Melanie B.
OMG! How did I get THIS fat!!
39 y/o mother of 3 (14.12 and 2) I work full time and have lead a fairly successful life in all asspects but maintaining a normal weight. I was even born too big, at 11lbs 1oz.
I'm a very young at heart 39 y/o. However this past 2 years has been a disaster for me physically. I had an extremely difficult pregnancy (gestational diabetes, PreEcplampsia and PIH)Thankfully I managed to only gain 10lbs during the entire pregnancy. I had nightmares that I would put on an additional 50lbs as I had done with my 2 boys and that would have pushed me into the black hole of obesity forever. Due to my health, I had to be induced at 35 weeks and my daughter spent a few days in the NICU since her lungs were not fully developed. (yes I blame myself for this)
The PIH (176/106) i was diagnosed with in pregnancy, did not go away after my daughter's birth. i was eventually put on medication for it - and after abttu 6 months it returned to a nice normal 120/68. I also had to deal with Cervical dysplasia (early stage cervical cancer) and a nasty case of Vertigo. Can you see I'm just completely STRESSED out of my face!
And there we have it boys and girls, I am 100% convinced that I'm am so stressed out that my body is refusing to work properly. The weight, the BP the cancer, the vertigo etc. So for me I beleive it will go hand in hand. Loose the Stress, Loose the weight. Lose the weight, Loss the Stress.
I also love clothes. I'm a clothes horse and a fashion diva. Sadly (or not) the "hip" clothes they make for us fat girls just looks ridiculous and I'd rather not wear them. I pretty much have 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of Chico pants that fit me. I'm yearnign for the day I can open all those boxes in my attic with my "skinny" clothes and wear them all again. Or better yet walk into any store I want and look good in the clothes they have.
In the past I was a girl that always turned heads...I was once told by a guy "you ooze sexy" (and no I don't think it was a cheesy pick up line) It just WAS/IS the way I am. But under all this fat, nobody really looks at me (ok occassionaly someone will check me out in my car cuz they can't see my FAT ASS) No one holds doors for me or offers me any courtesy. When I was preggo, I often wondered if people even realized I was preggo and not just fat.
Now, if I could only go live in a cave in Siberia all these things/people that stress me out wouldn't be an issue. But seeing as that's not going to happen I'll have to find some alternative remedies. and surely some mongolian would show up with a big mac and ruin my entire plan.
So after years of going up and down I have come to the realization that I cannot beat this on my own. i have a disease that cannot be cured with will power alone. Therefore on August 25th, 2008 I will be making the biggest single life changing step in my life - Gastric Bypass Surgery.
I am going to reclaim my inner diva.
