Cali S.
ugly fat day
Jan 22, 2009
I'm having an ugly day. I hate days like this when I feel so incredibly unattractive. I blow dried my hair today and wore a cute shirt and still..... blah-ugly.I'm sick of the way I am. I just want to cry all the time. There is just no way i can feel sexy in my body right now.... my poor husband. I know he thinks I'm sexy but I think he is big fat liar. -- No he is just trying to be nice I'm sure. I just cant wait till i am sexy- when i can feel sexy. Life will be better then... especially sex life.
I'm glad I have a husband who loves me no matter what- through literally thick and thin. (mostly thick) I'm lucky. Thanks baby for all the support you give me.
I'm getting anxious about my surgery, anxious and frustrated at the same time. Just not knowing when and not being able to count down or look forward to a specific time is killing me. I have to have a thousand dollars to put a deposit and get a date with Dr Joya. But I wont be able to pick a specific day until a week or so before I go do it because I dint know exactly when I will have the money together. It will all be really fast once it does happen.
I'm still hoping for March. But realistically it will probably be April or may... I hope not June but its also a possibility. My sister gets married in August. I want to have lost at least 50 lbs for her wedding. I will likely be able to do that if i have the surgery any of those months but the sooner i get it the skinnier I will be at her wedding-- Hopefully even skinnier then I was at my wedding-- (size14)
I realize that I will probably not get any smaller then a size 10-12. I was born to be curvy.. I have a larger bone structure. So I feel like a 10-12 will be the healthily size for me. but who knows... we will see. I haven't been that since I was in Jr high. I got down to a size 12-14 while I was playing college volleyball but i still had a spare tire around me from all the beer i drank.
So that's my ugly day post... hopefully I wont have too many more of these... They come around way too often.
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About Me
Orem, UT
Location
41.6
BMI
Surgery
06/27/2014
Surgery Date
Nov 12, 2008
Member Since
