fear of working out!

Aug 02, 2016

I know this might sound ridiculous or like I am just trying to weasle my way out of exercising.   I had vsg surgery 6 weeks ago.   I have been fairly active, with walking, went on a trip down the east coast visiting some towns and a lot of beaches where I swam, jumped around in the waves, swam more, went on long nature walks/hikes, and was for the most part on my feet from the moment I woke until night time.    The thing is that I have not done any formal exercise, a routine or anything that would be thought of as a work out.     I have never been a particularly active person, though there was a period of a year when I went to the ymca at least 4 times per week and primarily did the treadmill and some stair mastering. I tolerated it, never loved it.   I never got to the point where I could actually run on the tread mill like most of the other people there.     I am a clumsy person and just avoid phsyical activity requiring any real motor coordination.    Also years of being overweight and obese has taken a toll on my my knees and to a lesser extent my ankles, really just the ankle that I broke a fews years ago.  I was actually running to catch a child running for the road and fell as I grabbed her.  Snap/pop went the ankle.  I don't even know how I fell in such a way to end up in cast, but I did.    I also fell once just walking down a hallway and did serious damage to my neck, with some lingering pain, years later.   Like I said, I am not coordinated.  I cannot aim a ball or catch a ball for anything.   I am the worst dancer ever.  My sense of balance stinks.    Well, I think that walking and being more active that I used to be just is not going to cut it for my fitness needs.   I keep telling myself that I will have to go to the local athletic center or a nearby gym.    I cannot make myself do it.   I have gone as far as getting there but cannot make myself walk in.   I am actually scared of going in.    I am scared of trying to do any more challenging exercises at home as well.   I work really hard in every other aspect of my life and nobody would ever call me lazy or someone controlled by fear, but I cannot get through this.   I cannot actually imagine myself doing new phsyical activity.   I am scared of getting hurt.    I do have some limitations from my neck, but should be able to work around them.   I just cannot get over the fear.   After my neck injury I was disabled for a time, could not work or care for my child.   Then I was very limited physically even once I was able to work again.  Intellectually, I know I am able to physically take part in a work out of physical activity, but of course intellect and fears and feelings are different things.    I guess I should ask a specific question, but cannot really narrow it down.  Just wondering if anyone has ever dealt with something similar and how did you get past it?   Thanks for taking the time to read this.    

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