emilymjones
I wasn't a heavy child. In fact, I was a beanpole. I look at my 5 year old son who looks just like me, and I think, how did I get here? I blossomed early. I had hips. This, combined with the fact that the other girls in my class had no boobs and were anorexic looking, made me look at myself in a very skewed way. It's self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are something eventually you will become that. I graduated high school somewhere inbetween a size 14 and 18 depending on what I was wearing. I thought I was enormous and I look back and my pictures and think, "Wow! I was pretty dang hot!" I had no self esteem. I went to college and began the typical college weight gain. I got married too young for the wrong reasons and had a baby. I was propelled into depression being all alone in a new state with a new baby and dealing with a deployed husband. I packed it on. I got myself out of that life and that horrible marriage and lost about 30 lbs. Then I met my new husband. He is the best thing in the world. I love him so much and he is so supportive and loving. (Everything the other one wasn't basically!) I was feeling so good about myself. Then I got pregnant with my second child. I am not a good pregnant woman. I don't have good pregnancies or labors. I gained 20 lbs more this pregnancy than the first. I haven't lost any of it. I am now the heaviest I've ever been. This should be the happiest time of my life. I have the American Dream right now. But I'm not 100% happy. I can't keep up with my oldest son. My youngest is growing every day and soon I won't be able to keep up with him. WLS is the answer for me. I need the help. I want my family to have the best me possible. This is how it's going to happen.
