Ticonderoga

Mar 26, 2009

You know the drill.

Strap in.

Coming at you from all angles tonight. Lots and lots of goodies---marvelous shit--the kind that you salivate for.

Keep your hands inside at all times.


Management assumes NO responsibility for:
 
Bruised Egos...

Brash Reminders of your Blinding Insecurities...

Brash Reminders of your Blinding Insecurities...

Awareness of your Feeble Attempts to....

to.....

(shit, take your pick!)

and

your EMBARRASSMENT.

First:

Come prepared or stay home.

Remember back in the day when we used to take tests on the green and white "scan-tron" sheets?

Color in the bubble?

"A", "B", "C" or "D"?

(Memba? YOU MEMBA.)

Remember how you HAD to use a No. 2 pencil?
"Ticonderoga"?

(YOU MEMBA!)

Yea, well....Ain't a damn thing changed.
Most of you motherfuckers are showing up on test day without a number 2 pencil.

EVERY DAY is test day.
and I have an ARSENAL of NOTHING BUT number 2 pencils.

oooooh!!!! 

**covers mouth--instigates** 

"ARSENAL"!!!!!!

Don't come to me for a Number 2 pencil on test day.
....because YOU DON"T WANT my kind of Number 2 pencil.

come prepared or

stay.

home.

True...looks CAN be decieveing.
but sometimes, they AREN'T.
but some of you want to test the waters REGARDLESS.
(I guess you should be commended. HOWEVER... for me to do so, I'd be giving you credit that you may not be worthy of. You have to SHOW that you're worthy.
you have to SHOW that you COME PREPARED.

That pocket protector you're sporting with the KING SIZE Sharpie Permanent Marker might give others the illusion that you're prepared......

but these are SCAN-TRONS.
This is TEST DAY.
 
YOUR ASS SHOULDA STAYED HOME.

and the truth of the matter is....
you KNOW how TOXIC the smell of those markers are.

(Pop the cap off!!)

(Memba? YOU MEMBA!)

I picked up the scent of that marker a LONG TIME AGO.
...back when you looked in the mirror this morning and smiled at yourself--for being SO PREPARED.

**chuckles to self**

Lately, it seems that I've run into these

pathetic
packs of                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             pathetic pocket
protector
permanent
paintmarker
pawns
more than periodically. 

and...quite frankly....i'm TIRED.

Don't let...
       your profession,
                    your gender,
                               your age,
                                          your ego,
                                                your "crew",
                                                      your past history with others OR
                                                                your need to show off in front of whomever.....
                                                       
...allow you to "FORGET"...that you JUST .MAY. BE...UN.PREPARED.

Carry your number 2 pencils with you at all times.
Always have a "plan B" FOR your "plan B".

You don't WANT MY number 2 pencils.
....they are OH SO SHARP.

(and here it was...silly me. I actually wondered if my failure to utilize them on an even SOMEWHAT regular basis would decrease their effect.)

g**superhero plug approaching**superhero plug approaching**superhero plug approaching**superhero plug approachin

(didja know that Wolverine's adamantium claws are sharpened--BY ADAMANTIUM--each and every time he pops 'em? EACH AND EVERY TIME. Both IN and OUT. He can keep them in for YEARS. It doesn't matter!! EVERY TIME he pops 'em, they're just as sharp--as the VERY FIRST TIME.)

plug approaching**hip hop plug appraoching**hip hop plug approaching**hip hop plug approaching**hip hop plug approa

"I bomb ATOMICALLY...
Socrates' philosophies
and hypotheses
can't define
how I be droppin' these
mockeries...
Lyrically? (I) perform armed robbery...."
       --Inspektah Deck, "Triumph"

(note the apostrophe after "Socrates".
note the PLURAL of "hypothesis"!!!!!!
I've heard people recite this verse UNAWARE of what's being said!
but will QUICKLY admit....
that DECK is a fuckin' MONSTER lyrically.
Mockeries!!!!! Mockeries?!?!!? COME ON!!!!!)

(but it's "hip hop".
it's full of "curses" and "misogynistic lyrics"...)


ANYWAY.....

(wait! wait!! just ONE MORE! I PROMISE!!!!)

"Light is provided
through sparks of energy
from the mind that (travel) in rhyme form---
Giving sight to the blind
The dumb are mostly intrigued by the drum
Death? only one can save self from--
This relentless attack of the track--spares none"
                    ---MK, "Triumph"

okayokayokay!

See? I went and *&%$# up my mood!!
I was all "Terminator" and ended up elsewhere!!

(I've said it before! Writing is my therapy!!)

I've got a LOT to let out!!
My SON...
My fear (all of a sudden) of the clash of cultures* between wifey and I...in REGARDS to my son...and how it didn't surface with my DAUGHTER and how I feel shitty because of it....


*(Hispanic and West Indian, respectively)

....Shit like that.
I'll be back though.
Thanks for taking the time out.

Don't forget your Ticonderogas!!
(i've got a sharpener you can use--its cool.)


If I were to roll credits, they would go like this: (use the scroll button on your mouse for the FULL effect!!!)
                                                          

                         Soundtrack/inspiration for tonights Blog entry:
                                                                              
                                                                                 "Oh No" 
                                         performed by Mos Def, Pharoah Monch and Nate Dogg

                                                                               "I Run This"
                                                                     performed by Slick Rick

                                                                                 "Frozen"
                                                 performed by Slick Rick feat. Raekwon the Chef

                                                                      "Cassidy Freestyle, 7:56"
                                                                        (Courtesy of YouTube)

                                                                        "Butter(ed) Floor, 2:25"
                                                                        (Courtesy of YouTube)
                        
                                                         The Doctor that got put in his place today

The dude that talked MAD SHIT behind the wheel of his truck, but when encouraged to say it from OUTSIDE of the car,  BITCHED UP....                                                        

His GIRL, who agreed with me that he shouldn't get any lovin' from her for AWHILE for talkin' shit IN PUBLIC and not backing it up...
                                                                     




                                                                     People who ROCK
                                                                              

 
                                                           Cee Cee (the Battery in my Back)
                                                                            

                                                                             BAMSmom
                                                                             
                  
                                                                                Lesiab
                                                                          


                                                                          **Sunsheyen**
                                          (Cookin' up that marvelous shit to get your mouth waterin')
                                                                         


                                                                          one o' my clients
                               (who got a raw deal, but is STILL going strong--YOU are my inspiration)      
                                                                  
                                                                  

                                                                   My Co-worker, Dr. Grieger
                                                    (who has no idea how much I think she rocks) 
                                                                
                                                                  

                                                                My children, Maxx and Munch
               (Who were born with Number 2 pencils as their APPENDAGES--you bitches betta recognize!) 





                                                                                                   ---HERO XXL, Intellectual Terrorist


(you didn't scroll with your mouse!!!! I'm serious!! it gives it an authentic feel!! if you did, please comment back to say that you did so!!)





                                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                                










                                                
                                                                                                                      
                                               

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