Britt_Bearpaw
Desires & Dreams....
Oct 26, 2011
I have been so excited ever since I found out about this sleeve surgery. I got even more excited when I found out how inexpensive it is if I go to Mexico. This has made me dream of all the things I have been forcing myself to forget about. I'm sure all of us have desires we wish we could capture...but our weight has stood in our way. For me, I want adventure. I am not the person that my fat makes me be. I would love to go kayaking, bunji jumping, skydiving, ride the tallest roller coasters, climb the highest mountains....Gosh, I really realized these past few weeks that I have never truly lived. I have been trapped in this prison only able to do what my body allows me to do. Wear the clothes that are made for this big body, pay the extra money for everything because of this big body, slow my family down and hold them back from enjoying things because of this big body. I cry in the shower when I think about all the things I will miss out on if I don't lose over 200 pounds. I will miss running around on the playground with my girls. In fact I am already missing out on this. I am afraid I will break the slides, and oh how I ache when I see other parents sliding or swinging with their babies on their laps. It hurts me to see people at amusement parks, oh how I wish it was me and my kids enjoying those rides. My life will be cut short due to my weight, and I hate myself for letting my body get so terribly big. How I wish and hope I can conquer this beast of an illness and live out all my dreams...
