inmyownskin

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I haven't been able to post like I wanted to over the past few weeks.
Thanksgiving went well. I had some turkey thrown into my food processor, a bite of stuffing, and about 3 leaves of baby spinach. A bite of pumpkin pie. Honestly didn't enjoy anything that much.

My weight loss has been steady over the past several weeks as well, 2-3 lbs/week.

I got a new job finally and I am adjusting to it so far.

So all my complaining about food from about week 2 has finally amounted to what we believe is a stricture.  Do I regret having surgery?? NO WAY!!!! I couldn't be happier.  Honestly it is sad to say but not having eaten in the last 6 days, I have lost about 7 lbs lol.  But not being able to eat has made me come to the realization that there is nothing I can't live without. 

I am afraid of regaining weight in the long run but I am also aware that I have to let nature take its course.  What I think may be my goal weight may not be where my body wants to be....all in due time.  I have come to the conclusion that this is not going to be a change for 1 or 2 years. I will have to watch what I eat and workout for the rest of my life.  I am ready for the ride called life as a RNY patient. 

Does that mean I am going to eat 100% healthy all the time? Heck no!!! I plan to live life to the fullest and enjoy because no matter what I am going to die eventually. With that said do I plan to eat what I used to and do it 100% of the time? NO sirry!!!! I plan to eat healthy most of the time and splurge on occassion.  Maybe eating a small amount of what I want once a week or once every two weeks.  Some may not agree with me but hey it's life. It hurts to see people go through this surgery and then regain all their weight or go back to old habits on a daily basis. It is just sad to say the least.

One thing I have realized, I do not think as of now I am a dumper. I prayed and was almost certain I would be because alot of times I would get sick when I ate greasy or sugary food when I had the band. I would get sweats and the runs.  So I thought for sure I would be a dumper but doesn't seem to be the case. Do I take it as a green light to eat what I want? hahahahahahaha NOPE!!! Life is about moderation and making adjustments.  I love sweets and candy. I also love savory foods.  Knowing that sugar can be my downfall I eat as if I am diabetic. Everything is sugar free. YES I eat candy but all sugar free. I drink my crystal light and diet snapple and have no sugary beverages at all.  As far as the savory, it is fat free or reduced fat all the way. I eat my cheeses and I enjoy it.  I honestly don't see the differences unless cooking with them.  When I cook for others I will use the regular stuff.

The hardest part so far? abstaining from alcohol. I can't even lie about this one.  If I am not around it, I don't miss it but Nov and Dec are big birthday months for friends and family so I have been going out almost every weekend for the past few weeks.  It has been so hard. I don't really want to carry around a bottle of water but most nights I do. Or I get a SF Redbull (I know bad) and then mix it in a cup with half water and some lime. Most people have no idea what I am drinking lol and it makes me feel better.  Sometimes I do the same but with cranberry juice.  When I see my friends/family drink I sometimes have a sip (not enough to swallow just to moisten my tongue) from them but only if they know I can't drink because they won't let me drink it.  I know I will eventually drink and possibly before I am supposed to but I know that is the demon I face more so than food.  I am by no means an alcoholic but I am a social drinker.  When I drink I DRINK!!! But I know the effects of surgery and I won't be able to do what I used to and I am prepared for that.  My birthday is coming up in about 3 weeks (NEW YEARS EVE) and I have been debating. Guess I won't know what I am going to do until the day arrives.

I have started seeing some folding of the skin and some wrinkly skin here and there, I think if I continue to exercise and lift weights, plastics (except for my boobs) won't be something I have to really worry about.  My boobs are gone. Deflated and sagging. I was never perky but sheesh I don't even have kids yet but I am okay with it. Part of what I signed up for.

As of now I have my scope scheduled for thursday and we'll see how it goes.  I hope they find the issue stricture or whatever and fix it so I can start eating again.  I was finally getting on track with all my nutrients and this has been a major set back.

Ok I think I got it all out for now.  Hope everyone is doing well!!! Stay positive and don't lose your prospective.

Wow so all the waiting and anticipation is over.  My lap-band is out and my new RNY has been performed.  Wow I never thought everything would have happened so quickly.  I feel kind of funny on the inside and when I am drinking my fluids.  I definitely have to go extra slow.  I can't wait to get rid of these 15lbs of water weight and then start losing the real weight.  Through this short time so far I already feel like things are changing mentally.  I have been able to see who my real friends are.  It is amazing to see perfect strangers reach out to me and the people who I have known for years who know about the surgery totally dismiss me.  I am just going to focus this journey on me from here on out....purely posting about my journey with the WLS and nothing else.