dancerchick06
I am going to try and be more vigilant about this...
Dec 18, 2014
It has definitely been awhile. It has been a very quick 4 months since I have written. I have finished my fall semester at school, I have been denied and switched insurance and denied again. I have been put on medication for ADD, and started having heart problems. I'll start at the beginning...
In September I was diagnosed with ADD and put on medication for it. I can't believe how much less I have to make my brain work. It was a constant endeavor with my brain; focus, focus, focus. I was putting myself through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy without knowing it; trying to train my brain to ignore the outside noises and stimuli and focus on what was at hand. Without any work at all, I got A's and B's in school...okay I tried a little.
I tried and tried to get insurance to follow through but I was told Cigna wouldn't cover unless you had a special plan and that plan had to be added through my husbands job. Alas, I was told they would add it at renewal time in January. The owner had, had it and wouldn't hesitate to put it on, or so I thought. Turns out, 60k on their part was not worth it when all I had to pay was 15k. I was devastated....my husband finally looked at me and said, "I know we have been trying to save up but you WILL get this surgery and we will pay for it on our own. So a couple months later, we have finally finished saving up and will pay cash.
My surgeon tried to get me to switch to the sleeve and said it would be less complicated on his part even though more expensive on mine. Like never before, I stood my ground and said I wanted the RNY and only that. I had done the most research on it and I wouldn't be turning all that time wasted.
I had a mild heart attack in the middle of November and even though the doctor was very concerned, she realizes I will be getting surgery and told me it would be okay. Let's just hope I pass my pre-admission tests and lab work. I have heard the EKG and stress test are pretty ridic but hopefully it will work out. I have come way too far to be pushed back down.
On that note...It has been made VERY clear by every member of my family BESIDES my husband. Even my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have told my husband their views. It is so hard to keep a clear mind when everyone is fogging it up. I am praying I won't lose my nerve the night before. I WILL do this...for me....for my sister....for my life....for my future children!
I have a surgery date of January 7th. Horrible timing for a few reasons:
1. My husband's birthday is that day.
2. My sister died a year ago on the 8th.
3. I go to school less than a week after surgery, about 3 days after I come home from the hospital.
I will not cancel for these reasons:
1. This is a start to a new life. My sister would have wanted it this way.
2. My husband supports me no matter what and I would rather be here for 60 more birthdays if I miss one.
3. I will be pretty much out of it for the anniversary of my sister's death...which will be to my benefit.
4. I will get busy right away and get in to a routine.
I know I can do this...I just wish my family knew that. I know writing helps and it clears my head. Also, seeing all these wonderful before and after photos and planning my vacations for next year. I will be a Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding, do some sea kayaking, let my husband teach me how to climb, and go on adventures of all kind. I will do this for ME!
-S
