Gillian P.

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I do not like the way the website is set up now. I am unable to update my weight, or any of my goals for some reason. Pissing me off.. Especially since I am doing good right now and down to 282.2 lbs from 310 in October. GRRRR..

Rant over :)

Less than a month ago I updated. So since then I have seen the Bariatric -Metabolic Weightloss Doctor- She gave me a meal plan (1 day after my bday).. Told me I didn't have to start it until after the holidays. I decided to start it the day after Christmas..So far so good.

When I visited her I was down 15 lbs from my last visit with the Surgeon in October. Yay me.

So, on New Years Eve I visited the surgeon for my 2 month follow up. Still having some weeping from two of my sites (reminder my failed surgery was 9/17/2013). But mainly healed now... With the visit with him (reminder just saw the other Dr. on 12/19/2013) I was down another 6 lbs. He stated that I am working hard so that is 21 lbs since October. He said that I only had to loose 12 more pounds instead of the 22 more originally was told. He said that once I am at 260 he would operate. Well, I told him I am not sure I want to go that route anymore. He agreed with me since I am doing well right now. Said if I changed my mind to let him know. I agreed and said I wanted to give the other doctor a shot until at least May.

October I set the goal of weighing 279 by Mid- January. I am now only 3 pounds away from that goal and I got until 1/17/2014 to reach it.. I think I can :)

Well, it's been a long while since I posted. Still recovering from the problems with skin and allergic reaction. Having other stomach problems still too. Had a colonoscopy in Nov and they found a 15.1 mm mass in my colon and removed it. It was pre-cancerous but luckily they caught it. :)

Also, I am now down 23 of the 50 lbs needed to do surgery again. Go me!!!! working hard at it.. Almost halfway there..

So, all is well and still on the road to recovery... Not sure if I want to do it again..

Well, it's been a minute since I have been on here. I am still not doing to well. Haven't returned to work. Had a toxic allergic skin reaction to the dermabond which has resulted in me not being able to return to work. As of today I have been home 22 days since surgery. I have lost 8 lbs (good considering I am on high doses of Prednisone) trying to get my skin infection under control. Feeling depressed, let down by my surgeon. I have transferred to a different surgeon since I do not trust my surgeon anymore nor do I want him to touch me. When he first saw my skin reaction he said it was "normal" well if you view the pic's I am gonna post in a few it's not normal. Then the next follow up with him from ER since I wanted to rip my skin off his only response was "ouch."

Well today was my surgery date. And it didn't go as planned. Apparently my liver is 3x's the normal size. So surgery is cancelled and I was told I have to loose 50lbs. Feeling defeated

Wish me luck peeps.. Tomorrow is my day for surgery. Gotta be at the hospital by 5:30 am. Which means I will be up at 3:30 to leave my house by 4:30 (yes, I live a hour away). Very Nervous, excited and exhausted. Didn't sleep worth a poop last night due to my nerves getting the best of me. Tonight hopefully I will sleep some.. :) See you all on the bench.

Yes, I cheated on my liquid diet. I was starving and everyone at work was telling me I looked like crap. They kept telling me to eat something, eat something, eat something.. and so I gave in. I ate.. I didn't do bad don't get me wrong. I had 1 chicken tender plain and a spinach Leaf salad (just about five bites) with tomatoes, onion,peppers.

I feel awful. Not as in because of eating but the fact that I cheated. But I also feel so much better. I don't feel sick anymore. I am back to the liquid diet today and feeling strong.. 3 days and a wake up til surgery hope I didn't screw myself.

I am starving. My physicians pre-op diet consists of only 20 grams of protein. Most of the shakes contain that in one serving with only 6 oz of fluid. No juices. Only water or milk (which counts as a protein so then you are over). I can have broth (counts towards protein), sugar free jello (unlimited but I hate jello), sugar free pudding (counts towards protein) or sugar free ice pops. 

On day two and i have dark rings under my eyes already. Gained 6 lbs instead of loosing which was the point of me starting my diet earlier. Frustrated. hungry. grumpy and feeling weak. Need to drink at least 64 oz of water/fluids. I drink way more than that. Usually i drink 126 oz of water a day.  8 more days of this shit.

Is anyone else,s doctors this strict on the liquid diet?

Okay I was told my pre-op was monday 9/9/2013 and would start my liquid diet on 9/10/2013. Well, yesterday after the last "nutrution class" I was called to the side by my surgeon's NP and she asked to weigh me. Well, apparently the last weight they had on me was 3/2012. (Not my fault they didn't get one in December when I was in the office). And according to them I could be cancelled since I gained 7 lbs from then til now. Really.. Really 7 lbs gained in a year and a few months and you want to cancel my surgery because I signed a contract in 2011 stating that I wouldn't gain 5lbs over the 1st appointments weight. I don't even remember what I did last week more less 2 years ago. So she suggested to do the liquid diet 2 days earlier (starting this saturday) to get me down at least 2-3 lbs before my pre-op. I don't mind doing the diet it was just how it was approached.

Only 17 more days until surgery and I am so stoked. I can't believe how fast time has gone. Still feeling a little nervous but more excited than anything.

I am also feeling a little frustrated by other's negative comments of how they have seen so many people fail and how I need to follow the diets and exercise,exercise and exercise. How I probably won't like my body afterwards since I will probably have sagging skin.. How they have seen people blow back up.

Well needless to say I am taking the bull dozer to the negativity and praying for strength and support I will need to successfully defy what I have been told all my life. "you are always going to be fat".

Wish me luck 17 more days until I take my spot on the "Looser Bench"