Danielle S.

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Well, it's been a little while since my last post.
Thanksgiving was not really that bad. I had some mashed potatoes, a little turkey and some steamed carrots. I also made some sugar free, low fat pumpkin fluff for dessert.
Christmas wasnt too bad either. Much easier, but less options for eating, since there wasnt as much of a food spread like there was for Thanksgiving.  I did have a bite or two of ham, some turkey breast and some mashed potatoes again. I also snacked on some cheese and crackers, as well as some bean dip.
I was curious to see if I would dump, and I ate a cookie. Nope... no dump. I ate a sugar free chocolate and dumped. Go figure!

I had also set a goal for myself... to lose 100 pounds by Christmas and I did it! I got to -100 on Christmas eve!  Although, I ran out of my waterpills right around that time and gained back a couple pounds of water, but they're coming back off now that I've got my water pill again. Infact, I'm now down 104, and only 11 more pounds to go before I'm under 300. I cant believe it! I havent been under 300 in 9 years! It's going to be a great feeling!

Physically, I feel great. I am going to make sure my gym membership is still good and I plan to go back to the gym this week or next. I havent decided which yet, since I've been busy packing for a sudden move. My landlord is increasing my rent and I asked if a unit at another property with lower rent was available. One became available for move in in 3 weeks. so I've got to get everything packed up and ready to move right away.  But I digress...
I plan to get back to the gym real soon to boost my energy and weight loss.
I still dont have any physical hunger, but I still have a lot of head hunger. A friend of mine said she doesnt feel hunger either, but she also doesnt feel when she's full.  I'm so very glad I can feel when I'm full.
I havent had any down emotions, but I understand that my emotions will get out of whack before long with all the estrogen being released from the fat cells I'm burning.  I'm not looking forward to it!

I dont really feel much different than I used to and I still see me, how I always saw me when I look in the mirror. Sometimes I have to stop and look again because it look a little different, but when I take that second look, I see me again. But I am noticing little changes and am finding many little NSV's. One way I do see a difference in how I look is in photos.  I added some from our christmas photos in my photos section.
Some of my NSV's that I've had already are:
1 - my towel fits around me completely - not gaped open
2- sat in a booth with room between my belly and the table
3- I can weigh on a regular Dr's scale
4- I moved the seat up in the car
5- I can fasten my seatbelt in the car
6- I can sit "indian style" again
7- I can put my foot on my knee to put my socks and shoes on
8- Sex is better... I can do things I havent been able to do in years! (but I wont go into that here! LOL)
9- I can curl up on the couch next to my guy to watch a movie and be comfortable!
10 - My clothes no longer fit... they're way too big and I'm handing them down to my friends instead of them handing them down to me.

I know this list will get much longer and I cant wait for that!

Until next time!

The last two weeks have been interesting and honestly, kinda easy. Now I'm not going to boast or brag, because I dont want to end up jinxing it. But here's how it's been.
I came home from staying a few nights at my moms. It felt great to be home. I wasnt so worried about being home alone when my daughter was at school or at practice. I knew that many people were just a phone call away, and live very close.
I stuck to my liquid diet. Getting in 64oz of water is more difficult than I thought it'd be. I used to do that all the time. But when you have to sip, it's not so easy. I was also trying to get in the 60-80gms of protein, but that was difficult also.
Everything I "ate" seemed to be tolerated well by my new pouch. So that was good. I looked forward to my vitamin twice a day because it was something i could chew. Although, I did notice something, my sense of smell has gone crazy! It's super sensitive.  If I had jello or yogurt and put my cup on the table next to me after finishing it, with in 10 minutes the sweet smell seemed obnoxious! It was very offputting. Same with left over soups... the aftertaste and the smell of it when I am done is just.... ick. Not making me nauseous, just eww.

At about week 2, I started feeling a little pain behind one of my incision sites, kinda like a pulled muscle when I'd lean forward, sideways, or use my stomach muscles for any reason. But then I felt a hard bump behind it. It would hurt to the touch.  Kinda like a hot poker type of feeling... it'd burn like crazy! But it wasnt anything a couple tylenol wouldnt take care of.  I decided to call the surgeons office to make sure it wasnt something I need to be worried about it.   They decided to have me come in and take a peek at it.  My worst fear was that it was a hernia. But I was thinking of a pulled muscle.  The nurse practitioner said it felt like a hematoma or a blood clot to her, but since it was so painful to the touch, she went and asked the surgeon.  He said he'd be more than happy to come in and numb it and open it up a little to see if anything drained from it or we could wait to see if it got better.  I opted to wait. I have my official post op appointment on Monday the 14th.  
Then I asked the nurse if I could PLEASE be allowed to have more foods, because the soups were getting to be too much.  She did say that I could have refried beans and cheese with salsa, canned chicken or tuna with fat free mayo and stuff like that, but that Dr O'Rourke is very strict, that I need to take it slow. Only two or three bites every hour or two. That he doesnt want me to have a "full meal" and get full since my pouch is still healing. Just to try one thing at a time and see how it goes. And to make sure I chew it to smithereens, so much that it feels like it'd go thru a straw before I swallow it.   I was so excited, I went straight to the store to get fat free refried beans and light laughing cow cheese.  I thinned out the refried beans a little with some chicken broth, added 2 tsp of salsa, 1 wedge of lgiht laughing cow cheese and nuked it for a minute or two.  I was in heaven! It was so good! and my pouch didnt complain one bit!   I heated and reheated those beans until they were gone.  It took me 2 days to do it, but yum!

Yesterday I got a pouch of chunk light albacore tuna and finally found fat free mayo at the 3rd store I went to. I realized it wasnt going to be the tasty tuna salad I am used to. I couldnt find sugar free relish, only sugar free bread and butter pickles. But I havent been released to have those yet, so I didnt buy them. Then I saw the powdered ranch dip mixes. They're fat free and sugar free, and I'd only be using less than a half tsp of it, so I got a couple different flavors of it to add to the mayo to give it some extra flavor. It was quite good. I chewed and chewed and chewed that tuna and had no complaints from my pouch with that either.
I'm working up the nerve to try cottage cheese. I think it'll be just fine.
oh, and last night I made up some sugar free fat free butterscotch pudding. But instead of fat free milk, I used fat free half and half. It gave it a thicker texture, like store bought pudding with out the extra fat. I could have went crazy, but after a few bites, my pouch said "better stop" cause it wasnt flowing thru like the soups and well chewed beans and tuna.  So I stopped and wondered how I forgot for so many years how much I love butterscotch pudding ! LOL 

I also ordered some Click espresso protein powder on Amazon.  It's quite good.  Only 14 gms of protein in 2 scoops and you only need to add water to it. But I tried making it with mostly water and adding a little fat free half and half. That made it perfect. And it added 5 more grams of protein, so I'm happy with having my coffee and getting 20gms of protein for breakfast.

I think the worst part of all this is... the head hunger and missing the actual act of eating, like the chewing and the tastes and textures and variety. The tv commercials are bad, but not as bad as smelling the food my daughter makes for herself, like grilled cheese sandwiches... and my mom making the rest of the family homemade mac and cheese.  Oh and last night I cooked up some taco seasoned chicken for my daughter so she could have chicken tacos... I was ok until I saw her taking a bite of her taco. Hearing the crunch of the taco shell, seeing the shredded cheese and salsa and the dollop of sour cream on top.  I suppose I could puree some chicken, salsa, cheese, beans and sour cream to get the flavors, but it's not the same as eating the taco itself.  Makes my mouth water just thinking of it. But I know, I'll be able to eat "normal" again soon.  A friend told me that before I know it, this will all seem so insignificant and just a short amount of time, while I heal.
So I'm keeping my frame of mind straight on what I can have and not on what I cant.   With Thanksgiving coming up, Thats exactly how I'm thinking of it.  I know I will be able to have some moist turkey breast with fat free gravy and a bite or two of mashed potatoes, and we're going to make some sugar free desserts that I know I will be able to have too. I'm not thinking about what I cant have and being excited about what I can... and thats NOT soup! LOL

Well, time to take my vitamins and see about some tuna or cottage cheese for lunch.  I'll update after I see the surgeon and nutritionist on Monday.

I did it!
I checked in and remained calm the whole time. I wasnt nervous one bit. Everything went smooth during the 2 hr waiting period before surgery.  I was informed that they were going to use the robot for part of my surgery.  WHAT? A Robot?  How cool is that.  My surgeon came in and confirmed that he would be operating a robot.  

I woke up from surgery with a tube in my nose and not feeling much pain. I was in and out of sleep. I remember someone putting something in my hand and told me to push the button for pain medicine.  Someone else asked if the tube in my nose was bothering me.  It wasnt. I fell back asleep. I woke back up and told someone that the tube was now bothering me.  So they removed it. It was the weirdest feeling ever. That tube came from my stomach and out of my nose.
A little while later, they told me they were taking me to my room.

We got to my room, they inflated a "hovermat" thing that was underneath me and slid me onto my bed then rolled me and took it out from underneath me. That was when I had to look at my belly. 1 incision or several little ones?  YAY! several little ones! And they looked almost healed.  They sewed from the inside and used a glue to close them up. No outer stitches. No tape. No steri-strips.
My nurses were amazing. I had a student nurse.  She'd never had a gastric bypass patient before so she was very curious and very attentive.  She was the sweetest thing.
They got me up to walk as much as I could handle that night before bed.
I was able to sleep on my side that night. I was SO glad. I dont sleep well on my back. I had minimal pain and I was comfortable.  It kinda sucked only having a little sponge, the size of a dum dum lollipop, on a stick in ice water to suck on for water. My oxygen saturation rate was low, so they had to hook my cpap machine up to the oxygen while I slept.
The next day they removed my catheter and let me take a shower. I walked a few more times. But by then I was exhausted.  I wasnt able to pee enough to satisfy them, so they ended up giving me a water pill because I had gained 16 lbs of water and I had very little output.
I had some tea and chicken broth and lots of water. I was scared to drink too much. I could feel each sip as it left my pouch. there was lots of air bubbles moving around and I burped a lot.
They decided to release me that night.
I went to my moms and I was exhausted by the time I got there. I went straight to bed. I had a little pain, so I was taking the pain meds they sent me home with but by Friday I wasnt taking any pain meds anymore. I have only taken some tylenol a couple times for a headache. 
I think the toughest thing has been a toss up between getting in enough water, figuring out all these medicines, and head hunger.  I'm not hungry at all.  I dont have the hunger pangs at all. But commercials on tv are going to drive me crazy! I thought halloween candy would be bad, but not like when my neighbors in my apartment are making garlic toast, or browning hamburger... it smells so good.
I came back home on Sunday and it feels good to be home. The family went out to dinner for my nieces birthday at Red Robin... We had an awesome waitress. I ordered french onion soup with out the cheese or bread and she strained out the onions. So basically I had au jus. LOL  But it tasted great.
Oh, and I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 344. I am down 16 lbs from surgery and down a total of 70 from my highest weight! Thats just mind boggling!  I now weigh less than I did when I got married nearly 5 years ago.

I'm on my way out the door now.  I cant believe it's here. I'm eerily calm, just a funky tummy from a headache I cant shake.  (Damn, cant take an advil!)

See ya on the other side!

xoxo
Danielle

Here we are with 2 full days left before my surgery... cutting it down to the wire.

I wasnt nervous at all until Wed last week when my friend had surgery... I think that was when it hit me....  I'M NEXT!
I had my last indulgent meal on Friday night with my family. It was awesome. We had a great time and it was nice to spend that time with them.  I wish my sister, her fiance and my niece and nephew could have been there, but thats ok. My youngest niece was there and she was fun.

Yesterday I spent the day rearranging my living room and dining room. My friend is bringing over her recliner to let me borrow it after my surgery. I had no place to accommodate a recliner, so I had to move things around. I've still got to take a bunch of stuff to goodwill today and move a couple more things, but other than that, I think it looks pretty good. Then I think tonight or tomorrow I will take my "before" pictures.

I dont have to do any other prep before surgery other than shower and was with Hibiclens twice and nothing by mouth after midnight before surgery.  I think I will try to stick to mostly liquid tomorrow though.... for my own peace of mind.

I still dont know what time I have to be at the hospital on Tuesday... I'll be waiting for their call tomorrow to find out.
Well, if I dont post again before surgery, I'll post after!

Well, here it is, 2 weeks away from surgery.  I'm still feeling like it's a dream and I'm still just hoping I'll get to have surgery one day. But my one day is getting really close!  The Dr wants me to try to lose a "couple" more pounds before surgery.  He says 2-3 more lbs, but I'm hoping for more than that. I refuse to set a #, because I'm usually fearful that I wont reach it.  So I know what he wants and that seems so easy, but I'm hoping for more.

Something I thought was odd... after reading so many profiles and talking to many different people, I kinda thought I knew what to expect, but then I met my surgeon and everything changed.
No liquid pre-op diet
No bowel prep - no sitting close to the bathroom the day before surgery to make sure I'm squeeky clean inside...  (even though I kinda want to be, because it might help in losing those few pounds)

All I have to do is wash with hibiclens soap the night before REALLY well and again the day of surgery.  Brush my teeth really well the night before and the day of. and Nothing by mouth after midnight, except for a small sip of water to take my meds.

And Dr O'Rourke said if everything goes smoothly, I should go home the next day. WHAT? Really? That seems kinda crazy! Will I be ready to be at home and going it alone the day after?

I've got a date!!!!  A tentative date, but it's a date none the less!

I met Dr O'Rourke yesterday, Sept 19th.  My sister went with me. It was just a consult, where he told the in's and out's of surgery.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  All of which I planned on him doing.  The only thing he mentioned that I didnt already know, or have a good idea about, was the numbers or stats.  His stats, more specifically. Quite impressive.  He seems to be a direct and to the point type of guy.  Not much by means of humor, but that could be just the initial meeting of him and not really knowing much about him yet.

He was happy with the 30 pound weight loss (from the first weigh in at their office) and said that my BMI, still being close to 60, makes me more risky and he will try to do the surgery laproscopically, but if there are issues, he will work until he cant work anymore, then open me up, if he has to.

He checked his schedule, put me on the calendar for October 25th (WHAT!? only 5 weeks away??) and said he wants to see me in 2 weeks (October 3rd) , and during the next 2 weeks he wants me to lose some more weight... like 20-30 pounds. Um, excuse me? twenty to thirty? YUP!   Thats just impossible!

But, what I can do is try. I can try to lose all I can in the next 2 weeks. So far I've been very focused and serious about keeping up with the lean protein and lower carbs, fresh veggies and LOTS of water.
One thing that he said that was kind of confusing was that when he see's me in 2 weeks, WE will decide if we will keep the October 25th date or move it back a few weeks, into November.  He said that if in 2 weeks, I've been losing weight really well, we'll move it back.  If I havent been losing weight well enough, we'll move it back.  But if I have lost some and just cant seem to lose anymore and am just frustrated with it all, we'll just keep the 25th date and proceed forward.

I think the point of that is... if I'm losing lots of weight and doing well, we'll wait a few weeks to keep up the weight loss and bring my weight and bmi down even more before surgery.
At the same time, if I'm not losing well enough, he'd like to wait on surgery so that I can lose some more before surgery. Because afterall, the more weight we can lose before surgery, the better, right?  Thats what they tell me anyway. LOL

I'm really hoping for the 25th, though.  I dont think I'll be too upset about moving the date back, because things happen for a reason. But I will be disappointed.
I really want to have a couple months of recovery behind me before starting the new year. That really seems to be an issue I worry about, that I havent heard much people mention while I'm reading their blogs.  I've got all my deductibles paid for this year.  Come January 1, they start all over again. I want to make sure I can take advantate of paying as little as possible for medical bills while I can. The more we can do and have done before January, the better. At least it'd be better for my bank account.

Well, I better start getting to bed where I can dream of protien shakes and icy watered down water and trips to the gym!  Cause afterall, I need to lose 20-30 lbs in 2 weeks time! LOL  *SMH*

Something I just found really amazing was the ability to put my foot on my knee to put my socks on. This is something I haven't done in a few years.

I find it somewhat sad that something that trivial is so exciting, but at the same time it's EXCITING! I put my foot on my knee to put my socks on! It's an amazing feeling!

Just had to share.  I'm heading off to the gym.  Enjoy your Labor Day! 

It's been quite a day!
I found out it only took the insurance review board about an hour or so to approve my surgery!  WOW!

Bev made sure Leigh Ann had the auth # immediately.  And Leigh Ann called to schedule a surgical consult!  Monday September 19th.   My mom is wanting to come with me to the surgical consult, but she has something planned for that morning when the consult is scheduled. I'm going to see if Leigh Ann can move it to later that day, but I'm not going to press my luck too much with her.
She was very nice when she called to schedule the consult.  She probably wants me out of her hair ASAP! HAHA!

Not too shabby of a day for a Wednesday! :)

Thats all it took for me to get my APPROVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! (probably less)

Oh Em Gee!

I cant believe it!  I could scream, but I'm at work!  haha! Bev (my health coach with the insurance company) sent me an instant message here at work saying that she would have good news for me tomorrow during our meeting, but couldnt contain her surprise! She told me I was approved!   I sat here in my cubicle and cried! (and then texted everyone that knows about my plan for surgery. Shhh dont tell my supervisor! LOL)

I guess calling Leigh Ann out on her lies and pissing her off did the trick and she really did drop everything and fax it in immediately.

Now I just have to wait to schedule a time to talk to the surgeon.  It's really gonna happen! Whew!

ok, back to work!