Dandee
It amazes me that the stories tend to be the same, just different names, places and events.
I have been heavy since I was in 2nd grade, it was the year I got glasses (double whammy) and I realized just how abusive my stepfather was to my mom. (ouch)
Food has been my comfort, my friend, my enemy, my joy, my pain and my companion for as long as I can remember. It was the one thing that never rejected me, abused me or broke a promise. Food made me feel better, only to leave me heavier and heavier. Then I ate because I was heavy. I am scared that the friendship is ending, but I am excited that there will be less of me.
My oldest daughter was born with bilateral cleft lip and palate in 1995. I remember feeding the pain, the worries and the guilt of not knowing why this happened to her. I hit 200 pounds that summer and have been slowly gaining and losing and then gaining again ever since. All the diets have been successful, but the weight has never stayed off. I have every size in my closet from a size 8 to a size 28. (clothing addiction too?) My life is beginning to be crippling; I no longer hike, bike or enjoy the beauty of the city I call home. My knees ache when I walk, I am on oxygen at night and the blood pressure is beginning to creep higher and higher. It is time for change.
I now have 3 beautiful girls and a husband that is my best friend, my confidant and soul mate. My personal life has had it's turmoil, but I am ready to close the door on the addiction that has literally crippled my life. I am ready for a new beginning, a new birth and the new me. I am ready to find my wings and fly....
This is my 2nd round for surgery... 1st surgery was cancelled because of having to have emergency surgery on my gallbladder. Then I decided to have another (and last) baby. Had to wait for 6 months postpartum to go back and start the process all over.
