Tomi Light

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I cannot believe five years have already flown by.  OMG!!  It has been crazy, and I have not updated in a very long time.  I am doing well.  I am happy and I am keeping the weight off.  I have totally stayed the same for over a two years now.  I wish I could get to my goal of 130 pounds, but I guess maintaining is enough.

On August 25th, my son had a bad car accident, and had to be Careflighted to Parkland Hospital.  The worse call a mom can get, it being told that there has been an accident and you need to get to the hospital.  He is alive, thank God, and actually he just injured his leg...so over all things are okay.  No football for him this year, and probably no soccer, we are praying that he is back in the swing of things by baseball season.  For me it was stressful, and of course, I am a stress eater....so I have cheated beyond cheating.  I feel guilty about that.  The scale has stopped, I know what I need to do to get it going again, but for some reason I just can not get myself back to that.  I guess it  is vanity.  I really like the size I am.  I bought a pair of size 9 jeans in May for my anniversary and well they are loose, and I am easily wearing a medium shirt.  I am not at my ideal weight, and by the BMI calculator I am still considered overweight, but I just don't see me loosing another 20 pound.  And to be honest, I don't think I really care if I do.  I guess you could say that my new goal...is NOT TO GAIN, JUST MAINTAIN!!

It is that crazy time of year again....FOOTBALL Season!! My son will be playing JV for McKinney North and my 7 year old daughter is a cheerleader for the WYFCA Flag football team here in Wylie.  Tonight was a major land mark night for me.  I put on a bathing suit and wore it in public for the first time since I was about 15.  Talk about checking your self esteem.

Well, I had a kidney stone and thought I was going to die.  I actually thought that I was hurting and might have a blockage, so I went to Baylor Plano, were they told me my gastric bypass looked perfect and that the paid had nothing to do with my surgery....I was so releaved.  However, I had put off going to the doctor until it was bad, I had a kidney stone, bladder and kidney infection, that had spread to my blood.  So I had to spend 9 days in the hospital, and let me tell you the food is bad.  I am better now, but boy did it take it out of me.  The upside was that I had been on  stall, and I lost 16 pounds in those 9 days.

For the last 11 days I have been in Baylor Medical Center in Plano, a little kidney stone caused a really bad kidney infection that spread to my blood.  The upside I lost 14 pounds but I know I will put some of that back on ...the food was the nastiest stuff I have ever ever ate.   The NUT kept getting on to me, but the menu was really nothing I could eat.  The nurses could not get it that I could not eat EVERY thing on my plate or that I did not drink when  I eat.  Talk about overwhelming.  To think that the medical field is so behind on gastric bypass, especially at a hospital that has and entire wing dedicated to it.

It is only 11 weeks until my 1 year anniversary.  And well, I have about 27 more pounds to go.  Talk about annoying!   I meet with Dr. Nicholson on 7/24 at 2pm and well that is getting close, and I am upset with myself that I have not lost more than I have since my visit in January.  I am going to try and stay focused, I have got to get back to the gym.  I only need to drop about 2.5 lbs a week for the next 11 weeks and I would be at goal.  I just don't think I have it in me.  I have gotten comfortable and that is one of my biggest problem.  I am happy at the size I am and for now, I am okay!!  That is ironic for me to be saying, because for so long I was not happy with me.  I am a new ME, and I am enjoying every bit of it.   Even the extra skin on my thighs...lol

Well, in just 18 more days I will be 8 months out.  I am doing the Easter challenge and well my goal is to be at 160lbs by then. (I think I committed to more that I am capable of doing) I don't know if I will make it.  I have really slowed down, and I know it is ALL because of me.  I do NOT dump, not on anything,  I have NEVER really had something not agree with me, not past the recovery month.  I find myself cheating, and I justify it by saying I still have not cheated bad enough and had a soda.  The only person I can be upset with is myself  I want so much to be at my ideal weight, but since I have got to a weight and size that I really like and am comfortable with, I am not as determined as I was in the beginning.  I wish I could stay focused.  Well, today is a new day, I really need to start working on getting through stuff just one day at a time and stop stressing about what will or could happen.

I have a new grandson.  He was actually born on 2/18/2008 at 10:15am and weighed in at 6 pounds 10 oz.   He is cute as a button and mom is doing great.  It was a long weekend at the hospital with my daughter and well, I thought I would fall behind because I did not get my protein in or my vitiamins.  Well, much to my suprise when I got on the scale today I was down from the 175 I started this week off at to 171.6.  I think my stall is over.  I so want to be at my ideal weight by the 20th of July.  I must keep plugging on.  Wish me Luck!!

Tomorrow is Valentines Day!!  My goal was 169 pounds.  I did not make it.  I am stuck at 174.  I have only lost about 6 pounds since I started this mini-challenge.  I guess that is about a pound a week, but it seems so much slower.  I am now going to work towards  my Easter goal of  160 poundS.  WISH ME LUCK!!   I know I can do it, that is if I am willing to set my mind to it and not cheat.  I have gotten where I am not as focused and I am not sticking to the plan as well as I should.  I am proud of the fact that I have not given into the temptation of soda.  On 4/28/2008 I will not have had a soda of any form in over a year!!  That is the only thing I have truely given up!!  I want to make it to my ideal weight of 146 pounds, that is only 28 more pounds, which is strange to me, but at the same time seems almost impossible.  This has been an interesting journey.  I have lost alot of weight so far, and even if I did not lose another pound after today, I am at the point were it would be okay.  I can not explain how much I have gained.  I have no regrets (other than not doing it sooner) It is truly the best thing I have ever done for myself!!

I have been really busy lately.  I am now down to 174.4 lbs and feel awsome, and well, I started the Valentines mini challenge and my goal was 169 lbs.  It does not look like I will get to that by this coming Thursday.  I really enjoyed doing the challenge and talking to my buddy, so I have signed up for the Easter mini challenge.  I set my new goal to 159lbs.  I hope that I hit it.  So far doing the New Years (missed by one pound) and then the Valentines Day, I have not succeeded.  Kinda depressing.  However, I know that it is my fault.  I just have not been good lately.  I have really relaxed on taking my vitiamins, getting my water and protein, and well, the exercising has not been good either.  Tomorrow is Monday..my plan is to take a step back, and try doing the liquid/soft food diet for a week, if it goes well, and gets the scale to start sliding back down, then I will be eternally grateful.  But to be honest, I have not felt this good about myself in a really long time, so even if for some crazy reason I did not lose another pound I would really be okay with it.  I am smaller now than when I met my husband, and even better porportioned. So life is good