bbokardr
Thoughts... what is happening to me?
Sep 19, 2008
I keep thinking that I won't get to where I want to be. I want my BMI to be below 40 so much, today it is 40.4 (deep sigh). I want to lose half my body weight (that is another 30 pounds away). I want to keep losing for another 7 months or so, you know I worry.
I can eat pretty well. I also eat what I want, I have funsize candy bars, I have had a piece of pizza, I have had some soda (it doesn't hold the same power), can do taco bell, I try not to do anything in excess but I enjoy what I have. I exercise, I walk, I try to be active. I feel good, somedays not so good, but that isn't surgery related. I do have more acid than ever before, I take Prilosec OTC. It isn't the most comfortable thing, I can't tell if I am doing something to contribute to it or not. I also need to watch the speed that I eat or I will throw up, it will not all go down you MUST pay attention to the signals.
I have taken a second job, I want to give my daughter a good senior year. I am working 49 - 60 hours a week. I am working at Wal-Mart along with my regular full-time job. I would have not been able to do this 217 pounds ago. I do have a different energy level, there is so much going on, my life is my life, I mean my weight hasn't ever held me back but let me tell you I enjoy the encouragement.
Someone tonight gave me the most awesome compliment they stated that my happiness was coming from the inside out, that my outside was starting to match what was on the inside. I want to make this work.
I know I am all over the place. This is a wild ride when I start thinking about it all. Hopefully I will het this all under control at some time in the near future....
thanks for listening.
I know this is a gift and I know this is a chance, I want to be here next year saying that I am maintaining and that this is still a great thing.
this summer
Aug 31, 2008
I am really just testing, but this summer has been amazing. I had my 6 month check-up and I was down 90 pounds since surgery. That 90 plus the 113 prior to surgery is a total of 203 pounds.
When I weighed at the athletic club, the scale I track by I was down again last week for a total of 210 pounds. I am not the poster chld for this procedure. I eat 1100 - 1300 calories per day. I try to exercise and do the best I can to get my steps in each day.
This is my daughter's senior year. I would like to be at my goal by her graduation which is another 53 pounds away. 53 pounds in 8 months. I will keep you posted. All I can say to newcomers and searchers is be patient and stay focused, this is for a lifetime.
history
Aug 31, 2008
Well I have had my pysch exam, a horrid experience testing for sleep apnea and I am now on the C-pap and I am going to a Seminar sponsored by Barix on 9/16/04. I am seeing a nutritionist and am down to 477, 20 pounds lost since my consultation. I hope this works, I don't have weight history for 5 years as my weight exceeded 350 and my OB/GYN couldn't use their scale. My weight history starts in 11/2000 so I am not sure what to do now.
9/16/04 I have fianlly figured this out and now realize how to update this part, at least I hope I have. Ok, so I am still going through the processes. Tonight I am going to go to a seminar at Barix, my supervisor is going with me, isn't that nice. I hope to hand in the paperwork I have thus far. I have been seeing a nutritionist for 2 months and thus far I have lost 30 pounds since my initial consultation, I started out at 497.7. This is all making me look at myself differently and also I know that I need to learn how to cope with all the issues in my life, this doesn't make those go away, hopefully I will be able to talk my way through all of it and remember that I can't keep it all inside, that is what has brought me to this point. Anyhow, I will write more later I assure you as long as this update works......
9/17/04 Last night I went to the Barix Clinic for a seminar for people considering WLS, I guess I am a little further along than that. I handed in some paperwork. I need to find some pictures to help document my wieght history from 1999-2001. I have weighed in excess of 350 pounds for over 14 years. The things I realized last night was I am taking the right steps in being with the nutritionist. This is really needed in order to take this road. I am havin success at this time traditionaly and I am happy about this, in some ways I am putting together a tool belt to help me deal with my life that the God Lord has given me. I am getting some great tools right now and maybe the surgery in the power tool I am looking for, but in reality it is my mind that is the power tool that I need, where the mind is so the body goes. The seminar last night was very organized and informative and I have even heard some of it before, but the people were polite and friendly, very open and willing to answer any questions, I want to get on the road to insurance approval, but I am willing to do whatever they tell me I need to do. Patience and persistance are going to be needed.
10/22/04 Well I mailed in the last 2 pictures to complete my weight history. The last time I was at the nutritionist I was down to 457.3. That is about 40 pounds since my initial consulatation. I see her again on Tuesday, I am getting a little scared about all of this and I am not sure how long all of this takes, I am hoping that after Barix gets my pictures the insurance approval will start or that they will contact me and let me know what is next. I know that the insurance company says I need to see the nutritionist for 6 months, that is another 3 months at least. We will see. The great news today is that I am becoming an Aunt, my brother and sister in law are adopting and soon my nephew will be home. :-)
11/10/04 I heard about a week and a half ago that my information has been turned into the insurance company, so now I wait. I am still seeing the nutritionist and keeping my food journal watching my calories and trying to examine why I eat. I had gained a half pound 2 weeks ago and when I saw the nutritionist on Tuesday, I had lost 7.5, while this may not be as much as the Biggest Losers are losing, at least I am on the losing side.
that half pound gain threw me for a loop, I mean I know we reach plateus but you would think that I would keep losing no matter what as long as my calories intake is less. It was tough to stick with the plan, I did get discouraged and I didn't have surgery yet, what will I do when this happens after my surgery? This time really makes me think, this isn't going to be easy no matter what.
1/4/05
Well my surgery has been denied, I am working on appealing it, in the meantime I have joined Curves and I saw the nutritionist again today. I lost another 6 pounds, since the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I have lost 11 pounds. Did you hear that ???? I lost 11 pounds over the holidays. How about that without the surgery, I lost..... God is pretty amazing.
Who knows where this will lead?
4/22/05
Still denied surgery, Barix lost page 2 of my psyche exam, figure that?? I need to fax it to them, DO I WANT TO???? AS for me, I am down to 395, ok, so it isn't that far down, but I started at 497.5. I go to CURVES 3 times a week, water aerobics 4 times a week and twice a week I walk 2 miles to a Walk Away the Pounds video, in 28 minutes. My food journal is still going strong. Sure I make wrong choices, I Am trying still...
1/8/08
try #2 I have a surgery date after 2 years, my mom passed away and I lost my focus, so I gained 95 pounds and now, thanks to calorie watching and an amazing friend who says walkingn 10,000 steps a day will be good for me, I have lost 113. Back to try again, surgery date 2/12/08, VGS, med-mutual...deep sigh this is real
1/24/08 Talk about REAL, I had my pre-surgical appoinment today. It is going to happen, had my pre-op bloodwork completed too. My BMI has gone from 72 to 56 in the last year. WOW is all I can say. It was a lot of hard work and I know the work has only started. Absolutely no real food after 2/6/08. This is it, I am planning n being a poster child for this procedure, one more tool in the weight loss tool belt....................
2/2/08 10 days to go, On Wednesday I go totally on the weight loss solutions My echo and EKG turned out fine. On Monday 2/11/08 I go to have an outpaient procedure as they put a filter in my artery to prevent clots from going to my heart. I have been eating a few extra things over the last week, tomorrow I do plan on eating some baked tostitos and salsa for the super bowl.
With the weight loss solutions I know that it is so my liver will shrink and the laproscopic procedure can go smoothly. I have had some emotional moments this week, but I believe that God has a plan and that this is all meant to work this way.
I also got to spend an evening with 2 ladies I work with that had the RNY 7 and 4 years ago and they have successfully kept their weight off. It was a real affirmation for me, they shared openly and I know that I need to watch the protien, exercise, and be diligent.
2/5/08 last 'food' day, weight loss solutions start tomorrow. I got my medications filled yesterday, planned my first couple weeks meals, went grocery shopping both tonight and last night. I think i am ready. Heather says we need to take measurements and I need to take side view pictures, guess I will have Ash do that on Sunday.
I bought low fat dry milk, 7 grams of protien per serving, I also bought both vanilla and chocolate carnation instant breakfast drink, bought some stage 2 baby fruits for mixing in smoothies, small curd cottage cheese, and of course sugar-free jello, puddings, and popsicles.
The next 3 days are all about sticking to the liquids, I already have tomorrows 'menu' in my purse for work. I will worry about the weekend after I get through Friday.
2/8/08
It is Friday, 3 days til surgery. Liquids are liquids, so far the struggle is all in the head, the thing about all this is that it is all in the head. I mean you have to think about the ending I am getting a smaller liver everyday and the surgery will be a success.
2/9/08
Saturday, (deep sigh)... I got my pedicure. Also took my beginning measurements:
Neck - 16.5
Arms - 20.5
Bust - 55.5
Chest - 47
Waist - 52
Hips - 69
Thigh - 31.5
Calf - 24.25
Let's see where we are in a few months.
2/15/08
Surgery was 4 days ago, yep 4 days ago and I am home. I am resting here on Friday night, getting ready to take some pain meds and go to the bathroom, everything appears to be functioning as it should be, I was not prepared for the pain. It hurts, don't let anyone kid you.
I have some bleeding from one of the stitches and I have a steri-pad on it right now. I am not hungry, I am getting the fluids in and protien by writing it down and make sure that I am on 'track'. I am putting a non-flavored protein powder in everything I make, tonight I added non-fat dry milk to my cream of mushroom soup and that added some protein along with the skim milk I had added.
I have been chewing the multi-vitamin and the calcium citrate. I have also been taking my biotin for the last couple of days, I don't think I remembered to do that in the hospital.
The people at the hospital were great, Dr. Myers, what can I say, he was compassionate, caring, and as always busy. I see him again on Thursday. I don't have a scale at the house so I am not going to get hung up on the scale.
I was able to walk 20 minutes today and did a wal-mart run. Some advice someone gave me, sip, rest, and walk..... I am trying
Now to those I would not have been able to go without....
Ash, for 17 she can be pretty compassionate at time. Thanks for sharing your dreams with me and believing in me, even when I don't believe in me.
My co-workers Shelly, Connie, and my team, thanks so much for your kind words and support.
Judith, Thanks for taking Ash into your home and giving her a safe haven.
My church family, your prayers have no price attached and I want to thank you for that priceless support.
Amy, thanks for the words from the throne, that you for your caring and visits.
Heather, hmmmmm what to say, you carted Ash around, you sat by my side, held my hand, watched me sleep, and always have a word of encouragement, you are an incredible friend and your life is a testimony to your faith.
Karla, when the going gets tough you keep going, you are so special my friend, I cherish your words of encouragement, your praticality, down-to-earthness, and your never-ending support, thanks for the calls, prayers, and chats!!!
Becky, you are an organizing maven, you go like the energizer bunny, you never give up. I cannot keep up!! Thanks for the lifts, the hand-holding, the laughs, and the encouragement.
2/21/08
Post-op 9 days, doctors appointment, down 5 pounds since surgery, healing well, trying to keep a positive attitude. I was a bit disappointed that it was only 5 pounds down, but I am not doing anything but healing so there is always 2 weeks from now :)
I feel good today, there have been up and downs, good mental days and bad mental days. I need to be patient with myself. I will also be making an appointment with Dr. Tell, just to talk over some of the stuff going on in my head. I get to move to the next stage on March 4th, I will continue to be compliant and this tool also should work. The one thing I need to remember is that, I , as of today have lost 128 pounds since 1/1/07. That is the amazing thing, this is indeed just another tool, I will learn to use it too.
3/12/08
One month since I had surgery. What has changed you ask, well I have lost 21 pounds since the date of surgery. Some of this has been hard, I have gotten some acid reflux the little tummy doesn't seem to understand it doesn't need as much acid as it did before. I have been taking a Prevacid about once every other day or so. I have been pretty compliant in all areas, probably didn't walk as much as I should have during the first couple of weeks. I take my vitamins, use Tylenol as needed and am going to the health center.
I have found I am not hungry I eat because I am supposed to, 3 times a day for me, and when I am not eating I am working to get my fluids in or giving my tummy a break so that I will be able to eat :) . I can eat about 3/4 of a cup ove a half hour. Dinner tonight was 3 tablespoons of tuna salad, and 2 tablespoons of lite cream cheese. I try to remember to eat my protien first, oh yeah that isn't a problem, seems like I am putting protein in everything. I have had some NSV, some great positive reinforcement, and some scale victories.
The scale isn't my friend I want it to go down faster, but your body knows what it is doing. I guess slower is better. I am going to the health center, learning how to stregthen my core, walking, and I am sure there are body changes happening. I don't see it, but it has to be. This was the right thing for me, I would recommend it to anyone considering WLS.
3/29/08
Took measurements today:
Neck - 15.75 -.75
Arms - 19.75 -.75 (x2) = 1.5
Bust - 53.75 -1.75
Chest - 44 -3
Waist - 51 -1
Hips - 66.5 -2.5
Thigh - 30 -1.5 (x2) = 3
Calf - 22.5 -1.75 (x2) = 3.5
Total inches lost in 7 weeks 17 inches total pounds still stuck at 40, but I will take it....
4/15/08
Tax Day and 3 days past my 2 month surgiversary. 34 pounds down since surgery, 44 pounds down since pre-op, 157 pounds down since 1/1/07. I am finally free to eat anything I want to, I have missed nuts, cannot get enough cashews, but I know better. I have been tracking my food on the daily plate as well as tracking my exercise.
This is tough work, don't let anyone kid you. I have some reflux issues and I have got to eat slow. When they tell you this they mean eat slow. I try to make my meal last 30 minutes. If I eat too fast I get phelgm and I need to bring it back up. I still haven't felt hunger that I am aware of but, I know I need to eat and drink and if I get busy and forget I go back to my old habits, you have got to be careful.
All in all one day at a time, one pound at a time, one step at a time.
5/1/08
Saw the surgeon today and I don't have to go back for 3 months, yipee skipee. Big News, I am down to 315, that is 55 pounds since surgery, 68 pounds since pre-op, AND a total of 168 pounds since 1/1/07 when i started this road again.
I do feel good. It is a different way of eating. Sunday I went to an Indians game and pretty literally grazed all day. I mean I had food I enjoyed, Sticklands custard, cracker jacks, peanuts, even a hotdog just not a lot of anything. I have to admit, I am not eating a lot ofbreads at this time, but I do like crackers and nuts. I missed nuts so badly. I probably have a serving of almonds a day.
I am exercising 4-5 times a week right now, hope to keep that up. I get about a 1,000 calories/day, under 100g of carbs, over 65g of protien, and I am drinking at least 64 ounces of water. Stalls are tough.
I have also been drinking 2-3 ozs of Mona vie a day which seems to have helped the bowels. in 11 days it will be 3 months, let's see where I am at that time.
Pictures can be found at http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/bbokardr/
5/12/08
Well it has been 3 months to the day I am down to 309. I can't believe it, this is amazing to me. I just got back from spending an hour in the water, doing some deep water work and ab work. I am exercising about 4 or 5 days a week. I bought a new bathing suit and can wear about a size 26 in just about anything. I don't think I will be to 24's for a while, but I am very hopeful that I will meet my goal of being under 300 by 6/21/08, the beginning of summer. My birthday is Saturday and I am looking forward to being able to walk a 5K in rememberance of my mom in Race for the Cure. She passed away 3 years ago and I wish she was here right now to see what is happening.
This is such a wonderful gift from God. I don't know what I would be doing right now or where I would be. This is truly the right path. I read somewhere this weekend that a person was asked by another why they just didn't lose weight God's way. I have struggled with this 'statement'. I do believe this is God's way for me, for another the path might be different, but at this time in my life, at this moment God's way included a VSG I am hopeful that people will see that he has a path for each of us and the way we honor him is by following that path and giving him glory in each step. May he be glorified by these steps. There is Phillipians 4:23 "I can do all things through Christ who stregthens me" Let me be a testament to that Lord.
6/12/08
Four Months, it has been four months. I am down to 302 which is only 7 pounds this month, but that is ok. It isn't because I am doing something wrong. Pictures can be seen at http://www.obesityhelp.com/photos/uzone,photos/action,gallery/albumId,41625/curPhoto,228224/
this is hard work, don't let anyone kid you. I am in the gym 4-5 days a week. Some weeks I am up, some down. I never move my ticker backwards I figure I will always get back to where I was. It has been my goal all along to be under 300 by summer, that is officially one week away and 2 pounds. This surgery is a tool, I need to be motivated, I need to exercise, I know I am losing inches even when the pounds aren't moving. I will try to get my measurements this weekend.
I can eat anything that I want too, sometimes that is good, sometimes not so good. I look back over the pictures and I do see a progression. My size 26 clothes are getting loose and I bought a shirt in a size 22/24 can you believe that? I still have the support of the most amazing group of people starting with my daughter Ashliegh, friends Karla, Heather, Becky, Connie, Shelly, and Amy still tell me regularly I am doing so well, even though the scale doesn't really show it. I cannot give up. My church family encourages me and I love telling people my story.
My time at McConnell Heart Center has ended, but Monica is still helping me. I have tried to transfer my training knowledge to Premier at Sawmill and you should see the list of exercies I have: one arm dumbbell row, lat pulldown, strength ball, bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, 2-arm cable row, squats, and the list goes on and on...
This is a lifetime, look for another update in a month and check out the pictures.
7/20/08
WOW!!! That is all I can say. God can do amazing things when you just try. I have lost my first 200 pounds, this started 1/1/07 as I am sure you have read above but man this weekend it is real. I posted some (2) older pictures and 3 pictures taken today http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/bbokardr/ it isn't that I didn't realize I was changing, but looking at them all together, what a difference.
I am eating anywhere between 1,100 -1,200 calories a day, that is what the nutritionist said I should be doing, I can't imagineliving on 600-800 calories a day for the rest of my life. The wieght is coming off because I am also exercising 4 - 5 days a week like I posted last month. I eat what I want, I track my food and exercise at the daily plate.
I can fit into size 24 pants, even buttoned a size 24 shirt today. Found a great second hand store called the Clothes Mentor in Upper Arlington and plan on using it regularly. my current wardrobe runs from size 28 to size 24 right now, belts are my friend!!!
Speaking of friends, man I couldn't do this without them. Ash now knows my full signals, (runny nose and sneezing) Becky and Kevin had me over for dinner and prepared Yorkshire pudding and roast and it was wonderful to enjoy dinner in their home this week and be comfortable!! Connie and Shelly listen to me endlessly at work. Heather is always here with an encouraging word and uplifting comments, Amy doesn't give up on my and has a smile. Not only that my friend Jim listens to me rant and rave about whatever in going through my brain no matter the issue, and there is a great group of people from here on OH who I am able to see just about every month (thanks Paula) and we are able to laugh and encourage each other, at least I am encouraged!!!!
I see Dr. Myers for my 6 month check-up, hopefully not much changes and he will be as excited as I am. I know this is a long blog, Lord knows I can talk.... Be blessed!!!
