Martha M.

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One really big thing I've noticed is that in addition to re-routing my innards, my surgeon also apparently implanted a little man in my head.  Whenever I find myself wanting to eat something outside of a planned meal, the little man pipes up loud and clear and asks, "WHY?"  I really have found myself stopping to think now whenever I feel like doing mindless eating, and I realize that every single time, the answer as to why I feel like eating is simply for something to do and just to put something in my mouth.  I'm finding it so much easier to say no to that feeling right now while I still am enjoying no feelings of hunger.  I know eventually hunger WILL return, but I am hopeful that it will continue to be easier for me to say no.

Which brings me to the second thing I've noticed - - - NO HUNGER!!! Pre-WLS, I could be full to bursting from a triple-sized meal, but if someone walked by me with a brownie, or a bowl of chips, I'd suddenly find my tummy rumbling and an insane desire to eat.  No more!!!  This has made it much easier for me to deal with those head-hunger demons right now.

Third, I think my body has finally detoxified itself from crap.  I no longer drool at the sight of a pizza or fried greasy food, or basically at anything that isn't healthy.  My body seems to crave the good stuff now and I hope that continues because it's really easy to make the proper choices when you only want things that are good and healthy for you.  I'm sure I'll crave crap sometimes, and sometimes will even indulge in it, in moderation.  I have hope though that I really will be capable of being a moderation eater.

I'm liking exercise.  I mean, I exercised pre-op and I know that it made me feel good when I did it, but yet I still preferred being sedentary, eating crap and drinking to be my activities of choice.  Now that my eating is under control, I know that the more I exercise, the more the scale will move and that really helps to keep me motivated to exercise.  Before, even though I exercised, I still ate too much and kept gaining.  After a while, you figure "why bother?" when it comes to exercise, since it doesn't seem to be helping you lose weight.  I'm in a whole different mindset now, and that's a good thing.

I don't drink anymore - - - I can't, plain and simple.  Eventually I will be able to, and I'll deal with that when the time comes.  For now, it's not even an option.  I am sleeping so much better, have so much more energy and am just all-around more happy now that I'm not drunk every night.  Now some might ask how in the hell I managed to get WLS with a drinking issue like that?  It's simple.  I downplayed it.  A LOT.  But, I also knew that my fear of vomiting or damaging my pouch post-op would keep me in check, and it has.  Clearly I used alcohol as a substitute for many things that were missing from my life which I don't think will be missing anymore once I get this weight off.  I was a reclusive drunk because I hated going out in public and being the fattest one in the room and the one who gets stared at for being so big.  It was my way to "have fun" all by myself.  It was stupid and I'm not proud of it.  Nothing like heading into the OR with a silent fear that the surgeon is going to open me up and find my liver severely damaged from alcohol use.  Thank God that didn't happen.  I'm pretty lucky considering I drank a six-pack of 16 ounce beers per night (or the equivalent), roughly 3 to 4 nights a week for over a year.  I am not allowed alcohol for a year post-op, and I am certain that at the point where I have the choice to consume alcohol again, I will be much smarter about it and it won't be as important to me as it once was.  I will have a deep fear of regaining weight or hurting my pouch and will likely reserve the right to drink for only very special occassions.

I'm thankful for this chance to start over and get it all right this time.

I will be 3 weeks out this Wednesday.  So far the scale has not been moving quite as quickly as I'd hoped.  If I'm lucky, I might see a 15 pound total loss since surgery by Wednesday.  I decided to re-take my measurements to see if anything was happening there, and sure enough there are some big changes!

Neck -                             14.25     (-1.75) 
Under Boobs -              41          (-3)
Bust -                              49.75    (-3.25)
Waist -                            46          (-4)
Hips -                              53.5      (-1)
Wrist -                             6.75      (-0)
Bicep -                           16.5       (-1.25)
Thigh -                           27.5       (-2)
Calf -                              17.5       (-1)
Ankle -                            10.25    (-.5)
Total:                               17.75 inches all around!!!

I haven't been as diligent about updating here as I was hoping to have been, and I'm sorry for that.  

Being a post-op has been a whirlwind of feelings and emotions that I was aware of, but to some extent still wasn't prepared for.  In a lot of ways it reminds me of how I felt after my kids were born and I had a little bit of the "baby blues".  I know it will pass, and every day I truly do feel better.

My surgery went very well, though my hospital experience kind of sucked.  I had really been expecting a private room, as everyone else I know who had gone through my program, my hubby included, had gotten one.  Not me.  I got stuck in a room with another woman named Martha, who was 83 years old or so and very disoriented.  I spent most of my hospital stay keeping an eye on her or trying to call the nurses for her.  It was miserable, and I don't like to think about it.  

Since I've gotten home, every day I've felt a little closer to "normal".  My incisions are almost completely painless now - - - only the big one on the left is the one I still feel a little bit.  I tend to cry a lot for no real reason, and I really hate that.  I know it's normal and likely from a major release of hormones as the fat melts off, but it still sucks.  I'm sick to death of protein shakes, but fortunately at my post-op visit, my surgeon said that once I hit the 2-week mark, I can try some cottage cheese and eggs.

I'm mourning food a lot - - - thinking about favorites that I don't know if I will ever be able to have again.  Realistically, I know that eventually I may be able to have small tastes of pretty much anything I want, but right now that seems impossible.  A thought I just had though, is that I need to transfer my thinking.  Recently, we went to the county fair.  There were so many rides there that I know I love, but many of them had signs on them indicating that they were not suitable for persons weighing over 200 pounds - - - in other words, I couldn't go on them even if I had wanted to.  It bothered me, but I knew it was something I just had to accept and move on, so I did.  That's the way I need to start thinking about food - - - some of my old favorites are things I know I love, but I'm just going to have to accept the fact that I can't have them and move on.  The reward is going to come in the things I can do, like go on the rides, or buy the cute clothes, etc.  Food plays far too important of a role in my life, and that's really sad.  I should be mourning the things I've been missing out on for so long, like running and playing with my kids, getting out of the house and being active, feeling good about my appearance, etc.  Food is such a silly thing to be upset over and I should be angry with myself for letting it take such precedence over so many far more important things for so long.  By having the RNY surgery, I took a step to save my own life - - - no matter how much I'm sad about it right now and wondering why I did it.  That part will pass.  No matter how frightened I am of complications that could pop up at any time, I should be more scared of what would have happened to me if I hadn't taken charge and done something to get this weight off.  Maybe I would've become a full blown diabetic within the next 12 months.  Maybe I would've dropped dead of a heart attack or stroke within the next 10 years.  Maybe I'd keep packing on pounds until I was wheelchair-bound or even bedridden.  That should scare me far more than anything I'm going to face on my new weightloss journey.  Throwing up or suffering some discomfort as I learn how my pouch works is so tiny in comparison to what could have happened if I had done nothing.  I just need to get my head wrapped around that and just hope that I will be one of those lucky people who have little to no complications or food intolerances. 

I met with Dr. Buckley this afternoon for the last time before surgery.  I can't say enough about how happy I am to have him as my surgeon.  Once again, even though he was running way behind schedule, he really took his time with me, answering all of my questions and answering some I had forgotten to ask but that he gets asked most often.  His whole demeanor just totally puts me at ease about having this surgery and I know I'm in excellent hands.

I also got the green light to substitute some lowfat Cottage Cheese in place of yogurt on my pre-op liquid diet.  I HATE yogurt, and I've been choking it down for a week because it's really the only thing of any substance that I can have.  I'll take Cottage Cheese over yogurt any day, and I'm happy to have at least one thing other than broth that isn't sweet tasting.  He also recommended I call the NUT to see if she has any other suggestions for stuff I can have besides yogurt and tomato soup which I also can't stand.....lol.  I realize that post-op I may not have a choice, but I see no reason why I shouldn't make the last week of the pre-op diet as pleasant as possible.

So, the only other thing I have to do now is report for pre-surgical testing Monday morning, and then surgery next Wednesday!!!  I can't believe it's almost here!

I want to add in my current pre-op measurements so I can track my progress.  So, as of today, 2 weeks pre-op, I weigh 265 pounds and wear a size 22 bottom, and a 3X to 4X top thanks to my pendulous "girls".

Neck -                             16
Under Boobs -              44
Bust -                              53
Waist -                            50
Hips -                              54.5
Wrist -                             6.75
Bicep -                           17.75
Thigh -                           29.5
Calf -                              18.5
Ankle -                            10.75

My husband had his 1 year post-op visit with his surgeon yesterday, and as I had mentioned to hubby a few times about the ongoing situation here on the OH message boards between the DS'ers and RNY'ers, he decided to ask the surgeon about the DS surgery. 

The surgeon had recently attended a conference in New York all about the Duodenal Switch operation.  The surgeon was quick to point out that it is a very complicated surgery that is best performed in bariatric centers where it is the ONLY type of surgery performed.  It is also a very highly effective weight loss surgery.  However, there were some very important details he mentioned that you never hear about, especially here on the DS board.  Sure, they make it sound really good talking about the lack of dumping, the ability to eat larger portions, etc.  What they don't mention is that apparently there is a 6 to 10% rate of reversal of the "switch" portion of the surgery due to severe nutrient deficiencies.  That's a pretty big risk to me, and it would seem then, that without the switch portion of the surgery, you probably stand a really big risk of regain.

So while DS is the right choice for some, and provides amazing benefits and results for some, it just isn't for me.  I knowingly choose the risks and side-effects associated with the RNY, and I don't deserve to be insulted or treated like crap because of it.  I made an informed decision, and if you don't agree with me or can't understand it, that's your issue, not mine.

This post is in response to a recent diatribe I found on the profile page of a DS patient who is frequently on the RNY board and apparently feels it's her personal mission and duty to convince every new visitor to OH that the DS is the superios WLS and is the proper choice for almost everyone.

WHY THE DS IS NOT RIGHT FOR ME:

The DS is a more complicated surgery that involves removing a large portion of the stomach completely.  Therefore, it is my personal opinion that this surgery involves greater risks as it is completely irreversible.

DS patients have much greater malabsorption of protein and other nutrients.  I am not comfortable with that and have great concern regarding the long term effects.

DS patients do not dump due to a preserved pylorus, however my personal opinion is that for me, this would do nothing in terms of helping me to change my unhealthy eating habits.

RNY is repeatedly called the "Gold Standard" of weight loss surgery.  It has a long track record of success and there are plenty of surgeons that are easily accessible to me both for the surgery and for any complications that could arise post-op.

DS surgeons are very scarce.  I am not comfortable with having to travel a long distance to find a surgeon to perform it, and would not be comfortable being such a long distance from my surgeon if complications were to arise.

While DS'ers make a point to claim that DS can resolve and/or cure Type II Diabetes, what they fail to mention is that RNY will do that too - - - my husband was on an insulin pump before his RNY and has been completely off all diabetes meds since 4 days post-op.

An RNY patient will typically lose 50-75% of their excess weight, while the DS promises 60 to 80% excess weight loss.   So for me, at the high end of those scales, I'm looking at a weight loss of 90 pounds with the RNY, or 96 pounds with the DS.  Personally, I'd rather keep 6 extra pounds on me than face the risk of nutritional deficiencies that come with the DS as well as the other possible side effects such as a greater chance of chronic diarrhea and more foul smelling stools and flatulence.

No one surgery is the right choice for everyone.  It is important for each individual to research all of the options and facts.  Each surgery has it's risks and benefits, but do NOT let yourself be swayed  one way or the other until you have weighed all of those risks and benefits.

For me, RNY is the choice that would address my need to adopt healthier eating habits as well as my need to achieve better portion control. 

If someone is researching the various weight loss surgeries available, I believe that they are smart enough to do the research on their own and figure out how to browse through the various support boards here at OH to find the information and support they need.  They do not need people "trolling" other boards just waiting to pounce on the "Noobs" with the promise of cookies and sugar.

I got my letter in the mail today.  I have officially been approved by my insurance!  Now the wait is on!

Looks like I haven't updated here in a while, but so much has happened!  I completed all of my pre-approval requirements for my program, and I have been given a surgery date!!!!!!!!  Yay!!!!!!!!!  Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that my insurance doesn't try to pull any fast ones on me.  They approved my husband with no problem last year, so I'm hoping the same will happen for me.  If all goes well, my new re-birthday will be September 26, 2007!  The waiting for the next 6 weeks is going to freaking kill me!!!!!!  Did I ever mention that I'm really impatient??? ;)

It hasn't even been a month since I attended the information session at NSMC, and yet I feel like I've been doing nothing but waiting in terms of getting further along in this approval process.  I finally have my appointment with my surgeon in a week and a half and hopefully that will get me back to feeling like I'm moving right along.

I still have my days where I really question if this is what I really want and I wonder if I'll be able to deal with all of the changes that will come post-op.  Whenever I feel like that though, I come here and look at some of the before and after pictures and immediately I know that I want to be like those people.  I want to sit here a year from now posting my own before and after pictures and looking better than I've ever looked in my whole life.

Next weekend we'll be going back to the Cub Scout camp for a family camping weekend.  I'm going to take a new picture of my husband sitting on the stump (see "before" picture in my photos).  He can't wait to see the difference between the two pictures.  We're also going to take  "before" of me.

I still find myself some days having a little bit of "last supper" syndrome and trying to enjoy some of my favorite things while I still can.  That's when I know for sure that I will need that fear of dumping and/or vomiting that will come from the surgery.  That will be the most important tool to keep me on track.  I think that, plus the lack of hunger that I'm hoping to have with the pouch should be the 2 major factors that will help me get this weight off.