Jezeebel

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So I have not blogged in a few months but I am doing great! I guess if I was on here more often it would be a lot more bitching lol. So just to recap...I have lost a total of 50lbs (i reached onederland back in late January) and I went from a size 16 to a size 10. I have not had any acid reflux. I vomitted once but it was totally my fault. I was not hungry but I knew I had to eat. I had some left over chicken from the night before. The moment I swallowed the last piece I knew something was not right. I ran to the bathroom and it all came right back up. I had to lay down and it took a good 30-45 minutes before I felt "ok". I learned that Stevie does not like left over food lol. People at my job still do not know. A part of me feels guilty but I still do not feel the need to share my business. I went to the Dominican Republic in January with my best friend and I was a little worried about finding food to eat. The trip went perfect. I did not get as much fluids as I should have but I survived. I am starting to forget my vitamins and calcium...All of the time! Well I would not say forget its more like I do not want to take them cause of the taste. I am tired of the chocolate calcium chews and my B12. I need to get new ones. I did not want my chewables to go to waste but at this point i just cant stand the taste. My hair is falling out in chunks and it is stressing me out. I naturally have thin hair because of my PCOS and androgenic alopecia so I am worried that my hair wont actually grow back. The crown of my head is soo thin that there is no covering it up :( I guess I will just have to wait. I want to loose another 28lbs and get to 160 and I will be fully happy. I have not been as strict with myself. If I have been I am sure I would have reached it by now but considering I had surgery 3 months and 3 days ago I feel great. My best friend tells me i am going to disappear. I think its because she got used the "fat" me for the past 3 years. She will just have to get used to the "skinny" me lol. Thats all for now. I hope everyone is great!  

The day finally arrived, I had to return to work. I will miss sleeping in but there are only so many episodes of shows I can watch on HBO Go lol. It felt like the first day of school. After a month being out I was greeted with late Chritsmas presents from my team memebers, a HUGE hug from my bestfriend Amannda and surprisingly not too much to catch up on. The girl covering for me did a great job. I got here had all my vitamins for the day and everything was going great. Time flew by and then I started to feel faint and sick to my stomach. I honestsly felt as if I was going to pass out all of a sudden it hit me. I arrived at 9:30am had my greek yogurt and had not fed Stevie anything for over 5.5hours...Ahhhh!!! I ran and got some apple sauce and that helped hold me over until my lunch break. Thank god we get a 1hour lunch because it took me 30 minutes to eat my food and about 45min to feel better since i ate my apple sauce. All in all it was a good day back :)

I feel like I have not been on here in ages, 1 month too long enough! Surgery went great. I'm allergic to sulfa and one of the meds the use to put you out have a small chance of giving me a reaction. They didn't give me that much and when I woke up in the PACU I was screaming. I don't want to scare anyone it was something that happens for a few minutes and then the other meds kicked in. I was drowsy up until about 4pm when I could finally see my husband again. My pain was managed very well. The nurses were AMAZING!!! I waa not happy to get up and walk around the first day because I was sleepy lol. One lap around the floor and back to bed I went. Sipping was ok. I could only get down about a half once every few minutes. I was home in no time. I really wasnt in much pain. I only took an oxy to get up and moving in the morning and at night to go to bed. During the day I felt more sore if anything and had back pain from slouching over.  Drinking water was no problem. The shakes took some work because of the thickness. The first week Stevie (my sleeve) preferred room temp week 2 I was back to nice cold water with ice. It has been hard trying to get used to eating soo little. God knows my eyes can hold more than Stevie lol. I hurt myself week 2 going on 3 carrying my son. I paid for it the following 3days. I reinjured myself a few days ago but my post op appointment is tomorrow so I have put off going to the ED. Everything has honey been smooth sailing. It kinda sucked passing up all my Christmas faves this year but I have next year to look forward to. To be completely honest the only problem I have is controlling my head hunger. Week 4 and I am doing much better. So far no acid reflux, nausea or vomiting so that makes me a happy camper. From October 1st  (when I started to diet for my wedding and surgery) until now I have lost a total of 32lbs. 21lbs has been post op. I feel great and excited to return to work. Happy New Year!!!

Today marks the beginning of my second week on my liquid diet, which has not been so liquid after all for me. I have done a horrible job and have been so disappointment in myself. I gained 3lbs and had my pre-op appointment yesterday. All I could think of was "What is Dr Vernon going to say when she sees this!". I am determined to stick to this. It is for my own good and I cannot not sabotage the rest of my life for a piece of candy. My job doesn’t provide the best environment especially now with the holidays around the corner so it will be a little bit of a challenge. Someone is always bringing in candy every single day or some kind of unhealthy thing to eat. I have a friend who also has PCOS and she is a great support. We need to keep each other motivated especially in this office. I was going to write a blog entry last night and then my ipad wet crazy. I am glad because it was going to be so negative and I don’t need that. I got a good night’s rest and am now looking forward to getting through this week of liquids and sticking to it. My future starts NOW!

Yesterday was thanksgiving and I was supposed to start my pre-op diet on Wednesday but I didn’t :( I wanted to feel "normal" one last holiday. I ate everything i wanted and i think this is going to help me stay focused for the next 2 weeks. There isn’t one craving i did not satisfy this past week so i have no excuse. I am at work already and motivated. It helps when you like the shakes you are drinking. I am worried that my taste buds might change like so many people say once i have the surgery. Especially because i hate to drink things that are not ice cold and I have read so many people that say that their sleeve likes things warmer. We shall see when the time comes in T-minus 12!

So, here I am sitting at work closing the clinic yet again. I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while and idk I just didn’t. Let me catch you up on my story...I have been overweight since I took my first breath. I have PCOS and after the birth of my son I bounced right back to my pre-baby weight. My son was 9lbs 9oz of pure miracle. God granted us with a gift, we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and next thing you know it I was pregnant. My doctors until this day are surprised. Well, there I was 3months after having my son and my weight slowly crept back to my pregnant weight. I had gained about 25lbs in 3 months :( and then is when the problems really started. I was 240lbs and the weight was not going anywhere. I got serious about my PCOS and started to see endocrinology and nutritionist after about a year of struggling on my own. Still nothing. I would lose 10-15lbs and right back it would come. Now my son is 3yrs old and after years of thinking about the idea and having many friends undergo WLS I decided to pursue the idea. I wanted to be healthy for my son and husband. I had a PCP that was just not trying to hear it and neither was my endocrinologist. I dumped them both and went to a new PCP (I was thinking of switching clinics anyways because mine was going to hell with new staff/management). My new PCP totally agreed I was a good candidate for WLS and gave a referral on August 20th, 2014. September 19th I had my first visit and things just flew by. By November 19th I got call that my insurance approved everything and they moved up my tentative date of December 17th, 2014 to December 10th. Today is November 25th and it is slowly trying to hit me. Everyone at work knows I am going to have surgery and will be gone for 3weeks but with the exception of one of my friends no one knows for what. Part of me is ashamed for having WLS even though I know I should not be and the other part of me just likes my privacy and I don’t want people in my business. My family, husband and friends are a HUGE support and if they are behind me, that is all I need. My anesthesia appointment is December 1st at 7am. I'll blog then. Welcome to my journey!