smell of aftershave........and i threw up water...my stomach was very nauseated....i slept most the day,.....i did however on the 23rd start eating some deli chicken and turkey me and my husband went to the commissary and he was hungry so he got a foot long sub and gave me a slice of the meat which i only ate a 1/3 but was full and watched my husband hog down the rest of the sandwich which made me kinda sick to think i could eat that just a month ago....for dinner that night i ate a very thin slice of chicken....that was my day of eating....then yesterday i ate chicken noodle soup and 1 tsp of cottage cheese and that was it.....i coudlnt drink much either everything made me nauseated.....i am trying to day to drink more since i had the dumps yesterday and dont want to get dyhydrated....this surgery i would have to say is not for me.....i am sick of feeling tired and puking .......i am learning to live with it and hope it gets better. I go back the the doc on the 4th of feb...i weighed 2 days ago at 248.2 havent got back on the scales since mine are off and weigh me more..i am sure i am down about 2 more pds...the weight loss is nice i just want my energy back!!!!!!!!!!!oh and i want the hole in stomach gone.(i am .healing from the inside out)...the tape i was having an allergic reaction to so hubby had to go find some paper tape and found these huge bandages they are working for now..doc says the hole should be closed within 2 weeks.....iam still not taking any pain med i am too afraid of throwing up....and i was in pain yesterday it really hurt my incision throwing up... Jan 26 For my birthday yesterday i ate hamburger......today i am down another couple pounds making it 32.5 pds i have lost.....i am 242.5 weighed myself at a freinds house on her scales since my scales were saying i hadnt lost a thing but gained....I need new scales.......ofcourse i got asked if i regret this and told i could have done it on my own if i just ate like i am now....I said umm I would have starved.....today i havent felt much hunger..i ate 1 tsp of cottage cheese and a few bites of hamburger again ......I did puke a little right after i got out of a hot bath...I think it is because i had just ate......Big problem I am having now is when i go walking sometimes i get really dizzy to the point i feel like i am going to pass out...it is kinda scarey as i was in the store tonight getting fish and cottage cheese i really felt like i was going to pass out......this is something i am going to have to bring up to the doc when I go back on the 4th.. jan 27 milk is a no no..........had some carnation instant breakfast this the second time i have tried to drink that stuff and threw up so......no CIB...cooked fish today......my daughter loves it and i hate it.....so i ate 1 tsp of mashed potatoes.....i have 1 half slice of turkey(deli meat) 2-3 teaspoons of cottage cheese and not enough water..that was my whole day of eating.....I know i am not getting enough protien and all that good junk.....it is so hard...i am not hungry....I have been depressed....start to cry at the drop of a hat....cant wait till the 4th that is when i am going to ask the doc if i can go back on the meds..dont want to start without asking because pills make me puke.oh yeah one more thing before i go my holes are healing the top one is just about closed but last night i woke up itching my rear off......i was scratching the holes......i had to stop myself before i made it bleed...i put hydrocortosone on it but that didnt help...nothing helps it itches so bad wish i could take benedryll but i am allergic to it jan 29 percocet was my best freind last night.....i finally got to take it without having to puke it up......i have been hurting really bad lately i guess it is the muscles reattaching..i had to take something i didnt care if i threw up i was hurting so bad.....had a bad expereince last night i was cooking and dropped butter on the floor and starting bawling like a baby and saying i cant do anything right.......my emotions are whacko....and well my marriage is up and down....i sure hope things get better....well i am awake nasueated.....dont even know why i aint ate in 2 hrs or so.....I cant stand this.,..I am so tired today slept most the day and now well sick .......goes this ever get better????????? what did i do to myself......i sure hope i dont feel like this a couple mos post.....i wouldnt know what to do with myself Jan 30 today i have been extremely tired again.....i am coughing and think i am getting a cold....probably from not walking so tonight i made my husband take me to walmart so i could walk....and get some stuff while in there about 3 mins into it i got dizzy again and started sweating .,..this is scarey......today for food i ate 3tsp of cottage cheese....1 egg....1/2 of a weight watchers fudge brownie bar..2 tsp of mashed pototoes and 1/2 tsp of stuffing...and about 20 oz of water still trying to up that water intake but it is hard i would have to drink all day long.....my incision the top hole is almost healed shut and the bottom is leaking alot now.....hopefully be closed in a week..this is not fun.....i hate being sick.....i hate hurting....no one told me how i feel...I wish i had had lap maybe i wouldnt hurt so much....or manybe i just wish i hadnt done this at all......i dont know..... Jan 31 Went to a supposed support group this morning...it was a nutrition class and the people there only one had ever heard of the surgery.....that was not helpful......and i told the LT that....i said i need people to talk with that have had this surgery.......I am having complications and want someone else around that is post op.....as for some good news........I am down 40 pds now.....weighed myself on the scale and i am 236.4....that made me happy.......but that is alot to sacrifice for all that i had went through...oh one more bad thing happened today my daycare cant keep my daughter since she aint a regular they had to replace her and the state is doing their yearly inspection...so now i have to take her to the doc appts with me and everything.....how nice.only other thing affecting me was when i walk i get dizzy and my stupid husband left me at the hopstial i walked up the stairs and wanted to cry because of the way i felt..dizzy Feb 3rd well my best freind has found me a support group out in columbus our first meetting is on feb 19th at 6 pm but some of the girls from the group are getting together to meet me and help right now..which is so great my freind who was kinda negative found the group i think she wants to help now which i love her so much.....she is like a mother to me and it helps to have her on my side helping..As for how i am doing i have a horrible cold and so does my little girl....everytime i cough up plegm i puke or gag...which is making me where i dont want to eat....i called my primary doc on friday and all he gave me was some meds to not cough....well i thought it was best to cough to get the junk out my chest.....I go back to my surgeon tomorrow so i am going to ask him....I wish he was a primary care doc he seems more confident than these stupid other docs out here at martin army ...so anyways i am still trying to get in all my water but still not because of the puking when coughing....well we went to burger king last night to take my daughter......first time in a restuarant if that is what u want to call it.....i call it a greeze factory.....i decidied to take a bite of my daughters hamburger it dripped of grease so i ate one bite and said no more...that is nasty......it is kinda wierd how i never noticed it before but now i look at food so carefully before i put it in my mouth..... feb 4 went to the doc today.......asked him about leaving for germany told me i can if i want to but ineed to find a good internal medicine doc and not a family practice doc....but......i told him i am not leaving until i am healthy and able to do things on my own i am not changing docs in the middle this.......my hsuband will go back to germany on mar 1...Doc says my incision looks great just wasnt sure what has hemoraged out of it..most likey fat tissue so he left it in there....good news i lost 42pds in one month.......now just to get my energy back up.......doc said might have to start taking B-12 shots once a month if it dont come up one more thing i am dehydrated .........i am not drinking enough he is giving me till next week to get in all my fluids but i think i will probably go back in this week and get an iv i cant stand this feeling.....i am only drinking about 30 oz and since i am sick well i am not even drinking that......i am forcing myself to drink......i have drank 24 oz maybe today.......and the other doc put me on sudafed to clear my head which makes you more dehydrated............this is pure hell........i want to be better i want to feel better.............. Feb 10 6 days since i last posted......i have still been sick with a cold...everyone is sick.......so i have been throwing up alot and well not throwing up food but plegm..that is really hard when it gets in your pouch your pouch just cant take it and well that is what happens....some other things.......I started eating beef jerky this week.....it is to die for.....it is high in protien and pretty easy to eat as long as you chew chew chew......then we went to captain ds on friday and that was gross i got a meal that could feed me for days.....but i had broiled shrimp......now i like battered shrimp but this stuff was nasty.....so i ate some chicken of my husbands which was fried but i pulled the breading off.....and ate 1/2 of my potato.....one thing i learned this week............NEVER LET MYSELF GET HUNGRY HUNGRY........what i did was stupid i got really hungry so got a hunk of cheese.....probably 2 ounces......remember though i have a 1 ounce pouch......well i ate it........i didnt throw it up but i got hot flashes......got really sweaty and then proceeded to gag and gag and throw up saliva.....i had to lay down......so one learning experience down...laughing at myself now......one other thing that has happened this week is i got to eat pizza today.........i took off all the peperoni which is nasty......and ate the cheese and some bread.....half a slice of pizza it tasted so good ........the slice though was very thin so i didnt exceed my pouch and it stayed down and didnt make me sick........tomorrow........i go meet some of the women of the support group here in columbus we are going to ocharlies a restaurant to eat.......i think i am finally getting the hang of the surgery.....and my stomach is feeling a little better....i am 5 weeks now so hopefully things are looking up......as for my incision the top opening is healed shut and the bottom is closing quickly it should be closed in a week or so thank god....it is so ugly looking......one more thing i had to deal with this week is people asking me about the surgery and how it works and well getting told they cant tell if i have lost but that was from a man and men dont look unless they want u lol......so that was fun answering what i could and listening to what they thought of it........i go back to the doc on thurs the 14th to get weighed and check my nutrition levels....cant wait for that weigh in hopefully i am now around 225......that would be 7 pds since last monday......i should have lost that by now but i will know soon...... Feb 16th well doctors visit went fine.....i didnt lose what i thought......i wieghed 231..that is a loss of 44pds today i wieghed myself and 2 more pouds where gone.....so 46pds although i have been teatering back and forth between 231 and 229.,..water weight......at the docs he got blood work on me to see how i was doing i guess i will know the results of that soon....said i will probably need b-12...on another note we discussed the surgery again i had to ask him if i had a 2nd stomach like most post ops i have met on here......and no i had a resectional gastric bypass where they take the whole stomach and throw it in the bucket...said there are benifits from not leaving the stomach in....husband leaves very soon and I am going to florida so that we can move out of here..our reality company is wanting us out because i had to call the health department on them because i was getting sick and no explanation.....well now we know the furnace fluke was leaking co2 in the house and i might have co2 poisioning...so anyways i will be moving to germany in march at 2 mons post op......doctor said he would release me and i should be fine over there just see a doc every couple of months to get blood levels checked..... Feb 20 Transportation is coming to get all my stuff on friday....this move is coming so soon.......tonight i went to the wls meeting....met some great people we figured out between 8 of us we have lost 770 pds....it was great to meet more posties......today though has not been the greatest day.......i have been sick........throwing up sick and dumps......what i got sick on was cream cheese and crackers the first time around 4pm then we went out to eat and i had chicken fingers and a potato.......i got sick again at the meeting.....then tonight i craved milk..........wrong thing to drink i drank about 4oz and now i have the dumps they are keeping me up all nite.....funny thing is i can have things that have milk in them like cottage cheese......i hate feeling ewwy........oh well oh one more thing down to 227....that is 48 pds gone in 6 weeks....yeah me!!!!!! Feb 21 i had to update today.....50 pds gone forever!!!!! i am 225....and 6 wks po..... March 4th well i am now 8 weeks po and no weight loss since the 21st...I am down in florida awaiting my plane ticket to germany. I am very stressed about everything and wonder if that is causing me not to lose....i know i have been feeling very hungry all the time and know that it is just my nerves....i have been trying to avoid eating when i know it is head hunger...I have been in florida since Feb 26th and well lets just say it has been an experience.... Mar6th well as of Mar 10 i will be in germany....our flight leaves at 535 on sunday....i am so excited.....got to try new food tonight....we went for chinese and i got sick..but i found out i do like shrimp but it has to have cocktail sauce with it.... Mar 24 I am now in germany.it sucks I wont have my furniture for like 2 mos but the good news is i am now down to 215...although i am very stressed and want to eat all the time......this is a big time problem for me because well i want junk food pizza and stuff like that.....i have however learned my lessons about fast food we have been going out to like burger king, popeyes, chineese and someother american place and most everything has made me dump.throw up or worse............the doctor over here knows nothing about the surgery which is really hard and i guess i will have to be educating him about it when i go.....I start the masters program again in a week.....and am looking for ajob now. My only problem now is what to do with the stress and not to eat..........i gave up smoking and cant drink and calling freinds is so hard to do with the time difference i need to find something........well will post when i can as i do not have a computer right now Mar 30th Well being in germany isnt the greatest thing but i am surviving... i am 214 pds and depressed and losing hair....I had to go back today and get back on antidepressants. As for losing hair i am not too concerned because well i have enough for about 3 adults.....i am still eating pretty funky because well the food here is so differnt that i dont have my cottage cheese that i love..and crystal lite caffiene tea they dont have......well i guess things will get better. MAR 31st Happy easter to me I am 212.... April 8th Today i got on the scales and i wiegh 208...i am feeling better everyday and full of energy and have started school which makes me feel like i am doing something in life again and I am volunteering at ACS and then have a job in may for a lady who will go on maternity leave I hope to have a permanent job after that. April 17th Weight seems to get slower and slower but it is nice to drop pounds still i am eating normal but some days dont feel like eating at all....I have my household goods now so i am busy putting my house back together. April 29th well up and down like a yoyo my weight has been from 210 to 209 for the last 3 weeks but now i am 207 and starting a support group in the hanau area at army community service. May 2nd today i am 204 3 pounds dropped in 2 days that is what i love about this surgery.71 pds gone now at 4 months po...well yesterday meet LTC Humphrey and i am scheduling a meeting with him about getting us post op women on EFMP because we need medical care by a qualified doctor that knows about this surgery when we PCS after surgery I came here only to find that the doctor doesnt know about the surgery and the only one that does know is leaving in july. I have also been assigned to this other doctor so i cant see the one who knows about the surgery unless well i somehow get lucky that day and my doc is out of the office. I did get to see her last week and she ran 9 blood tests that my doctor failed to know that i needed. Thank god for someone knowealable.The support group i am still trying to get underway i have to tallk to my supervisor on getting it approved from the 414bsb. May 12 One more pound lost ............weight 203.........well i am doing pretty good except extremely tired all the time......they did a mebolic study on me and found i have low hgb but still with in the rage on the hemotocrit.........so he drew more blood to check my b12....i cant handle being tired all the time i am fine as long as i am doing something but as soon as i stop i am dead tired.......this week however i did get to see the LTC of the clinic and he passed it that now anyone who has the surgery is EFMP enrollable so that if we PCS we can have the care we need.......also my support group is underway it starts the 28th of this month and every last tuesday of the following months......at 630 pm at the Army Community Service Center on PIoneer in Hanau.......one more thing accomplished i am starting with the support group a clothing exchange i am losing slowly but starting to not fit in the clothes i have and the ones given to me are still too small......size 18 fit but some are loose and 16s are way too small May 21 2002 well still holding out at 203 god i wish i would lose some more..........I have started walking down to my daughters daycare after work which is only a couple of blocks but more than i used to hopefully i can stick to it.........as for the support group i have got lots of calls of interested people to come I cant wait to meet them all. May 23 One more pound gone.......202!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one three more pounds and i am under 200 something i aint been in over 3 years that feels great!!!!!!!! May 25 One more pound gone again......201 i am getting there and feel so much better......yesterday i had a bad day at work so one of my coworkers came over and we walked about a mile to go to the bar-lol 2 wine coolers and i was buzzing bad...but i guess that walk did me some good.......i have 2 more pounds to go until under 200.....i am eating good craving salad all the time now.....had to go the pizza place down the street last ngiht just to get a fresh salad because we havent went to the markplatz this weekend yet i am going today to get fresh vegs for salad.......my husband is calling me a rabbit but it is just so good and i dont get sick. oh did have a expereince yesterday i forgot to eat all day because i was upset and well i guess just was not hungry so when i went out with my freind well she ordered french fries.........i ate about well less than 10 with in 30 mins i was dumping........talk about never eating french fries again lol.....that was my first experience really with fried food and UCK!!!!!!!!! fried food taste nasty and it makes me sick.........wow 5 months ago you wouldnt have heard that out of my mouth...eating has changed so much. life has changed so much my self esteem is going up and my marriage goes down my husband is jealous of others looking at me. i am the smallest i have been for over 3 years and it feels great even at 201 pounds......I am so glad i have a new life thanks to my doctor and my new found tool!!!!!!!!! May 27th well down either one or 3 more pounds dont know which scale is right my scale at home which i have been using forever says i am at 200 now but last night we went to a freinds house and it said 198 i think i like her scale better than mine i havent had a weight of under 200 pounds for over three years. I had both my husband and her come look so i could make sure i wasnt seeing things. I got on and off the scale about 10 different times and it kept weighing me at 198. you know that feels wonderful!!!!!!! at 198 i have lost 77 pounds in 4 months and 3 weeks, that means i only have 68 more pounds to go till goal.....i have got to start walking more because i think the walking has really helped and oh i started taking alot of vitamins-biotin, folic acid, b-12 sublinguals, calcium, iron, a multi vitamin. the doctor finally putting me on prenatal vitamins which i have to go pick up this week because my b-12 and iron are down. Unfortuantely for me i had just went out and purchased all the above vitamins oh well it will keep me stocked up for awhile. June 3 2002 well my scale finally says i am under 200 pounds it says 199 so i am so happy since my scale was weighing me heavier last week than my freinds. This weekend i have been feeling like i am starving. All day long i wont be hungry and then around 6 i want to eat and of course i eat very small meals so then i am hungry again 2 hours later. this is a weird feeling and i feel like i am eating all the time. I wonder what is going on with me. If it is stress or just my body saying eat more. I have been using this website to count the calories and see how much protein and carbs i have been getting . my calorie count a day is about 650. my protein count is not high enough it is usually around 30 and my carbs are like 40 so i am going to have to change some eating habits. June 10 I am now 198-197. this weekend i partied all weekend long. I have been drinking too much. i feel like a new person but i am not sure why i feel like on the weekends i have to drink.I think it is because of being depressed my husband and I are not getting along most the time and he is extremely jealous. I feel like i have a leash on. i am smaller than when i married him and i just think he aint used to it..our marriage is failing..........i want to fix it June 12 today i weigh 196 the weight is dropping again it is nice........i love to get off plateau's but i am sure it will stop again............but as of today i have lost 79 pounds in 5 months. June 16th 80 pounds gone forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 195 today and i am feeling so much better..........i am starting to fit into clothes I never thought i would be back into........ June 20th i have been feeling so crazy this week....everything i eat i get sick either diarahea or i have sereve gas......it is embarrassing and well dont smell too pleasant...I havent been eating anything out of the ordinary so i dont know why all the sudden i am getting sick i guess it is just something i have to live with. My husband and I are doing ok...except he is really jealous. I guess he is having problems accepting that i am getting littler everyday...I love it .......I am wearing size L shirts and I even put on a dress today that my grandmother gave me and 2 weeks ago it wouldnt go over my hips and now it fits....I am so happy.........I still have this tummy that dont seem to disappear i am pretty sure that by the time i am 1 year i will have to have a tummy tuck and my arms done I want to have a boob job too i want them lifted they are still big i was a 42dd and now i am a 36d so they are good but sagging......I never knew i could feel good about myself again....one other thing happened last weekend that i havent posted...we were going out to the club on saturday nite and i couldnt find any clothes to fit i had on a top that fit perfect but i couldnt find any jeans to go with it i had my size 18 jeans on they are way too baggy and then i put some mens jeans on that were 36'30' and well they were big but when i put on the other jeans i had which were mens jeans too 34'30' well they were too tight i wanted to cry i was upset and so depressed I felt awful.........and i had no clue why i mean why should i be unhappy about clothes being too big I know it is time for me to get out and buy some new clothes but since moving to germany we have been tight on money and i havent really went out and bought much I think 1 pair of jeans that were 20's when i got here and 1 dress that is a Size L I never dreamed of what an emotional rollar coaster i would be on. Sometimes it is very hard to deal with i am still very sensitive about my weight even thought i am 80 pounds smaller i mean i still see the fat person in the mirror.......my self image really sucks i have got to work on my self estem June 24th well 5 mons and 20 days post op and i am down to 192. i am losing fast this month.........i guess it is because we have been getting out and doing things.......I have been going to the beach and even bought myself a tankini.......a size 14 i coudlnt believe it. June 30 today i weigh 190 and yesterday bought jeans in girls section a size 14 and some shorts in the teens that was 15-16..........everything is fitting but my stomach is big still and lot of skin is hanging ............i am almost 6 mons out and well i am ready for my tummy tuck i am ready for my year to be done with so i can go to tricare and say i want it done now........ JUly 8th last week went to the doctor i have been getting sick everytime i eat.........either it is this queazy feeling sometimes i throw up anwyays the doctor put me on reglan i havent taken it because i dont feel bad enough to take medicine but he said if i get worse he will have to send me to a gastroenlogist and that is in landstudl which is 2 hours away from here.....he said they would probably scope me to see what is wrong because he felt for a blockage and i have no blockage...this is weird i mean somedays i am sick and others i am fine i am wondering if it aint a stomach virus but i am also sooooooooooooo sleepy........i had him run labs but they wont be back until 2 weeks from now i feel like i am going to sleep my life away......well as for the weight i am down 2 more pounds.....188......feeling good wishing i could have the 68 pounds gone well that would put me at 120 my goal from my doc is 130 so 58 pounds to go...........i have lost a total of 87. July 21 Long time since i posted but i went to the doctor and they said my protien levels are so bad.....so i started drinking whey protein shakes once a day......some unfortunate things have happened to me in the past week so i have been really depressed but today i weighed myself and i am not 186.....89 pounds gone forever...... Aug 1 2002 well it has been 2 weeks since i lost any wieght but today i got on the scale and had lost another pound........so finally 90 pounds gone forever and i am almost 7 months post op.......i had my meeting this week with my post ops and they are just 2 weeks out and eating everything everything under the sun.........one girl said she went to chi chis and ate a chicken enclilda........only a couple of bites but i just wonder how sucussful she will be and the fact that she is still healing and eating these foods......not good.....but that is just my opinion........the one good thing about these girls are they aint sick like i was and have been......our next meeting is the last tues of aug.......we have one more girl who is having it done this month that makes 4 out of our group.......plus me and another post op..........things in germany are ok........i am still looking for a job again.......since i didnt get the EFMP job but oh well.......... Aug 6th one more pound today it is going slow this month but i am getting there........184.......only 54 more to go....... aug 8th one more pound today.......maybe i am off my platau.....i am eating alot more protein or at least trying to.......183....53 more to go!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aug 9th one more pound today 182.....and i started my period.........how nasty but i did get good news this morning i am getting referred for a job........as a director of child and youth services.........god i hope i get this.......i need soemthing so bad........ Aug 27th long time since i posted because i havent lost any weight..yesterday i lost one more pound........this month i havent been losing much at all........but i guess when i look back on my diary here i have lost a total of 5 pounds this month which is good.I have a wls meeting tonight. i heard one of our girls aint going good...i feel sorry for her. but i did tell people about the complications and what i had to suffer from. this weekend i cleaned out my closet i am takingn alot of my clothes to the alteration shop to have them sized down from 20 for a 14. and the ones that couldnt be takin in well i am going to be getting rid of them.,..my clothes is half empty but we did go buy me an outfit this weekend from tommy hilfiger size 14 jeans and a xl sweater my boobs are still big.......i am looking forward to my year out so i can go have a boob job and a tummy tuck and my arms done........ Aug 30th TWO more pound gone 96 pounds gone.......cant wait for another 4 then i will be at my 100 mark......and finally for once i am less than my husband.(179) Sept 8th scale has been teetering back and forth from 181 to 179 but this morning finally said 178. i am kind of depressed the rapid weight loss is gone now and it is going slow. when i was 275 i thought i would be happy at this weight but now i just want to get to goal, maybe having a goal wasnt so great. my stomach is not going away and this is a real problem for me i am very self consious about my stomach i can wear large shirts but if they are tight at the bottom they show my protruding stomach i want a tummy tuck now......i am only 8 months but i am afraid the losing is over. maybe i am crazy i have more self confidence but i am so digusted with my stomach around the incision site. Sept 12 one more pound closer to 100 pounds lost (177)total of 98 pounds lost at 8 months. it is so slow i want to be at goal by now i am so impatient. sept 16 one more pound gone 99 pounds lost (176).......well that was before i have had the worst dumping syndrome that i have had in a long time now i am 174.....101 pounds gone!!!!!!!!!! Sept 26 well today got great news my appointment for my breast reduction is nov 21 after the appointment then i get to know my surgery date. i am very scared as i have heard that it hurts really bad but my breast are saggy and still 34dd which i manage to squeeze into a 34d.....another thing that happened today is i bought my first pair of 12 jeans......wow it feels great Oct 15th Wow after almost 30 days of no weight loss i was loosing my mind because after the day i hit 174 well i went back up to 176......but today i am back down to 174. For almost 2 weeks i have had a period and it finally stoped just yesterday so maybe that was the reason for no weight loss, I hate it when i have no weight loss because then i think i am failing at WLS, i guess it always goes back to that mind set that i will always be fat, god i still look in the mirror and see that fat person, when I look i dont see the good like no more huge fat rolls or huge breast but i see what needs to see go away like my tummy- which i plan on having a tummytuck and my arms are sagging where i have loose skin and my legs where there is lose skin.....you know others dont see this but i do, i mean i was told the other night if i wanted to a stripper i could so i could make the money for my surgery but of course i was no way i have too much sagging skin and then when me and husband went out on the ecomony to a fair my husband said i had lots of men looking at me as i walked by he said alot of them turned around just to look at me again. I never noticed this, Wow that is very differnt i am not use to being looked at in a good sense before it was people looking because i was fat and feeling sorry for me or just thinking i ate too much. Dealing with a new body is very different. Oct 18th one more pound lost but will gain it back when i drink something today..i had the awfulless night last night.i ate some chicken and brocili and i dont think i chewed it well because i got this awful feeling in my stomach it hurt so bad i have never felt that way before it made me end up puking 5 times but nothing heavy came up and today i still hurt but not as bad i have been sleeping all day i am only up right now to get my daughter from school then i am going back to bed.....i am so gasy from this and hurt right in the incision. I am going back to the doc oon the 25th of oct to have her see if i have a hernia or just alot of scar tissue under my incision because it has been bothering me alot lately. Oct 19th Well couldnt stand the pain anymore so went to the doctor on a walk in basis and she agreed to see me she isnt sure if i have a blockage but had me have xrays and found i was literally full of crap........i was so constipated that she cant see if i have a blockage so she gave me some meds and said if i still feel pain this weekend to go to the german hospital which means they will scope me well i am still feeling bloated but not as much after taking all the meds, let me tell you that is something that is not fun...but good news lost another pound 172! getting closer to goal. Oct 21 One more pound gone 171 but was at the hospital again last night seems i am not defecating and well they want to admit me but i wont let them so i am using enemas and laxatives hoping i will get better. husband and my relationship is not well.....he cheated........they say after wls divorce rate is high now i know why.....he says i have totally changed as a person since wls. Oct 27 one more pound today.......well since i went the hospital i am much better......all i had to do was enema's for a week and then eat chili.....that gave me a way to .GO......but my doctor had called me on tues of last week to tell me that the xrays had been read and i didnt have to worry about a blockage because there was none i just was not going....so that was a worry out of the way, me and my husband have started counseling and we are trying to work things out but he says i have changed so much since surgery and i do not see it but then again he was not with me when i was thin before. he only knew the heavy me that was depressed all time never flirted never felt good, anyways he is very jealous of all the attention from men i get and the thing is though is i dont realize that i get that attention. he says i am very flirty but i dont think i have changed the way i talk to men.....he says i carry myself in a whole differnt way now like i know i am pretty and am going to use it but i still feel like that 275 pound person..that is something that is really hard to get rid of that feeling that i am not that big anymore. one more thing that happened to me last night my husband and i went to a bazaar that the army was having.....we were looking at stuff and i hear hey chase my husbands last name...he says hi and i turn around and it was my old freind who i havent spoke to since july when we got into a fight about stupid stuff......well when i turned around she looked at me and said oh my god anastasia........mouth dropped right open she was like look at you u are so skinny.......i didnt reconize you...that made me feel so good........to hear you are so skinny i cant believe that is you and one other thing i just had to laugh because she is pregnant and she is a tiny thing like weighed 100 pounds now she is a tall as she is big around and is only 5 months pregnant..i want to say revenge is so sweet but it sounds awful but i guess that is the best way to put it. Nov 4th 2002 well officially at 10 mons out and no weight loss since the 28 but gained a pound so still weighing at 171....itis getting harder and harder to lose weight and i am so stressed....school my marriage my relationships with people......i am really having to evalute my life and where it is going or should i say not going.....and being at a platuea again is not helping....i just want this last 40 pounds gone....i feel like i am failing again............like i am going to get fat again and god can you say depressed.....i hate germany i hate my life here......and well i dont like how i feel right now..my doctor gave me a consult for a tt last friday i faxed itover to the states ..........well i got a reply from one of the places saying i am out of region so they cant do anything for me...i want a tt so bad just like i want my boobs lifted....i have a consult on the 12th one week from today. hopefully they will do the breast reduction by the end of the month because i have to fly back to the states in December for school........that has me really stressed because of how much money it is going to cost and having to leave my daughter here. Nov 14 2002 Finally another pound gone 169...went to the boob doc tues and have to go back next tues to talk to the real surgeon but he said they will probably take less than a pound and i asked if they will take the fat under the arm i have to ask about that but if they wont i want another doctor that is what bothers me the most. anyways off to my meeting will update more later Nov 17 one more pound gone i guess i am off my plateau for awhile......i am so ready to lose the 38 pounds to be to goal...168 goal is 130. Nov 20 One more pound lost now at 167 total of 108 pounds gone. I have been really stressed lately and it is making it hard to eat without getting sick......i am hungry but dont even want to eat because afraid i will get sick and i know it is all stress related....damn army it is all their fault........I was raped and now my husbands commander is saying he lied about it so they are going back into the case and looking for any info to prove he lied i feel like i am being raped all over again. I am serverly depressed and feel like utter shit....i jsut want to sleep all i do when i get up is think about this crap going on and then start crying. I need out of germany. this whole experience has been the worst one i have had......my weight is coming off i feel good about that but then this situtation it just counteracts everything else...... Dec 2nd One more day and i will be back in the states for a month and half... I lost one more pound today putting me at 166. last night i had a bad night i ate tomato soup and threw it all up and still am not sure why and today i ate it again and then dumped on it so no tomato soup for awhile. Dec 13 well i am home and it is been an interesting experience since i have been here, my family well eat totally different than me well i should say they eat like i did before.although i have been holding my ground and eating the same as i have been but it seems i am eating less.i have been cooking almost every nite and have went out to eat 3 times now and ate good foods. howver yesterday i slipped and ate 4 piece of chocolate and 4 spoons of a blizzard from dairy queen i felt so bad.....but i started my period so i guess that was the re
