creth95
Blah blah woof woof. Can't imagine I have much to say that hasn't been said a thousand times before on OH. Nutshell: huge baby (11lbs 15oz), normal kid, chubby adolescent, fat teenager, skinny 20-something, fat mom, now approaching 40 morbidly obese. Cue violins.
Honestly, my story's probably the same as most of yours. Most folks in my family are heavy so I'm hardly an outcast for that. If anything, they seem to keep wondering why I keep trying diets/exercise since we're apparently just "made this way." Because apathy could very well kill me, that's why. I've had success before but my old methods no longer work (esp. after kicking my 18-year smoking crutch to the curb). Dammit, I'm too young, and have worked too hard to just stay fat now. Lethal diabetes on both sides, heart disease, strokes...all in our future. Perhaps one of us should try another way, and it might as well be me. My spirit is drowning in a sea of flesh along with my features. Moo.
I decided a few years ago that I'd do everything I could to eliminate (or at least diminish) my risk factors for diabetes and heart disease by age 40. Quit smoking: check (8-24-04). Find exercise I like and will do regularly: check (yoga, treadmill). Weight: pending. T-minus 20 months = age 40 (3-7-09). Yikes.
But surgery? Really?! WTF? "Leave it to her to do things totally different," the family says. Once again, the family weirdo; a little flakey, a bit too "bohemian", hair color a little too bright, language a little too bawdy, humor a little too dark. But ultimately, we bond on the food and its result. Like it or not, I'm one of them.
And to them, it's just so much safer and easier to just be what I'm going to be, without cutting myself apart. If I do it, it will hurt. It will change how I live my life. It will put me at risk for complications. I think the biggest fear is that it'll make me different from them and they REALLY won't know what to do with me. But is different better? If better means thinner, then yes, I hope so. If better means a better person, of course not. Perhaps better means just one shade less fearful of change. Is it worth the risks? I have no idea. Is it better to be fat and intact, or normal and "a custom job?" Who knows. It's all a gamble, right?
Bitch or Bliss? We shall see. ;)
Oh yeah. Only child, born in Baton Rouge, LA (bulk of family in Hammond, LA), but moved around the country a lot as a kid (am on my 19th address), poor student through HS but great in art and choir. Voted most talented, Palo Alto HS class of 1987 but still had to take summer school after graduation. Buckled down in college finally and managed to graduate cum laude with a BA in graphic design in 1994. Married my best friend, Christopher, in 1995, gave birth to Julia in 1997, and was a corporate web designer until 9-06 when I "retired" to start a freelance and begin homeschooling Julia (who was having difficulty at her regular school due to Asperger's Syndrome). Am currently on my 20th HS reunion committee, and am contemplating becoming a Girl Scout leader but am still undecided. Parents and in-laws live locally...great for babysitting and holidays, lousy for privacy. A cat, a bunny and at least 90 extra pounds round out the family (I'm only 5'2"...90+ lbs is a LOT). Grateful the last company I worked for went public right before I left so I was able to sell my stock and make enough to pay for VG. lol
Anything else ain't worth knowing. Trust me. But if you're still curious, my regular blog lives at http://creth95.blogspot.com.
