An_Lmytime2015
I have been an overweight adult all my life. Going back and forth with every weight loss plan (good and bad) out there. I swear I have lost and gained the same 60-90 lbs. over and over. I was an athletic kid, very popular and involved in everything as I was growing up. Never had a problem with weight. I do remember my mom making a comment about a beautiful girl that was waiting on us that "you could look like that if you were thinner"....I was 5'6" and 110 lbs at the time. That made a huge impression on me....not to blame my mom, definitely not! I had a lot of attention from the opposite sex all throughout HS, college, young adult life. My dad would say angrily when I was in trouble, things like "boys will just try to get into your pants" that was my sex ed; I always felt "dirty" when men were looking at me just seeing my body and face but not ME! I wanted to hide behind the weight.... I started gaining weight when I was working shift work and eating when I was tired, then going home to eat and go to bed. Not to mention that I wasn't getting enough sleep. I always felt exhausted and then the weight started piling on. I was newly married and felt like I was being judged by my husband. He said at one time "I just don't want you looking like our moms.." that really hurt...but of course I didn't discuss this with him. I didn't want him to see me without clothes on then, even though he always told me I was beautiful. Fast forward to married life and the birth of three beautiful children. With every one I gained more and more. I hated that I was the "fat mom" so I dieted, starved. exercised crazily, etc. to try to stop this madness. Everytime I lost, I would gain it all back and then some. My most recent weight loss was a 500 calorie HCG diet (no exercise) that I was pretty successful at for a time. In that time frame my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my husband very publicly was caught in prostitution ring that tore our family apart. At the time, I couldn't eat and wouldn't eat. Eventually with therapy and a strong faith in God, we have made it through that. My dad died 6 months after his diagnosis and I never returned to the HCG diet. Gradually the weight started to come back....I think I had some body dysmorphia considering I didn't think I was as fat as everyone else did. I had a warped sense of normal. Sooooooo now my kids are all in college or beyond, I have decided that it is time for me to do something for myself. I had been researching bariatric surgery for 10 plus years so this wasn't taken lightly. I think that my continued thoughts that I shouldn't be so weak and I could do this on my own kept creeping back into my head. My best girlfriend growing up had gastric banding 7 years ago and was very HAPPY she did it!
I have now had the surgery! March 11th, 2015. Things are going well so far! I am excited, scared, etc. but mostly excited.