The Bridge Between

Feb 29, 2012

I'm in an "ok" place right now... It wasn't easy getting here but I wouldn't change it cause I have learned so much.  So much about post surgery RNY, my body, my mind; just the whole process. The one thing I would like to mention is the before/after hype of WLS. I always heard about the struggles prior to surgery and then the rewards after, quite a while after.  Not many touch on the bridge in between. Thats where I am going with this entry; the bridge in between. When I woke from surgery I was in pain and lots of it. The pain went on 1week post op, then two became 4 wks and so on till about 9-10 wks. This is not the norm, but it is out there and it was my path. I was stuck in the soft and puree stages for an extended period of time.  Nothing was wrong, just that it takes some longer for their bodies to recover and adjust to the dramatic changes surgery makes to our insides. I learned early that eggs would no longer be a part of my diet and as time has moved on  chicken, turkey, fish, pork and most beef is out as well. Throw on top of that no pasta, rice, or oatmeal. This left me frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed and in a position wondering, what the heck was I thinking? What did I do to myself? My friendship and love of food had changed to anxiety, dread, anger and full blown hate!! Then reality... This choice was made to live, longevity of  life, freedom. I decided to stop focusing on the negativity and focus on what I can control and turned it to a positive. How on earth would I get in my daily protien, was my first question. Refried beans didn't work. So I headed to the freezer section in the store, the area for "those" kind of people... The vegetarian section. I bought one of everything... "fake" hamburgers, "fake" grilled chicken, "fake" 3 bean chili, "fake " chicken tenders, "fake" BBQ riblets... you get the idea. And guess what? I can eat it some what when I can get past the "fake" taste. But I figure this, like any other dietary change, in time your taste buds change. I know when I did that "cabbage soup" diet I hated it, but one month later I just loved it, lol. And that's where I am today, tasting, trying, and adjusting to my new food choices. I can only ingest a good two bites or so and as of late my body is rejecting sweets (which is a blessing) but day by day it gets a little easier and I am re-establishing my relationship with food. A more respectful, educated and peaceful approach.  I"ve decided that instead of looking at this as "poor me, why me", I'm looking at it as "lucky me, a new way has begun".
Today I am 13wks post op. 205lbs. From size 4x to 1x. I'm happy here and look forward to the rest of my journey. Even the bumps in the road.

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