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...and I don't know how it happened. Okay, I do know how it happened, but I can't believe I allowed it to happen.
However do I find motivation to stop the weight gain and begin the weight loss.
I never reached my goal of 175 and I never got below 200. I think my lowest was 211ish.
It's so easy to forget how hard it was to lose the weight and for it to slowly sneak back up on you.
 

The scale is moving, but sadly, in the wrong direction.  For the past two weeks the scale has said my weight has ranged from 217-219. Horrifying indeed, after I've came so far. I still want to get to my goal weight of 175, but obviously, I am unwilling to put the time and effort into improving my physical health with exercise and healthy habits.  I need strength and willpower.

Although I would prefer to go down in weight, I am grateful I am not moving. I have yet to implement an exercise regime. I make poor eating choices. Sometimes I fear that I will revert back to my bad ways at 100 percent. I honestly cannot afford to gain any weight back, mentally or physically. I keep telling myself that once I graduate from RN School I will employ a regular exercise program.  At the very least, walking 3-5 times per day. Weight training would also be highly beneficial. As a nurse and a gastric bypass patient, I understand what it takes to lose weight. I know what is required of me. Additionally, with only 37 pounds to my original goal of 175, it seems within reach for the first time in over a decade. However, implementing the changes I know I need to make prove difficult at best. I make excuses of exhaustion and fatigue, a busy schedule of full time work, full time school, four kids, etc.  I do realize I am extremely busy, but rationally, I understand the importance of taking care of my health and that working out and eating right is right up near the top of priorities. Alas, I often choose sleep instead of exercise, hitting snooze on the alarm clock half a dozen times every morning, and instead of a protein shake for breakfast or lunch, I frequently just hit up a fast food restaurant on my way to or from school or work.  I am reminded of my LPN Instructors words "It's all about choices". 

Never did get under 200.  It's my own fault. Exercise is imperative. I know this. I understand this.
BUT, I don't exercise.  I am a full time nursing student and have been for the past 1.5 years. First I graduated with my LPN, and then went directly into and LPN-RN bridge program less than a month after graduating with my LPN.  I currently work as a Hospice Nurse and attend Park Univ ADN/RN program full time. Graduation is May 8th at 2 pm!! Four (very long) months from today!! Woo hoo!!  I never ever ever would have been able to go back to school, especially programs as rigorous as nursing school, without having had my gastric bypass surgery.  My knees don't ache incessantly. I can get up and down off the floor. I can handle 10 hour clinical days on my feet during clinical rotations. Gastric Bypass surgery is a miracle...but most of all, it's a TOOL.  I have not lost any weight for the past six months because I am not utilizing my tool as I should be. I realize this.  I am ready to get back on the horse per se.  Beginning today, I am going to actively try to begin losing weight again. My first goal is to get under 200 pounds. I would like this to happen by valentines day...so I have about 5 weeks.  Surely that is possible with enough water, exercise, protein, and effort.  Wish me luck!! 

Slowly but surely....
Can't wait to be under 200.

I may not be losing, but at least I am not gaining, right?!

...sitting at 225 this morning.  I am okay with that for now.  Once nursing school is over, I am going to have more time to focus on my goal.  50 pounds seems attainable.  109 pounds gone at 13 months post op.

Before Christmas, the scale was at 228.  Unfortunately, the scale broke, and I don't know what I weigh today.  (Maybe that should say Fortunately?)  Anyway, I would still love to reach 175 or maybe even 165.  I still feel like it is possible.  I know I need to commit to regular exercise, but I seriously do not know where I will find the time or energy at this exact moment.  I am in LPN (Nursing) school full time, (an accelerated program no less), a part time job, we have four kids, 2 dogs....I feel like I am ran ragged as it is.  I have only lost about 5 pounds in 5 months.  It is my own fault.  Still, at 105 pounds less than I was prior to surgery, my blood pressure is normal, my knees are soooo much better, and those were major goals for me.  Except for being tired most of the time, life is pretty darn good!!  

.....weight is still 232-234.  Been at a stall for the past 6 weeks.  I blame it on lack of exercise.  Since I started LPN school, I sit in a class room for hours and hours on end, and my eating habits aren't the greatest.  Coffee for breakfast, and then whatever junk food another student brought in that day and left in the class...Thursday it was donuts, for lunch, a sandwich, some sunchips, and sometimes some pears....later in the day I eat something else prior to dinner....then dinner.  Eat eat eat.  I stay "hungry" it seems, which scares the begeebers out of me.   Anyway, I try to remind myself "at least I am not gaining".  Sigh.

Hello!  I got on the scale yesterday and it said 233.  That is a 101 pound weight loss!! Woo hoo!!  Today it said 234...which is 100 pounds gone, exactly.  You know what?  I'll take it!! God is good!!  Thank you for this surgery!