autismmom

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So depressed today.
Ok im still waiting on my Phyc exam on the 29th of this month.
Then it will be submitted to my isn. The doctor says aprox 2 weeks after that we should have the aproval.
He's positive I will get aproved.
The more I think about it the more I think he can't gaurentee I will be aproved what if im NOT approved? Im so depressed. My back and legs have been killing me for days now. I know its because of my weight.
I went to get  a new pair of much need shorts today at Target I got the biggest size they had a 26.  I got home to see they wont fit at all ! Im so upset and cried like a baby.
Im trying to be positive but its so hard. What if im not aproved. I can't live this way anymore.

YAY my consult was today. The entire experience of going was very bad. Ive been really sick and it was a 5 hour drive each way.

the staff was rude to say the least but trust me I let them know that :)

Dr vitello was great. he answered all my questions and more. He was caring ,nice and the things ive heared he wasnt.

I go have the medical card and he  assures me id have NO trouble getting it approved  !!!!

I need my phyc eval now then submit to my ins.

As of right now my phyc eval is set for may 29 at 330 pm. Im hoping to get it done sooner even if i have to go somewhere else. Yes I guess its safe to say im a little on the imoatient side.  :)Im not featful anymore im sooooo excitedc. i trust him and im ready to be on the losers bench !!

I finially got an apointment the other day with Dr. vitello in Chicago. he seemed really nice on the phone My apointment is on may 1st. im excited and scared the same time. i know its what I really want to do. I can wait to meet him I hope he seems confident in doing my surgery and the waiting time will go quickly !

I am the child that looks healthy and fine.
I was born with ten fingers and toes.
But something is different, somewhere in my mind.
And what it is, nobody knows.

I am the child that struggles in school,
Though they say that I'm perfectly smart.
They tell me I'm lazy - can learn if I try -
But I don't seem to know where to start.

I am the child that won't wear the clothes
Which hurt me or bother my feet.
I dread sudden noises, can't handle most smells,
And tastes - there are few foods I'll eat.

I am the child that can't catch the ball
And runs with an awkward gait.
I am the one chosen last on the team
And I cringe as I stand there and wait.

I am the child with whom no one will play -
The one that gets bullied and teased.
I try to fit in and I want to be liked,
But nothing I do seems to please.

I am the child that tantrums and freaks
Over things that seem petty and trite.
You'll never know how I panic inside,
When I'm lost in my anger and fright.

I am the child that fidgets and squirms
Though I'm told to sit still and be good
Do you think that I choose to be out of control?
Don't you know that I would if I could?

I am the child with the broken heart
Though I act like I don't really care.
Perhaps there's a reason God made me this way -
Some message he sent me to share.

For I am the child that needs to be loved
And accepted and valued too.
I am the child that is misunderstood,
I am different - but look just like you.



by Kathy Winters