chakara
. . .Life is but a dream
Jun 27, 2010
I keep thinking that at any moment I will wake up and it will all be over. The weight loss will come to an end, and my surgery results are just a fluke. I am working my sleeve and seeing results. It may be years of dieting or my total tendency to think in black and white, but I am so afraid. I am more afraid now than i ever was before. I have never been thin in my adult life, as a matter of fact I have been obese. Now that I have finally allowed myself to entertain the notion that it could be different, I am filled with fear. Fear of failing, fear of ridicule, fear of all the life changes that have come along with this, fear of losing conrol, and most of all, a fear of being thin. YES, a fear of being thin! What if I don't like it? What if guys start lurking and creeping me out? What if my freinds stop coming around? Then I remember the question that made me decide that I was worth the $15,000 surgery, what if I don't live long enough to see my 2 year old grow up? So, for now, all I can do is buckle myself in and try to enjoy the scenery on this bumpy ride. (Even if I do prefer the driver's seat!)
1 Comment
About Me
Springfield, OH
Location
35.9
BMI
Surgery
05/11/2010
Surgery Date
May 03, 2010
Member Since
