Gramgal

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Surgery, Wed.Feb 8.  Back to work Tues. Feb 14.  Did I go back too soon?  Maybe, cause I was really worn out at the end of the day, but I survived and I felt more organized at work.  Constipation is the monster in the closet right now.  Trying to get the big C under control.  2 stool softeners in the pm and 1 ts. miralax in the am.  And we'll see how it goes.......

Had surgery February 8.  Came come February 9.  Today is the 11th.  Surgery went smoothly.  I had already lost 30 lbs and doctor said, "If you lost another 30 lbs you wouldn't need this.  I said, getting it off and keeping it off are two very different things.  I wasn't as nervous as I thought I should have been, but asked for a small dose of "something" to help with nerves.  I asked if they could give the rest of my dose to my husband (haha).  I did not feel well when I got to my room.  I was nauseous and very tired.  Tried to walk some, but it was difficult.  I just wanted to sleep and no one would let me.  I felt a bad headache coming on, as if everything else wasn't enough.  My last nurse, a very big guy, turned out to be THE BEST.  He changed my pain meds, took me off iv, got the catheter out.  My husband guarded the door and I finally slept for about 3 hours.  When I woke I was ready to walk, drink and pee on my own.  I was ready to go home.  Home brings new challenges.  First day, did not get in my required protein, nor liquid.  Today I am doing better.  It is hard when you have so many rules to follow.  Don't take pills together.  Wait 15 minutes apart. Don't take calcium citrate within 2 to 4 hours of your multivitamin.  Do take the calcium citrate 3 times per day and do take the multivitamin twice a day.  Wait 30 minutes after drinking to begin any meal.  Take 30 minutes per meal, to consume 2 oz of food.  Wait 30 minutes after eating a meal to begin drinking fluids again.  Try to get 70 to 90 grams of protein in every day.  Drink a minimum of 48 to 64 oz of liquid daily.  Remember to take blood thinning shot twice a day at the same time each day.  There's more, but my point...Anybody who thinks this is the easy way out, needs to read this blog and do their research.  I know every doctor is different, but I am doing my best to be compliant and have the best results possible with this surgery.  I am not complaining.  Do I sound like I am complaining?  I hope not.  I am actually quite grateful.  Grateful that my insurance approved my surgery.  Grateful that I found a great surgeron. (Dr. Mandelbaum)  Grateful that I have such a supportive and loving husband (who is giving me my shots), and grateful that I had the courage to take this step toward recovery to a healthy new me!

Had my pre-op tests done today.  Gall Bladder Ultra Sound (no evidence of stones) - Chest X-Ray (clear) - Upper GI  with chalky, yucky white stuff (found fatty liver & hiatal hernia) - EKG (good). Blood tests have not come back yet. 

Just got a text from Walmart, Dr. has called in Lovenox blood thinners (self injections) for 2 weeks following surgery.  (Seven Hundred Seventy Seven Dollars)  so I gather we are still "full steam ahead"  

BTW, I still have not told anyone about my surgery.  Of course my husband knows, but no one else.  I am feeling some guilt and angst, but I really should tell them.  I'll be like Scarlet and do it tomorrow. 

Surgery has been approved.  Thank you Jesus!  Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather when they called me today and said that surgery was approved in only 6 days!  I didn't even know they had submitted.  Thought I had to wait until June to submit.  Now I'm on the fast track, with surgery scheduled for February 8, 2012.  Today should have been the start of my pre-op diet, but I didn't hear from Weight Loss Center until this afternoon.  I was still eating my lunch!  So I started pre-op diet this evening.  I am still in shock. This morning I wrote a (really bad) poem, but I will put it here because it's from my heart, and I don't want to forget it.  It's not really a poem:

Do you see me? In here - under all these layers? You've kept me hidden for so long. Do you even remember me?
Do you know who I am? You once loved me, cared for me and wanted to keep me safe. 
So safe that you hid me away. 

I am still here, buried under all your fears.  I still feel what you feel. Love - Hope - Desire
Release me.  Peel back the layers of fear. It's time to become the person we should be.
We can do this together.  We can feel the fabric of life.  Joy - Fear - Pain - Love - Guilt - Sorrow
We might touch the garments of emotion, but we will not wear them.  There will be no more shame.
Exposed to the world, embracing each other, we will re-enter the human race to live, forgive & receive forgiveness.

Met with dietician again.  Took in all my food records and she approved them.  I lost 3 lbs in 3 weeks, but was I hungry!  The same day, I went to required 2nd Pre-op meeting. The last thing: my insurance requires 6 months of unsuccessful medically supervised weight loss and I have 4 1/2 more months to go.  Arrrg! If I keep losing at the same rate, I could fall under 35 BMI and insurance will deny me . 

On a different note, I am taking a different blood pressure medication, as the Lisinopril made me cough so hard I couldn't sleep.  Took my BP at Kroger tonight, it was 158/74.  That's high considering I am taking new med twice a day. 

I met the registered dietician December 29, 2011.  I was supposed to take in 3 days worth of food records.  Since I am the queen of TMI I took all 19 days of my food records.  Of course most of them were during the holidays, and I had truthfully logged EVERYTHING I had eaten.  RD saw all the high sugar and high fat "holiday" junk on my records and told me to go home and keep trying.  Avoid fat & sugar, increase protein.  I see her again January 19. Will attend 2nd Pre-Op meeting the same night. 
Will they finally submit request to my insurance?  Maybe, but then again, I may have to wait till I have completed all 6 months of Medically Supervised Weight Loss attempts.  Sigh....

Went to 1st Pre-Op Meeting today.  2 of the nicest ladies came & talked about their surgeries.  They had both had RYN.  I hope next time they have someone who had the Gastric Sleeve.  I look forward to the next meeting. 

Heard from the Psychiatrist today, He told me I was an overeater.....  
However he said that he would approve me and I am not psychotic!  He wants me to get a written food plan from the dietician and adhere to it for 2 or three months.  So I talked to the dietician tonight and she said they do not use written food plans.  She gave me some good info though and I'm workin it.

Attended weight loss seminar. CHECK
1st visit with Surgeon. CHECK
Met with psychologist. CHECK
Scheduled appointment with dietician. CHECK
Lab work. CHECK
Attend 1st Pre-Op Meeting. IN 2 DAYS

So, I meet with the weight loss nurse for the first time in 3 days.  But I have been faithful with my lunch dates at the YMCA.  Eliptical 3 days a week for 32 minutes.  Bike 1 day, 32 minutes. And my treat, swimming on Fridays!  I printed off the food guidlines for post op surgery and have tried my best to live (eat) from the "18 months and Beyond" meal plan.  Now my delema, I have lost over 10 lbs!  This doesn't mean that I can do this on my own.  Sorry, but I know myself too well.  So, can I lose too much weight before seeing the nurse?  The only thing that's keeping me honest is the seriousness of the journey I am setting out on.  If I give up on surgery, I know that I will give up on the eating plan at some point.  I could so easily put the 10 lbs back on, but I don't want to!  I want to be healthy, eat less and much slower.  I have apnea, so that should help, but if I get too good at this, might it hurt my chances for approval?