Trying to stay positive...

Aug 30, 2011

It took me a really long time (7 years) to become okay with the fact that I might need to use surgery as a tool to help me in my weight loss journey.  Over these past 7 years I've done nothing but get bigger.  Sure, I've had some success on my own (down 200+ pounds once and down 100 - 150 pounds MANY times...just never can keep it off or get past that point now), but overall because of my never feeling full issue and past issues with bingeing (haven't binged since 2009, although I'm sure *normal* people would consider *my* normal eating to be bingeing, but I assure you, it is not) I've only gotten bigger and I'm afraid I'm only going to get bigger.  So after I found out my job would cover the surgery 100% I decided to really start looking into it.

At first I only wanted the lap band because I didn't want to have a *permanent* surgery, nor did I want my intestines rearranged (gastric bypass was the only surgery besides lap band that I knew about) and I figured it would definitely help me with my never feeling full issue and it was as risky as gastric bypass.  Then I came here and realized that a lot of people have problems with their lap bands and not to mention, I'm probably too heavy for it to work effectively anyway.  So then I started looking around and started reading about VSG and realized that it was EXACTLY what I wanted (at first I also did not realize the program I am using had a doctor that did the VSG, but after looking at their website I saw it was one of the options).  Yes, it's permanent, but it wouldn't rearrange my intestines and it would help with my never feeling full issue, so I was sold.  The more and more I read about it, the more and more excited I got.

When I called my insurance company they told me that the only requirements were that I went to a facility that was covered and that facility needed to be a Center of Excellence.  The place I would be using is both.  Well, I just so happened to be looking around a bit more at the hospitals website and it looks like only one of the doctors does the VSG (as far as I can tell).  So me being the worry wart that I am went to the website of my insurance company and low and behold he was not listed as a covered provider.  I called, nope, they can't find him.  Bring on the breakdown (which is a whole other post, hahaha...and this was last week, I just haven't had a chance to get on here before now and update) before I had my first appointment, which was just a behavioral health assessment done on the computer at the clinic (this week I go see the health psychologist).

Now I haven't met with anyone yet to talk over my options or anything like that, so there is maybe a small glimmer of hope that the doctor is somehow covered or that the doctor that is covered actually does the VSG (since I didn't even realized they offered it, this could be a possibility), but I'm thinking my chances aren't looking too great right now.  It would figure that I would finally be okay with the thought of surgery as a tool and what I want wouldn't be possible, hahaha.  That is definitely my luck.  I'll elaborate more in another post, but I just needed to get my thoughts and feelings out about this now.

Good thoughts would be much appreciated!!!  I really want my life back and I really want to use VSG as the tool to help me get there.

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