Feystorm
I am unsure which pictures of myself I dislike more: the pictures of me as a teenager or ones of me since. I started puberty a bit on the chubby side, thinned out a lot. And then with my first pregancy, ballooned. I have since yo-yo'd in the last 17 years that it is ridiculous. I have shot up to 242 and gotten back down to 150. In high school, I was 90-110 max. At 4 ft 11in, every pound shows. And shows.
Three years ago I was happy to have gotten down to 175. I met a new man, and thought things were going the right way. While everything else in my life seemed to be heading for happiness, my weight always seemed to hold me back. I can't play as much with my kids as I would like. I don't take pictures if I can help it. And if I do, I usually bury them in the house somewhere. Never to be seen again.
Now I am heading down a new path... moved to a new state almost 2 years ago, headed down a much better road in life. I am really more scared of the surgery than I was of moving, taking my relationship to the next level, or starting law school. But I know it's what I want. I was by my mom's side when she had it done, and I know that she is much happier. I want to be happier. I want to live to see my grandkids come into existence (somewhere a little further in the future tho, please ;) ) I would love to hold my great grandkids.
I want to live.
