T minus 2

Mar 03, 2013

I am only two days away and so excited!  It's hard to fall asleep at night with my mind racing.  I keep having new realizations, the last of which was that I am actually going to lose weight and continue losing weight and be able to keep it off!  I know it will take hard work and commitment but as most of us know every time we've lost weight before we worked hard and committed, but the absence of this tool made it impossible to sustain a low calorie diet for an long period of time, let alone maintain the weight loss.

I can't wait to feel attractive again.  I remember feeling attractive when I was younger and I miss that.  I have confidence in every other area of my life but I feel horribly unattractive.  My pretty face has been taken over with fat and the heavy body below it camouflage it even more.  I have no doubt my husband loves me, but I was 40-50 pounds thinner (180 lbs) when we met.  Even at 180 I was very overweight for 5'2", but the distribution of the weight wasn't so bad.  I am really looking forward to being the cute little wife I've always dreamed of being.  He's 5'10 and 175, so he's relatively thin and I hate being bigger than him, it makes me feel less feminine.  I can't wait to go shopping and buy cute clothes from any store, not just plus-size stores or the women's section of Walmart. I am so excited to go shopping in my closet too! I am a professional with a closet full of nice suits that don't fit me anymore.  I wear the same two pair of pants mixing those with a myriad of shirts and covering myself up with the same black cardigans or suit jackets.

I still have a few more things to get before the surgery today and tomorrow.  I am also looking forward to treating myself to a mani/pedi tomorrow!  I'm still not nervous either!

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