AquaGirl

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A big shout out to Coolkat who inspired me to get off my butt and go hiking this morning. I had almost rationalized it away because I had line dancing class tonight, where I had a HUGE victory!!!

First off, I truly suck at line dancing. I think it's a whole lot of fun and I get quite a laugh when I do a turn and find I'm the only one facing in a given direction. I've labeled it my turning disability. I'm the only newbie in class and everyone has been quite nice to make this lack of direction enjoyable. However... tonight we learned a dance that had a little latin flavor, and... I GOT IT! FIRST TIME!! It was so cool I didn't want to stop. Apparently I have to wiggle to be able to turn, so maybe salsa or zumba will be next.

Finally!

I just passed the one month mark. I don't feel like I've been through major surgery, so that's a good thing. I've been able to exercise 6 days a week, 3 days walking, 3 days mild hiking (about 2.5 miles). There is a little hill in the hike that I thought would kill me the first time (okay, first through fifth time), but I made it! That was a great victory for me because I had not been able to do it in about 5 years. I also signed up for a line dancing class (no partner needed!), and though I totally suck, it is fun. The ability to laugh at myself is still there.

Another mini-victory was walking into my great-aunt's house. She passed away just before surgery and the family is in the midst of the estate sale. When I walked into the house, my mom did a double take. That was pretty cool... just a glance and then, "Hey, wait - that's my daughter!"

From pre-surgery weight (June 15th), I am down 34 lbs. I've lost 4" in my waist, hips, and chest (4" in each area). I'm hoping to do just a once a month weigh in and measure from now on. I still haven't been able to put the scale away, but I will only count my weight on the 29th of each month.

Food issues have been non-existent. I can eat a scrambled egg, cottage cheese (4oz. container), regular cheese, refried beans, and deli lunch meat (turkey breast). I still have to have a protein shake (or two) during the day to be sure I'm getting in enough protein. I also indulge in SF popsicles. The scrambled egg is my fav. I want to venture further to see if I can handle a real piece of chicken or steak, but I don't want to push it this early out. I have added benefiber to my liquids to help with regularity, and it truly does help.

My energy has been pretty good, but I find the more I interact with others, the more tired I become. Just going through my aunt's things (no lifting, just sorting through boxes) and talking with others can make me exhausted. No problem with an hour+ of exercise every day, but interactions really take a toll. This has me a bit worried because I'm a teacher and will be interacting with A LOT of people for many hours a day in about  a week and a half. A lot of this probably comes from living alone - I value my alone time - and when there are a lot of things to attend to, it's difficult to stay on top of it.

Physically I've had two periods in less than month - not real happy about that. My surgeon says it's from the stored estrogen in my fat cells. As I burn fat, the estrogen is released and I have another period. Totally makes sense, but doesn't make me real happy. I've had some abdominal pain but have learned to live with it (can't get a refill on my prescription - wish I hadn't tossed the rest of that bottle when I felt I wouldn't be needing it!). It's much milder than it was two weeks ago. Overall, I think things are pretty good at a month out. If I can get that energy part up before the kids come, that would be fabulous. The beginning of a school year is always like taking a sip of water from a fire hose - wish me luck!

Well, I'm five days out from surgery and am beginning to feel like myself again. Each morning I wake up, I feel exponentially better than the day before.

I was able to leave the hospital about 24 hours after arriving. The surgery itself went well with no complications and I could not WAIT to get home. I am so happy to have had the surgery with Dr. Feng. I feel that he is not only an excellent surgeon, but he really cares about his patients - I was in good hands throughout my stay.

I had some pains just out of the hospital - kind of like someone had beat me with a sack of oranges. Pain went down to having a few oranges hurled at me. Now pain mostly feels like hunger, an emptiness inside (phantom tummy?).

Exercise: Walking around hospital Monday and Tues. a.m. Walking around house Tues. Walked to end of block Wed., then around it Thurs. Walked to the park Friday morning (very tired) and around Walmart in the heat of day - lots of walking. Today I walked to the park via a longer route and alongside it - close to an hour (granted, that's a sleeve shuffle, not a strong walk. All in all, I feel good about the exercise.

Food: Some days I feel all I am doing is eating and taking vitamins. By the time I go for a morning walk, have breakfast and vitamins, it's nearly time for the mid-morning iron. Drinks are going down more easily now, but I've reverted to mixing with only 8 oz of fluid - doubling the fluid took WAY too long to drink.

Water: Not where I would like it to be. I am nowhere near what I should be drinking, probably close to 44 oz (which includes the shakes).

Surprises: After hearing that VSG sometimes causes irregular periods, sometimes stalling it for up to 8 mos., I was thrilled to have mine start Wed (please note extreme sarcasm).

Difficulties: Getting in enough water. Slight constipation (probably related to water intake). Getting in and out of bed was very difficult on my first few nights. It's easier, but still not easy - getting in is easier than getting out. Remembering all of my vits, especially the bedtime multi (strange time to take one for me). I've solved the problem by pouring all meds I need to take for the day into a little bowl to help keep me on track - working so far. Not weighing myself. Posture - I feel like I stoop while walking due to the pain from incisions (mainly the one near my bra strap and the one off to the right of my belly button (waist band).

Anyway, am getting better daily and hope this exponential gain will continue.

The eve has finally arrived. I'll be going in to the hospital tomorrow morning (5:15 a.m.) with surgery scheduled for 7:15. I'll need to leave the house by 4:00 a.m. to get there - at least the earlier time allows me to beat the heavy commute from East Bay to peninsula. So that means getting up at 3:45. This time has been sticking in my mind because I feel like it's the middle of the night. Then I remember that at one time I was able to stay up until then (or close). My, how life has changed!

I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited. I have everything set up for my return home. I think I'm mostly concerned about the pain afterward (and, of course, the surgery itself going smoothly). Through a series of last minute changes, my mom will be staying with me for a few days after surgery. She doesn't handle it well when her kids are in pain, so maybe that will help me suck it up. A few years ago, I broke my elbow. I stayed with my parents following surgery and was in a lot of pain, couldn't get comfortable with bandages and casting, and was still feeling sick from anesthesia. I cried. When my mom saw me cry, all she could do was cry more. I tried to get her to stop crying and I remember her calling out to my dad who came in, saw the two of us, and could only say, "What the hell happened?"

Poor guy - what to do in a house of free-flowing estrogen? It still cracks me up.

I have complete confidence in my surgeon and do expect the surgery to go smoothly. I've lost 15 lbs. pre-op and have been able to maintin the liquid diet. Not looking forward to the extra three weeks of the liquid diet, but I can do anything for 21 days. Other than my obesity and a Vitamin D deficiency, I'm healthy. I will be taking Super D today, so that should help as well. I look forward to coming out of this as a healthier, happier, more active person.

Look forward to seeing the other side.

Today was my last pre-op appt. with my surgeon before next Monday's surgery (all papers signed and payments made). I have been on liquids for about a week and have lost ten pounds. It dawned on me after stepping on the scale that I would never see those 10 lbs again. What a concept! Being one of those yo-yo dieters who lost, then regained plus some, this is an entirely new experience. I cannot wait to be healthy, but at least I know I'm on the road.

Although I'm in my 40s, I have asked my parents to drive me to my surgery and look after me post-op. I went to their home yesterday to go over any questions they may have, and to have them sign the papers as my support person. What I've realized is that my mom REALLY does not want me to have the surgery. I explained my reasons for having the surgery, and really tried to assuage her fears. However, I'm left feeling very frustrated.

I've been overweight all of my life (actually, I've discovered I've been obese most of my life, not just "heavy"). There are genetic predispositions toward obesity on both sides of the family, but I'm the only one in my immediate family who got lucky. It's frustrating to hear her call herself heavy at 118 lbs., especially given that I need to lose more than that to be healthy. She suggested doing yet another diet; simply stated, if diets worked, I would not be here right now. To be fair, diets have worked short term, but I've always gained it back +20.

This is a drastic operation, and I need something drastic. I'm worried that one of my main supporters really doesn't support this decision. It's disheartening, especially with surgery scheduled in about a week and a half. I'm thankful for this blog so I can vent, and all of the positive energy coming from the forums.

I received my surgery date yesterday and feel like I've had my emotions pureed over the last 24 hours. I've got excitement, fear, anxiety, hope, joy, optimism, pessimism all jumbled together. I'm really trying to put the skids on the pessimism since those feelings seem to be based on the "what if?" fear factors. Instead, I need to be looking forward to the optimistic "what ifs?"
What if I wear a bathing suit on a public beach next year? What if I fit comfortably in concert or theater seats? What if I can go on an airplane without fear of having to purchase two seats? What if I increase my social opportunities and maybe even date? What if I have purchased my very last pair of tight fat pants? What if I've increased my life span as well as the quality of my life?