Chelsea M.

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It has been a very long time since I've posted. With the semester coming to a close and the holiday season beginning, I was very busy!

All in all, I am glad to say goodbye to 2011. I had a very crazy year, full of changes! I am so ready for the dust to settle and get into a routine. I'm not very good with change. I am hoping that 2012 will be a year full of routine health and happiness! :)

Like pretty much everyone else, my new year's resolution involves dieting and exercising more. But specifically, I plan to eat NOTHING that has less than 5g of protein. I think that "not eating sweets" and "eating better" are too vague. I need a specific goal in mind so I won't talk myself into eating something bad for me that's not "sweet" and justify it. So along with my protein goal, I will make water a priority and get my butt to the gym more often!

I'm really exciting for the new year. It's a fresh start and one that I really need.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday season and is healthy! Have a great year!

Happy 2012!

I'm finally losing consistently again. I wouldn't say I was in a stall, per se, but I definitely wasn't seeing any rapid results. But in the last week, I've lost four pounds! I honestly think it has to do with the new water bottle I got, ahahha! It actually makes it easier to drink water. My old Nalgene was wide-mouthed and it was annoying to drink out of because it would spill all the time and I'd end up with raspberry ice crystal light all down my shirt (not a cute look!) So this water bottle has a flip-top that is easy to drink from and I don't have to pay full attention to in order to avoid a mess. That all being said, I've been able to increase my water intake and I think that jump started my weight loss. I've been really good with eating too, so that could also be it. I don't really care! I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing.

In other news, I am now a full-time student and double employed. I have NO idea how I'm going to balance everything but I will do my best! Wish me luck as I head into finals and start my new second job!

Hey Everyone! I hope you all had a great holiday. If you're like me, a recent post-op, this was your first Thanksgiving after surgery. I was super nervous about it. There is so much to think about when it comes to meal time and it is all about planning ahead. But when you aren't the one preparing the meal, that can be tough. Luckily, I had a mental talk with myself and just tried to prepare myself as much as possible for the temptations to overeat and eat incorrectly. When it came time to eat, I can say that I am very happy with the decisions I made! As everyone sat around the appetizers of cheese and crackers, I avoided eating until the turkey came out. I knew that if I ate before the big dinner, I'd be full and not be able to eat the high protein portion of the day's meal. Then I might overeat at dinner and be too stuffed to enjoy the protein-packed desserts I brought with me! So I sat patiently on the couch, waiting for the call to the dinner table and chatting wtih my family. It was nice to be home and see everyone. Being away at college is so hard sometimes.

For dinner, I had mostly turkey, two brussel sprouts, and one slice of a potato (they were homemade scalloped, mmmm!) Then about an hour or so later, I had pumpkin-pie yogurt (I made it with greek yogurt, pumpkin pie spices, and canned pumpkin---full of protein and deliciousness!) and a little bit of Peanut Butter Pie that I made with a recipe from theworldaccordingtoeggface.com --Can I just say, that is the most amazing pie I've ever had?! I am not the biggest fan of peanut butter. But this tasted JUST like a Reese's cup. Amazing! The filling is just peanut butter, cream cheese, ricotta, and some other stuff I can't remember. I added sugar-free chocolate syrup that was supposed to be the topping (it didn't come out right so I mixed it in.) Can't wait to make this recipe again! I also made this great protein fudge-type dessert but it looked weird and I didn't think it would tempt too many non-ops. So I kept it for myself! :)

Everyone has to check that website out. Seriously, it is life-saving! I love Michelle so much. She has legitimately saved my sleeve and my mental health!

As for the rest of my thanksgiving break, I did pretty well! Considering that my sister (who is the size of a twig, I don't know where she came from) eats poptarts, cookies, donuts, cranberry sauce straight from the can (she's so weird! hahaha) and anything else sugary that she can find (I seriously worry about her) and my mom has a stash of Reese's cups cluttering her room... It's nearly impossible to eat healthfully when I'm at home. But I filled up on protein as much as possible. Admittedly, I did indulge on a bit of candy and a couple cookies over the break but I restricted myself and only had a small portion. Besides, I don't need to feel guilty because it was the holiday and I doubt many people can say they lost two pounds over Thanksgiving!!! This is the first holiday that I haven't gained weight! Plenty of water and protein kept me from overdoing it! I am so much more confident with myself and it's way easier to minimize the food. Christmas break will be another story, but I feel like I am ready for it! :) I just have to arm myself with protein desserts (since my sweet tooth is my enemy and my house is pretty much made of sugar). I also have to have that will power to not graze and pick and snack at all the family parties. Christmas parties will be more difficult, I am already aware of that. But I can do it! I know I can!

I hope all of my OH friends are doing well and not beating themselves up over any mistakes they feel they made over the holiday. It is OK to have a couple of rewards every now and then. The trick is to limit them! And it's in the past. Letting yourself dwell on it will only hurt your future. Plan your next healthy meal and move on! It will be OK!

I can't believe it's been this long since I've posted last. I knew I'd been in a slump/slipping into a bit of a depression but I didn't realize how long it had lasted. Basically, the last time I posted was the last time I was actually in a good, happy mental state. Since then, I've been going through personal issues that have been triggering my food addiction habits more than usual, which has caused me to be stressed. Which then causes me to eat terribly... which would then depress me, etc etc etc... most people that haven't been in a depression don't realize how vicious the cycle can be, how personal it is (which makes it impossible for anyone to full relate), and how hard it can be to get out of. I didn't let it get too bad but during that time, I gained a couple pounds. When I first saw the scales increase, I stopped weighing myself. I was feeling guilty and afraid of the scale. So by avoiding it, it was easier for me to just ignore it. (I also haven't been having consistent bowel movements and my hormones have been crazy). There were just so many things that just snowballed and I've basically been a mess. But this weekend, I was able to work out some of the underlying causes and my mood almost INSTANTLY changed. I snapped back and told myself I just NEED to stay motivated! So I ate like I should be eating and made sure I drank my water. I got on the scale this morning and not only am I back to where I was before I gained the weight, but I've LOST a pound! I will verify tomorrow (I always think the scale is lying to me), but as of right now, I am 198lbs. I just need to keep focusing and remembering why I did this. I can reach my weight loss goals but only if I stay on track! I know I can do this!

Thanksgiving is just a few days away. I'm sooooo excited to go home for a break from school and see my friends and family. But it is my first big "food holiday". As a post-op, I'm nervous. But this mental craziness turned around JUST in time for me to make the right decisions on turkey day!

I've been avoiding the scale and avoiding OH, but now I am back and ready to continue my journey. I took a little detour but found my way back. I've actually never been too great with directions ;) But no worries... I have a map now, full of friends and resources to keep me on the right roads. I am determined to stay on the healthy lifestyle path!

As of today, I am officially in onderland! I am 199lbs! I can't believe I made it here. I honestly never thought I would. I thought I'd be stalled at 201 forever, just because my life works out like that. It's full of spite and irony. But not anymore because I've lost 41 pounds since surgery! It's so strange to say that. I've never lost more than 10 lbs at a time in my entire life. The last time I posted, I wrote about finding an old fitness testing sheet from 7th grade that said I weighed 209 at that time. 209 POUNDS! I was like 13 or 14! That means I haven't been under 200 since at LEAST middle school, probably elementary school. That's seriously fucking scary. Terrifying! I had no idea I'd been that heavy at the time. Well that's in the past now. I feel fantastic. I'm dressed for the gym (yeah, that's probably what jump started my weight loss again! I started going to the gym the other day!) Honestly, I am so glad I rekindled my relationship with the gym. It seriously makes you feel SO invigorated. It's not a myth that exercising makes you happy. And it isn't just because you are losing weight. Literally just going to the gym and working out made me SUPER excited! I wasn't even thinking about the weight loss. My endorphins were just through the roof. I have even more energy and I'm worried way less about eating! I just only want to eat to live now. Allllll from going to the gym! Can you believe it? Life is fantastic right now! Loving the sleeved life!

Today was a pretty great day! I've tried to stop worrying so much about the numbers on the scale and focus on getting healthy. It's helped me realize how fantastic I actually feel and that this weight loss surgery is already worth it! Though I haven't reached my goals in terms of numbers, I have met a couple of awesome NSV-type goals and that is almost better than moving down the scale.

I realized my first NSV was the fact that this bracelet my aunt got me a couple of years ago is now loose! When she first gave it to me, it barely fit and I couldn't wear it. Now, it has to be on the tightest link and it still slides around.

I went home for the weekend and my family, who hasn't seen me for two months, was really surprised to see my weight loss and everyone was full of compliments. So even though I can't see it sometimes, because I see myself every day, they were shocked. It was reassuring and comforting.

I haven't had any weight-related aches and pains since surgery. I just feel great all around. My only issue is acid reflux. I have to call my doctor and see if there's something that can be done about that. Other than that though, life is pretty swell.

OH, and I'm SOOOOOO close to one-derland! I'm at 202! My goal of being under 200 by my 3-month post op appt (which was supposed to be the 25th) is ascertainable! I was getting worried at the beginning of the month, but I am almost POSITIVE it will happen! It will be the first time in my life that I have set a weight-loss goal and been able to reach it. I have six days to go still, but I can do it!

My 3-month post op appointment is coming up. I am 4lbs away from being at my goal of under 200 by the appointment. That gives me exactly two weeks to lose the last few pounds. I really have to be on top of my game. I know I can do it. Four pounds in two weeks should be super easy. I just have to kick that compulsive eating habit and make sure I'm getting all my protein and water. Easier said than done but it's what I have to do. For the REST of my life! Not just for these two weeks. But in order to keep motivated, I dug up this inspirational quote that got me to be really serious about losing weight at the beginning of this year. I figured I'd share it on OH so I'd have a permanent reminder and anyone else who reads my post can have the opportunity to be inspired too. This quote really got to me. It's from one of my favorite musicians, Anthony Green (singer of Circa Survive and also has solo work). I was watching youtube videos of Circa Survive performing and in one of them, he is about to introduce this really great song. But before he starts, he gives this quick speech. It was so great and since then, if I'm ever in a rut, I just read this quote. I typed it up and made it all colorful and pretty and put it on my wall. Need to stay focused now more than ever! Every day, we get up and fight the weight loss battle. But we deserve to be happy. We are worth the fight. We can do this!


"I feel obligated to let you know this. You can do this. You can do anything. It doesn't have to be this. It doesn't have to be on stage. It doesn't have to be fuckin... playin an instrument or bein in a band. You can do anything you want man. You don't have to fuckin toil. You don't have to be miserable. People at school, people at work, your family. Everybody's gonna tell you you gotta do one thing or the other. FUCK them. Fuck that shit. You don't have to be miserable. You don't have to be.You can change anything about your life that you don't like. A N Y T H I N G. It might hurt. It might be really, really hard. You might have to sacrifice for a long time. But you can be happy. You owe it to yourself. Life is too fucking short. Do what you love. Make sure everybody... Make sure everybody you love in your life knows it." -Anthony Green

Here's the video if you really want to feel the effect. It's at the very beginning. If you don't know who Anthony Green is, be prepared to fall in love :) www.youtube.com/watch

Wowww! I just posted on the forums the other day that I was concerned I hadn't lost enough weight at two months out. I changed my eating habits a little bit (having realized that what I was feeling was not actually hunger) and I'm now out of my small stall. I wouldn't even say it was a stall but whatever! I'm at 204lbs! I can barely believe it. I'm so close to being under 200, I can't imagine how it's going to feel when I get there. It is so true that once you start to really lose a significant amount of weight, it's easier to stay on track with eating. I haven't had to buy new clothes or anything yet, but my 16s are fitting pretty loose. Ahhhh! I can't wait to be on to the next size. It's going to be tremendous. This weekend is fall break and I am so looking forward to just relaxing all weekend. (As long as I'm still getting my exercise in!) Woooohoooo! I love my sleeve!

I am about to go crazy with school work. So I shall keep this short because I am currently trying to write a paper. It is really tough to keep up with my nutrition and assignments. But I have been doing great about protein and fluids. I feel like I have been eating too much though, because I am hungry every two hours. I eat breakfast, then an hour later I drink water. Then an hour later, I feel like I'm hungry. I always try to drink water to make the hunger feeling go away. But it comes back and I eat something. This is OK until it gets to night time. The problem is, with all this school work, I am always up late. I try to just drink water but I usually end up grabbing a little snack. I try to make sure it has a lot of protein but I'm still worried I'm having too many calories. I don't know.... I'm still losing so I guess it's OK for now. I really have to get my butt to the gym. The problem is that it's SO far. Literally over a mile from my house. I walk at least a mile a day so I'm getting exercise each day. I know I'd be losing faster though if I made the effort to go to the gym. I just literally have no time, especially now. But after Wednesday, I should have some more free time. Between 12 hrs a week at work and 17 credits this semester, I am spreading myself super thin. HAHA! And hopefully I'll BE super thin soon! But I finally feel like I'm mostly back to normal. There are still a few days here and there where I have some issues. But for the most part, I'm living normally again. Finally!!!

Today is the first day in like two weeks that I have been able to get all of my water AND protein in! I have seriously been doing terrible and I was getting so nervous that I was ruining my progress. I had a few run-ins with the carb monster, which I realize could be because I'm supposed to get my period soon... not that it's an excuse, I just need to know for next time and prepare myself with tasty, nutritious foods that will ward off any cravings I have. Anyway, I haven't gained any weight from my disastrous week but I haven't lost any so that is absolutely not good. I am freaking out of course, worrying that this is the end of my weight loss. I would have no one to blame but myself. So I just have to really focus on getting back on track and STAYING on track. Thank goodness, I remembered someone showing me a blog for recipes and tips and all this AMAZING weight loss surgery stuff. If anyone reading this hasn't seen this site, www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com you HAVE to go there RIGHT now. She seriously saved me from destroying my sleeve. Today I made three of her recipes and I plan to use more soon. Everything is nutritious, usually protein-packed and low-carb, and DELISHHH! I'm so glad I remembered the blog. I don't know where I'd be without it. Anyway, I'm sipping on a coffee protein shake right now which completely masks the terrible taste of my protein powder. I can't believe I didn't think of it before! For breakfast, I had strawberry cheesecake pancakes, made with cottage cheese, SF cheesecake pudding, and some other awesome ideas. They are seriously delicious and I don't think I like cottage cheese, ahahha! I made some brownie bars, perhaps incorrectly though because they were more like bread but they were still amazing. I would compare what I made to banana nut bread. But they're made with protein powder, which means you don't feel guilty about it! Thank you Shelly! This blog is literally a lifesaver!

I will make sure I update my weight loss progress thus far. Hopefully, I will see a movement in the scale tomorrow (since I haven't weighed myself in a day or two, out of fear!)