dahoodman

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Well, it's been a year now since I had my RNY surgery. I have never felt better! I've had my share of challenges and I haven't quite met my goal yet, but with my recent total hip replacement I am now able to start exercising like a real person now. Even without being able to exercise I was able to lose 95 pounds!! I need to lose about 15-20 more to get to my goal and I believe that should be no problem now. Someday I will have to post some before and after pictures.

 

Ten?

Ten days until I undergo one of the most drastic changes in my life.

Am I ready for this?

Ten more days.

 

Nine?

Nine days. It seems like just yesterday it was ten days.

It's going by so fast, but in slow motion so I can absorb all of the emotions involved.

Does that make sense?

 

Eight?

Eight days of hell left. Hell you say? Yes, it's hell knowing that I have made this decision and there's a small chance it's the worst mistake of my life.

Eight more days.

 

Seven?

Lucky number 7! Luck has nothing to do with this.

It's not getting better. It's building and building and building!!

Am I REALLY going to do this? Seriously? Why couldn't I do it by myself?

Six and a wake-up, that's pretty damn close.

 

Six?

Six, really, six?

I've got to keep it together folks!

I keep reading about the out-years of RNY vs. VSG vs. DS. Who's right?

You read about success with all of them. 

Each person thinks their own surgery is the best.

Each person thinks their own surgeon is the best.

Each person is a salesman trying to tear you down until you give in to their surgery and surgeon.

Sometimes I hate this site (OH) for that. Can a moderator warn you not to sell vitamins but not warn you when you try to sell your surgery or surgeon? Pushy people!!

 

Five?

Five days and last chance opt-out at the surgeon's office.

Any last questions?

We have everything we need: 

blood work, check

pulmonary clearance, check

EKG, check

upper endoscopy, check

medical clearance, check

abdominal u/s, check

psych evaluation, check

NUT visits, check

Looks good Mr. Hood, see you on Tuesday

 

Four?

Four more days of waiting…waiting…tapping my feet…waiting!!

Last Goodbyes At Work!

This will mark the very first time that I will look forward to being able to go back to work.

Why?

What are the alternatives to not going back to work after surgery? DUH!

Yes I think about that stuff, don't you?

There's a bazillion things that could go wrong.

My stomach is in knots with everything I eat.

I thought not having to do a two-week liquid diet was cool, but trying to hold down food in the face of this surgery is getting tough.

Seriously, I have 4 (four, for, fore) more days left!!!!????

 

Three?

Oh man, did you just say three?

Knots continue in the stomach,

I'm up at 4am,

My body is like that Alanis Morrissette Song "Hand in My Pocket", I'm hungry but I can't eat

Ready to throw up at any instant!

I wish I had a time travel machine. 

I would do my time in the surgery but i just want to speed it up hot the point where they put me under.

Three days…..

 

Two?

I cannot believe two more days left. Where did it go?

Not really hungry

Not in the mood for food funerals or last suppers

My pastor and his wife are praying for me and supportive

That means a lot

Almost there

 

One?

Okay, less than one really!!!!

The hours go by now like days

The fear and anxiety is building even more

The excitement is building too, by the way

I'm ready, but I'm not (Again with the Alanis Morrissette type reference!)

I'm packing my bag with essentially nothing

What could I need really?

I do have a list, but it got chopped up by you guys thankfully

In less than 24 hours I will be off to the hospital

Tetelestai

 

 

In a reply to one other comment on my previous post I wanted to know how to spell a barfing sound. That's the way my stomach feels right now. I'm on my second morning of the scrub down procedure my hospital recommends. They gave me some soap stuff that kills all the micro-organisms on your body and I was told to start using it 2 days prior and the morning of surgery. You have to let the stuff stay on your body for 5 - 10 minutes. It doesn't really stink or anything, it's just very boring standing in the shower with the water off for 5 minutes. Time goes by very slow!! It irritates my skin just a little. It feels kind of weird. They said not to put it on your face so I imagine it must burn a little on the more sensitive skin.

On a good note... I think somewhere in my blogs and/or one of my posts I mentioned my hesitation in talking about this surgery with my mother. I couldn't last any longer. I had to tell her. I originally planned to maybe just tell her about my gallbladder being removed or just nothing at all. Well, last night I told her and she said, "Fantastic!" What!?? Did you just say fantastic? For real? My mom? Seriously? I told her that I have been dreading the moment I would have to tell her. She didn't ask why so I assume she probably knows why. I don't know, maybe my dad did tell her and told her not to be unsupportive. they are divorced in case you didn't know but they do still talk. It's an odd thing with my family, but we all get along - steps, ex's, in-laws, adopted, you name it. Anyway, I was so glad that my mom seems to be on board with this. It will make those family visits that much easier. However, I know I'm in for years (let's hope many years really) of questions and comments from my mother. She will still be very critical of what I put in my mouth I'm sure. Probably more so now. I know she's just trying to be helpful but sometimes it's overwhelming and frustrating.

Okay, well I'm off to go do a few last minute errands and pick some stuff up for after the surgery.

 

Wish me luck!!!

Okay, well 2 days left and I am really starting to get amped up now. I can barely look at food without getting a little rumbly in the tumbly. I'm guessing by tomorrow I will have diarrhea from being so nervous. That's how my body works I guess.

On another note, I responded to a post the other day and the response from a different poster (not the original poster of the question) pretty much pissed me off so much I was ready to throw in the towel on responding to people here. I was ready to stop blogging and I was ready to rip this person's head off as well. After I gave myself a few hours to calm down I decided the best thing to do is to not respond to her at all, and just quit responding and trying to help but continue blogging. Blogging is mostly for me anyway.

Well, today I opened up OH and I had a message from someone. This person thanked me for some of my posts. She said she was 3 1/2 months post op and my posts were helping her. Well, I wrote back to her and thanked her and I have now decided that I will keep responding. I really mean that if I can help just one person then I'm good with that. Although my blog is really mostly for me, I am doing it with the hopes that someone reads it and is helped by it in any way at all. The same thing applies when I respond to someone's question. I know it's early on for me to be responding since I haven't even had surgery yet, but some of the answers are obvious or simple if you've done enough research. The one's that I truly no nothing about I leave alone. I definitely don't want to give the wrong advice.

Back to my adventure. Today I go shopping for my next 8 weeks menu. I come home from the hospital and immediately start pureed foods; no liquid diet. My surgeon is definitely different than most others. His method of surgery, preparation, requirements, and post-op is vastly different. After I do my shopping today I will probably come home and just try to relax. Tomorrow I took off work and I will try to relax a little more. I have to pack my bag like a pregnant woman!! I've got to be prepared when the baby comes!! When I start getting contractions I will let the wife know so we can hurry off to the hospital. I also have to clean my CPAP up. We were told that if any part of the CPAP looks dirty or unusable that the hospital will provide me with a CPAP and I've been forewarned that I DO NOT want to use theirs. I've been on a CPAP for about 10 years now I think. My current machine still looks brand new except the humidifier tank needs a good cleaning. I also bought new tubing, nose pillows, and head gear so they can't fault me there. I've been playing with the machine trying to get it set just right from starting pressure to ramp time to EPR time and level. It's all perfect these days. If I have to use one without all the fun stuff then I probably won't be able to sleep well. I should have bought a new tank though.

Damn, I really can't believe it's only 2 more days. Not even 2 if you go by hours. In less than 48 hours I will likely be having something done or perhaps being rolled to recovery. My surgeon has told me several times that he takes approximately 30 - 45 minutes so in theory, if my surgery starts on time at 8 am on Tuesday, I will be on my way to or in my recovery room in less than 48 hours from now. I guess I have to end this now because there are some feelings that you just can't put into words you know. I don't know how to explain it but I'm sure everyone has felt this way at some point in their life.

4 Days!! I had my Bariatric Education Class yesterday at the hospital. It's a little late in the game for me to have that, but it's required. There were a few other people in the same boat. They went over what to expect while you're in the hospital. They tell you about all the tubes and medications that you may have when you wake up. I'm pretty sure my doctor doesn't do the pain pump and they told me the other day no catheter. The nurse in the class did say that many surgeons (at least at this hospital) prescribe a blood thinner medication after surgery that is done with [self] injections like insulin shots. I can say without a doubt that NO ONE in the room expected that one. Not too many expected the catheter conversation either. I haven't heard the blood thinner thing as of yet, but when I asked my friend at work about it she did recall having to do that.

They went over the incentive spirometer for breathing practice. I was the only dumb ass in the class that wasn't paying attention when she said to inhale and I was turning purple trying to blow into it. When I raised my hand to tell her that mine was defective, she looked at me and said, "Don't forget everyone, you need to inhale, not exhale." Much to my dismay, everyone was looking at me as well and I just said, "Oh, that would help. I guess it does work." Duh!! The rest of the class was more of a review of what I already knew and pretty much they couldn't tell you anything as a definite. If you asked them a questionable question they would just defer you to your surgeon. So, pretty much it was a bunch of answers to go check with your surgeon. There were a few helpful things in there I suppose. 

I'm pretty anxious these days and not much is sitting well in the ole tummy so every time I eat I get a belly grumble like I just ate something I shouldn't have. I told most of the people at work I would see them in 3 weeks and I sincerely hope I do. The alternatives to that are not acceptable to me. :-)

Well, another day down and a few more left. Nerves of steel are crumbling!!

 

Well, it's 6 days now. Since it's close to midnight when I am writing this, it's actually about 5 days, but we'll call it six. I meant to get to this earlier, but the damn power went out again for a couple hours.

I had an appointment with my surgeon's nurse and the last NUT appointment today. I'm pretty sure I had a bazillion questions for both of them, yeah that's a lot, but my head took a shit on the way there. I did manage to squeak out a few questions that I can't even remember right now. When I got there they immediately wanted to take my blood pressure. What is it with doctor's offices and taking your blood pressure after you run a mile to get to the little room?? I told the nurse it was going to be pretty. 165/98!!! I asked her if she wanted me to call 911 or if she was going to do it. It's kind of a running joke because the first time they took my blood pressure on my first appointment their machine was acting up and it was like 250/180 or something like that. It was pretty funny because I was bragging about how good my BP was doing these days. Needless to say, they didn't record that one nor the first one from today. They gave me about 10 minutes to calm down and it was 144/78, much better.

I have a bariatric education class tomorrow at the hospital and after that I have to pick up a little doggie bag that "Nurse Cathy" left for me. I guess it has some information packets and an incentive breather thing in it too. I'm supposed to practice...

I got the scoop on my diet from the NUT. Apparently I am on liquids until I leave the hospital. Once I get home I am to start on pureed foods for 8 weeks. On the 9th week I go to mushy for a week and then 10th and beyond I introduce solids as they can be tolerated. I am supposed to see the NUT like once a month I think or once every other or every 3rd month. I'll have to check that out. Anyway, I guess that's cool because they look at my weight, ask me what I'm eating, and if I'm losing at a rate too fast/slow, then they adjust the diet accordingly. One thing that struck me as a bit odd is that they said at like the 8 week time frame I should be at about 1500 to 1800 calories per day. That seems high to me?? I guess since the vast majority of it is protein that it would be similar to Atkins and on Atkins you could eat a bazillion (there it goes again) calories and still lose weight. From what I hear on this board from others, I'm not sure I'll be able to stuff that much food down there.

The NUT was stressing the no more than 3 meals and 2 shakes a day plan. I have to get 105g of protein and I'm wondering with only 2 shakes how I am going to get that much protein in but we'll see. Maybe if I double up on the protein scoops for the shakes and sprinkle some in my food that'll do it. I'll use it likes it SENSA and shake my SENSA. Shake my way to losing weight baby!!

That makes me think of that damn shake weight infomercial. Have you ever seen that thing? Have you ever seen the commercial for it? Remind you of anything in particular? I'm thinking the guys will get it!! I just about fell out on the floor when I saw that infomercial. If you're a lady and you're married to or dating a man, he can save you some money on not buying one of those shake weights. I'm just sayin'!!!!!!! I never said it, but you KNOW what I'm sayin'!!

Okay, before I go too much further into the gutter, I'm out. I guess when it's late at night I can type more. Whatever!

Holly Shit Batman!! What happened to yesterday? I think I was robbed of a pre-op day. But that's probably a good thing. If the rest go by that quickly I will be sitting in the hospital trying to hammer out my T Minus 5,4,3,2,1 Days & Counting blog post.

I have really got to stop reading posts on OH for a bit. I am having issues with keeping my mouth closed when I see people post crazy shit. I think there are people on this board that secretly want you to fail. Why? Maybe because they are not doing as well as they want so if everyone else fails they will look better? I don't know. Plus everyone on here won't leave you alone about your decision if you decide to cross-post on another board to be helpful. I have posted on the VSG, DS, and Canadian boards and pretty much all 3 boards there's someone on there who is trying to sell me on their surgery being the best option for me. Maybe it is, I don't know.

It's not too late to stop really, but I've done the research and RNY seems to be the one I need. Why do I keep looking back? You also see a lot of enabling on this board too. Someone posts about their problems and instead of being real with the person they get all sympathetic and understanding. Bullshit, if someone is doing something they shouldn't be doing, you've got to tell them. Don't tell them it's okay and just hope things get better for them. You know?!! Example: (Dumbass says:) Hey guys, I'm having so much trouble with dumping right now. I only eat 6,000 grams of sugar a day and I can't figure out why I dump and haven't lost any weight. (Helpful Enabler Says:) Oh it's okay. Just try to cut back on the sugar a little bit gradually. You've lost a lot of weight already so you are doing good. This stall will just go by pretty soon. Try to increase your protein too. Maybe that will help with the sugar cravings. What a real poster should be saying!: WTF!! Are you nuts!!?? Quit eating the sugar dumb ass! If you can't figure out why you're dumping and not losing weight when you eat all that sugar then perhaps you should have your surgery reversed.

Seriously people. Are there surgeons out there that don't tell people what to expect? Are there people out there with Al Gore's Internet available at the local library that can't get off their ass and go read about what they are getting ready to do to their bodies? You can post on OH, but you can't read about the surgery before you have it. Or maybe you just don't believe what you read. You really don't have to believe it all, but when you come on this site and read through the blogs and forum posts you should get a sense of the amount of changes required to have surgery.

Okay, enough venting. Can you tell I've been reading a bit too much?

Blog blog blog blog blog blog.....something something something, blog.

Yep, I'm trying but nothing's coming out. I think I'm just trying to avoid thinking about it really.

I think by next Monday I will have gone completely nuts though. I keep wondering if this is THE decision I should be making. I don't really worry about what everyone else thinks necessarily. I just keep wondering myself if it's the right thing. If I don't give myself time to really think about it perhaps the day will just come and go before I realize what's going on. :-)

I missed a day. That's probably a good thing. I think it means that I wasn't thinking as much about the surgery as I usually do. So many things going through the head about after the surgery and I mean wayyyyy after like years down the road. Am I really up for this lifetime change? It's odd that I keep putting myself through this because I know a couple people that are 5-10+ years out and they are fine. They eat what they want, just not as much of it. One of them, however, REALLY eats what he wants and that guy scares me some. He eats what, when, how much, bla bla bla he wants. Of course the weight has come back on for him.

When I first met him and found out he had surgery he was pretty slim. You could see the excess skin but he was slim. He had the surgery done right after high school and he apparently had a pretty rough youth I think. Since his surgery he has gone up and down in weight a lot. He's had complications that he has caused on his own with smoking, drinking, just all around rough behavior. I won't get into much more of his personal life. He is my role model for what NOT to do essentially. Before I really put in a lot of research into WLS I didn't think much of what he was doing and I couldn't figure out why someone with WLS could gain weight. Now that I have researched it, wow, he's doing everything wrong. I've talked to him some about it, and he knows what he's doing, but he still doesn't seem to care much. He has the attitude that he had this done before he really knew what he was doing so whatever.

I have a good feeling about this surgery and how it's going to help me. I am still nervous, scared, whatever, but I think I'm ready. Someone in my office (yes you know who you are because you are probably reading this now that we are "hooked up" on OH) has really been my inspiration and motivation. Her and I were considering this when our insurance at work changed. She did it and I chose to try to do it myself one more time. I have watched as she did it and as I "failed" one more time. She never once harped on me or tried to talk me into or out of anything. She simply supports me when I ask her questions. She recently made me a cookbook for liquids, mushies, and meals. What a friend!

Something kind of interesting happened to me the other day I almost forgot to put in here. I didn't think much about what was going on until a few hours later. I have a file on my home computer with all my usernames and passwords for various web pages like our cell phones, electric bill, all that stuff. My wife has taken no interest in this stuff ever. The other day she asked me if I could show her that file so she could add some of her own stuff to it. So I did. A few hours later it kind of hit me. She wanted to know where this was, just in case. Just in case something happens on the operating table!! I know in my head that it's the proper thing and I now plan to make sure that all things like that are taken care of before-hand, but I was just a little stunned for about a day. Not at the thought of dying, but that she had to think about that. Kind of creepy.

Well that's enough writing for two days I guess. I suppose that the real rants will begin post-op when I'm pissed about pain and food or lack thereof. Damn!!! 10 Friggin' Days!!!

Today I made a post with some advice that I think I want to put in my blog in case someone ever reads mine.

Here is some advice for you too. These forums are GREAT when you need some information or to vent. However, a lot of what gets posted on here are issues that people are having so it can be a bit scary to hear nothing but problems. It's like those "How's My Driving" bumper stickers. How many people do you think call that number and say, "His/her driving is great!"? Not nearly as many as who call and complain. So on this and other forums you are going to hear more about people that need help than people with success stories. My suggestion, and what I've been doing, is going to the profiles of the people that are giving helpful responses and reading their blogs and stories. The majority of them are successful. Yes they probably had some struggles, but usually their blogs and stories talk about how they overcame them to succeed. Stop reading the horror stories. There's more good stuff than bad, but you have to look for the good stuff sometimes whereas the bad tends to just be there.

That's about all I have to say for today.

Click on this button to follow a link to BariatricChoice.com and if you register using the referral code that it comes up with we both get 10 dollars off. I'm putting this on all my posts now so I can save some cash!!!