what makes me scared

Mar 14, 2009

i decide to write down some of the stuff  that i feel is holding me back from having surgery. so here we go......


1- i don't have "vacation time" to spend in a hospital to recover from surgery.

   WHY?- i have 3 kids. 1 takes meds for seizures and with that type of med you have to very consistent time wise when giving it. as a house rule i am the only one who can give his meds.  also, i am almost neurotic about keeping meds out of reach of kids. god forbid a pill falls on the floor, the whole house goes into lock down mode complete with sirens and Sheppard released.

             which leads me to my younger son. he turned 3 back in December. his behavior and temper tantrums are so out rages that when i went to apply for him to go to pre-k in September, the school suggested that he is not ready and try next year.  i feel he may have ADHD but must go see a neurologist to confirm this. so he is a hand full and i don't want my husband to look after him because i aknow the kid well and i know what he is going to do before he does it.  my girl is OK and don't misbehave at all.

2-  what if i die on the table, or of an infection? who's gonna take care of the kids and my husband? then again, what if i die from something related to being over weight?

3-  what if the surgery don't work?  i know that any WLS is a tool and even after surgery i have to account for everything i eat. what if i fail to that?

i can go on forever thinking of things that make me scared, but i don't even have the time to write in my own blog!

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