Kayla B.

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Today, I'm two weeks post-op and can still barely believe I did it.  It still feels surreal to me.  The past 2 weeks my mom has been helping me immensely, but I finally left my parents house this morning and I'm going to try returning to school soon. 

I still have pain 2 weeks out, but I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting.  Most of the pain feels like it is from my abdominal muscles.  I have somewhat started trying to sleep on my side and stomach.  It was hard sleeping on my back, though using a lot of pillows really helped make it more comfortable.

I get tired really easily.  Climbing the stairs to my apartment really kicks my butt, though admittedly, it was no picnic pre-op, either.  When I've exerted myself too much, my abdomen really feels sore, like I've just done ten thousand sit-ups. 

Eating is kind of hard.  Food definitely tastes really good, but I get full really fast, or I just lose interesting in eating and feel like I should stop.

So far I've been eating:
really soft scrambled eggs: I chew really well, but I can only eat half of one
pudding: Goes down very smooth, but can't eat a whole serving
cottage cheese: tastes really good, goes down well
refried beans with cheese: tastes great, but I can only eat a couple very small bites before getting really full
Val's ricotta fluff: tastes really good and goes down easily

I had my first post-op appointment on October 5th, one week after I got out of the hospital.  It was a pretty simple appointment, I got on the scale and weighed 334, which was pretty exciting.  I must have had a lot of fluid drainage the week after I got out of the hospital, because I know I gained at least 10 pounds from the IV fluids.

Dr. Ganta also removed my staples and my JP drain too.  I was a little worried about getting the JP drain out.  I asked him how much it hurt, and he said "you're about the find out!" jokingly.  He mentioned that some people said it hurt and some people just thought it felt weird.  Thankfully for me, I can join the group of people who thought it just felt weird. 

We also talked about diet.  He wanted to make sure I knew the importance of protein because I wasn't getting enough in.  He also cleared me to start trying pureed and mushy foods and to do that for at least 2-4 weeks.

It has taken me awhile to write about my hospital experience.  I couldn’t quite find the words to describe it, but I know I read tons of blogs about the hospital experience before my time and I feel the need to pay it forward.  Some of the details are a little blurry for me, but I’ll try my best.

I had to wake up really early on the morning of surgery, September 24^th.  Surgery was scheduled for 8:00, and I had to be at the hospital by 5:30am.  I did manage to get some sleep the night before, thankfully.  I checked in at the hospital and was soon taken back to the prep area.  I had to change into the oh-so-fashionable gown.  For about an hour and a half, I just talked to my parents while people were filtering in and out asking me the same questions over and over again.  At about 7am, the anesthesiologist came in and started my IV.  I also got a heparin shot and had some blood taken to check the clotting factors in my blood.  People continued to come and go, but I really wished they’d just left me alone so I could talk with my parents.  All the people around were making me feel nervous.

Around 7:30am, it really hit me.  I was nervous.  I was afraid to die, I was afraid of the post-op requirements, I was afraid of everything.  I had a fluttering in my chest that was really bothering me; I wanted it to go away because it was really getting to me.  My mom came over to give me a hug and I just started crying.  I told her I was nervous and wanted to go home.  It took a few minutes but she reassured me, even though I kept repeating that I wanted to go home.  She offered to go get the nurse to unhook me, and I was silent.  I was afraid to proceed, but I was also afraid to leave.  I didn’t go through all those insurance requirements for nothing.  I didn’t know what to do, so I just covered myself up and closed my eyes.

Things ended up running a bit late (surprise, surprise), so it wasn’t until 8:30 that I saw Dr. Ganta.  I felt more reassured when I saw him and I admitted that I had been nervous and even asked my mom to take me home.  He laughed, and looked straight at me and told me that everything was going to be fine.  After that, things progressed really quickly.  I got some sort of relaxing shot through my IV, I said goodbye to my parents and told them I loved them and then got wheeled back to the operating room.  It was really cold, but all I had to do was move myself over to the table and help them position me.  I don’t remember much after that, I was out.

The first thing I remember after waking up was being transferred back to the other bed.  I got wheeled over to the recovery area.  I was in pain, but it was manageable.  Even my feet hurt.  I asked the nurse what time it was and was surprised to find out that it was 5:30pm!  Holy cow, that was a long surgery.  The only thing on my mind was to try really hard to wake up so I could see my parents.  After a few more minutes, the pain really started getting to me.  The upper right area of my abdomen felt like it was pulsing and it caused my breathing to quicken and I even started crying again.  I told the nurse I was in a lot of pain, despite pushing my pain pump as often as I was allowed.  She gave me some dilaudid, which helped immensely.  However, once it wore off, the pain was back.  This continued 3 or 4 more times over the course of an hour.  The nurse told me to try deep breathing to cope with it myself.

The pain was at least somewhat managed by around 7pm, but apparently it was taking a really long time to get my room cleaned so that I could be moved.  I finally got up to my room to see my parents at around 7:30pm.  I wanted to spend more time with them, and I felt so terrible that they had such a long wait in order to find out how I was.  They told me that the bariatric coordinator, Linda, had been going in and out of the operating room in order to get updates on me.  They mentioned that something had happened with the laparoscopic tools and they had to wait around to get new ones, which added to the delays.  My dad had to go to work the next morning, so he left around 8pm.  My mom got them to bring a cot in and slept in my room the whole time I was in the hospital.  A little later, the night nurse came in and asked if I was ready to get up.  I was in so much pain; I didn’t know if I could do it, but I did it anyways.  I cried again.  I made it about 20 feet before the nurse recommended that I turn around and go back.  My mouth felt velvety, but my lips really weren’t as dry as I was told they would be.

I tried my best to get some sleep, but it was a little difficult with people coming in to take my blood pressure every 2 hours.  By the end of my hospital stay, I had some moderate bruising on the upper part of my arm.  I also had blood taken every morning really early.

The morning after surgery, some people came in with a wheelchair to take me to my leak test.  I was still in so much pain.  I may have even cried again (this is becoming a trend, isn’t it?).  I was told the barium for the leak test tasted horrible, but it actually wasn’t so bad for someone who hadn’t had anything to drink in over 24 hours.  I got full really quickly and couldn’t drink the whole thing, but they told me I was leak-free, which meant I was going to get ice chips, woohoo!

I was still in so much pain despite ramming on that pain pump every chance I got, and I kept complaining to the nurses, but I finally got some relief later that afternoon.  They changed my morphine (which was also making me itch like crazy!) to dilaudid.  The initial large dose made me feel so great.  I got up for my walk and I was able to walk all over through the halls.  Later, I got a visit from my angel, Dawn.  It was so awesome to see her, but I unfortunately had just gotten switched to dilaudid and was feeling extra sleepy, so I’m afraid I slept through most of her visit.  My mouth was still so dry though because I had yet to get my darned ice chips from the nurse.  Dawn went ahead and brought me some from the machine across the hall though, thank goodness for angels!  My mouth still felt dry for a couple days though, despite the ice chips and water.  I also was feeling really disgusting that day.  I was on my period and I had to ask for some sort of mesh underwear and a pad, but of course the pain was keeping me from actually being able to put them on and I had to ask the nurse to help me.

The day after that, I got some food, or at least something that resembled food.  It was all clear liquids and I got served the same thing for every meal – Jello, broth, crystal light with protein powder, and some sort of drink called Juven.  The protein powder was disgusting and crystal light was disgusting, and the jello didn’t taste so great either.  The broth was pretty tasty, though, and the Juven wasn’t too bad.  I hardly ate anything at any meal.  I just said I was full.  I dreaded it each time the nurses came in carrying that tray of crap because that meant I’d have to eat something.  Later that day, while I was napping, those sneaky nurses took my pain pump away while I was sleeping!  I was nearly devastated.  Even with the pain pump, my pain was barely being managed.  I got liquid Tylenol with codeine as a replacement.  It did not work as well as anything else, not even close.  I cried again each time I got up to walk.  I went to take my last walk of the day and found that my catheter was causing me horrible pain, too.  And that is definitely not a good place to have pain.  Thankfully, the nurse that night was awesome.  She quickly got permission to switch my pain medicine to something else as well as permission to remove my catheter.  I felt so much better afterwards.  The new pain med, lortab, really took the edge off of the pain.  

I got woken up the next morning to try and pee.  I felt no sensation to do so, but I went ahead and sat on the toilet, trying to make sure all my pee was caught in the little receptacle so it could be measured.  It took a long time sitting there to make anything come out, but I eventually was able to pee a little.  I did not want that catheter back.  That day was overall pretty uneventful.  I drank water and chewed on ice chips, ate the gross food, did my walks, and tried to pee.  Dr. Ganta came in later that day and asked if I wanted to go home.  He, my mom, and I all decided that things weren’t well controlled enough for me to go home yet.  I was having a really hard time peeing, I was still in a lot of pain, and I had been running a low-grade fever the night before.

The final day was great.  The pain was still really there, but I knew that I was going to get out later that day.  Peeing got a lot easier, too.  Later that night, I finally got out of the hospital, thank goodness.  I got a prescription for nexium and pain medication and my mom and I made our way to the hotel to stay for the next couple days.  Getting out of the hospital made me feel instantly better.  I swear that place makes people feel worse while they are there.  I wish I’d have had the chance to leave sooner.

Well, I'm on my last pre-op day.  I'm a little jittery today.  When my alarm clock went off this morning and I just about hit the ceiling, it startled me way more than usual.

I'm excited.  I'll admit that I'm also just scared.  I'm scared of complications, I'm scared of pain, I'm even scared of dying.  If I wanted to die, I wouldn't be doing this!  I know I'm just psyching myself out.  I'm doing this; I'm ready.

I have to start the bowel prep soon, and my parents will be here later this afternoon.  I still haven't packed, but I've done all the shopping for the things I'll need afterwards.

I went to my final consult with Dr. Ganta today, and it was great.  This was amplified by the fact that I stepped on the scale and weighed 353, a 15 pound drop from my high weight!  Now I know the pre-op diet actually worked.  Woohoo!  My blood pressure also went down a bit.

Today, I also stepped on the Tanita body composition analyzer in the office.  I know they aren't the most accurate things, but it did say that I have 55% body fat.  Yikes.  I know that number will only get lower though.  I also had to do some sort of metabolism test.  I basically just sat in a chair with my nose plugged and breathed in and out of a tube for 10 minutes.  It said my metabolism was about normal.

I also got to ask some last minute questions and we discussed common channel lengths and stomach size.  He does 100cm common channel on mostly everyone, and we both agreed to go with a smaller stomach size.  He felt around on my stomach a bit, and then I was free to go.

I was also happily given an earlier surgery time.  I'm now scheduled Monday, September 24th, at 8am instead of 11am.  I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am.  I'm excited, but calm.

I can't believe it's been 9 days on the pre-op diet already, and I certainly can't believe that my countdown ticker says I only have 4 days to go.  My stomach has a mild aching feeling, yet I've basically lost that feeling of ravenous hunger.  The first few days on the pre-op diet, I was going crazy for food.  I was craving that stuffed feeling that I was used to.  Now, I don't really get that much pleasure from eating.  Even water doesn't go down as nice as it usually does.

I've still been perfectly on target with the diet.   I feel like I should be exercising more, but I am really tired.  I haven't gotten a chance to get some good solid sleep the past 3 or so nights because I've been so busy tying up loose ends.  I'd like to say I get to relax over the weekend, but I don't know if I'll get a chance.  Tons of stuff to do.  Maybe I'll be so tired that I can actually sleep the night before surgery...knowing me, I'll be so full of nerves that it'll be hard to get some rest.

Right now, I can't really tell if it's the lack of sleep making me feel lethargic, or if lack of carbs is contributing too.

I'm meeting with Dr. Ganta on Friday.  I have so many last minute questions.  I'll probably post again after my appointment.

So, I am on day 5 of my pre-op diet.  As I mentioned before, the first two days didn't go perfectly (they did go pretty well though), but protein supplements have saved the day and I have been perfectly on target the past 2 days, and I know I'll be able to stay perfect for the rest of the diet, too.

It hasn't been the hardest diet I've ever been on in terms of temptation, because I know that I have a definite goal in sight and I know that it will be worth it eventually.  It has, however, been difficult battling the crazy food spirits in my head.  I've actually caught tiny voices in my head saying things like "a cheeseburger and fries won't make a big difference" or "don't you want to have one last big meal of fried chicken?"  Arg, food demons, get out of my head!!  I've also, sadly, taken to DREAMING about food at night. 

All of this "mourning" over food has started making me feel a tad silly (OK...pathetic).  I couldn't possibly actually MISS eating meals big enough to feed 2 (or 3...or 4...) people in one sitting?!  I can't believe I'm actually starting to feel a bit of sadness that I won't be able to eat like that again.  Thankfully, I'm not getting too caught up on these thoughts.  I know I'm doing something great for myself and that the outcome will be a healthier me.

I am still not feeling too nervous yet.  My main worry hasn't been the actual surgery, it's been the lack of independence directly afterwards.  The thought of needing someone to wipe my own ass after surgery sounds horrible.  And the fact that I'll be eating mostly liquids and mushy food for a few weeks afterwards, too -- what am I, an infant?!  That's why our memories don't go back that far.  We must be repressing them due to embarrassment.

8 more days!

I've been on a pre-op diet for about 2 days now.  I'm finding it slightly difficult.  Particularly staying under 10 grams of fat per day while still getting 70 grams of protein.  Staying under 30 grams of carbs hasn't been too bad, though.  I really want to stay on track so I can have my surgery done lap instead of open.

I had ordered some protein supplements and I just got them today.  I hope the supplements will make it easier to stick to the pre-op diet perfectly.  Here's what I got, and what I think of everything:

IDS vanilla-cinnamon protein powder: unique flavor, pretty good taste
Whey Gourmet mint chocolate chip flavored protein powder: AMAZING!  So yummy.  No funky whey protein smell, either.  I can't wait to try the other whey gourmet flavors.
RTD extreme smoothies in vanilla: convenient, thin texture.  Tastes kind of like almond milk.  I probably won't order this flavor again, but it's definitely tolerable. 
Micellar milk in strawberry: so good!  I just had a sip in order to try it, but it tastes like strawberry quik.  It's very sweet.  It does have a bit of an aftertaste.  I'd definitely order it again though.

Well, that's it for now.  I intend to stay perfectly on the pre-op diet tomorrow.

I had my consult with the dietitian today.  She was very nice and helpful and mentioned that she wouldn't mind if I called her whenever I had a problem.  She also said if I had a question, I could come to her and she would look up the answer for me. 

She gave me tons of samples of vitamins.  As of now, I'm on the 2 week pre-op diet.  I thought it would be a liquid diet, but it surprisingly wasn't.  It's a low-carb, low fat, high protein diet.  It generally states to eat no more than 30 grams of carbohydrates, no more than 10 grams of fat, and at least 70 grams of protein per day.  The only day I have to do liquids is the day before surgery, which will be sugar-free liquids only.

I think the biggest help was with with supplements.  She gave me a list of what to start off with and when to take them. That was about it for this visit.  13 more days until surgery!

I went to Seton Med Center today and met with the bariatric coordinator there, Linda.  As usual, she was absolutely wonderful.  Today, I had a general WLS consult with Linda, an anesthesia consult, a pulmonary function test, an exercise consult, another EKG (the results of my previous one didn't get passed along, apparently), a chest ex-ray, a urinalysis, and had a bunch of blood drawn.

As I mentioned, Linda was superb.  She gave me some free samples of vitamins, we talked about weight loss surgery, why I chose the DS, and my goals.  She showed me the stapler-doohickey (I'm really technical, eh?), showed me what the staple line would look like, and was just generally my go-to person the whole day.

Then I met with an anesthesiologist to go over my history and make sure I didn't have any conditions that would make anesthesia more of a risk.  The anesthesiologist was so nice, upbeat, and excited for me.  She explained what it'd be like and answered all my questions.  She told me that I'd be fine since I'm so young.

Then I got about 4 big tubes and 2 tiny tubes of blood drawn.  Took a little on the long side since I'm stingy blood-giver, apparently.

Afterwards, I was off to the pulmonary function test.  I just had to do a series of taking in breaths, holding for a second, letting them out, then deep-breathing again. I was told that the results looked pretty good.

I went back to the bariatric area and met with the exercise consultant, who was also very nice.  We talked about that dreaded "e" word - dun dun dun exercise.  She claims that if I keep doing it, I'll really start to love it, ha ha! We'll see.  She wants me to work up to walking about 45 minutes a day in these last 2 weeks before surgery and then eventually after surgery I should work up to briskly walking 60 minutes a day, 6 or 7 days a week.  Six....or....seven...days...a...week.  6 or 7 days a week?!  That's a lot of days.

I then made my way to the most glamorous part of the day, wearing a hospital gown (which happened to be faulty and missing the necessary ties for it to close in the back, arg!), and getting a chest x-ray done and then flipping that lovely gown around and having little do-dads taped to my chest, arms, and legs for an EKG.  Luckily, everything came out normal.

Ah, and I have forgotten what was surely the best part of my day.  The urinalysis.  Who wouldn't love crouching over a toilet, trying to catch your pee mid-stream in a little cup?  This may very well be the only time I wish I were a man.  They have built in urinalysis aimers!  Lucky.

Well, that's all for today, I spent about 3-4 hours in the hospital today running all these tests, and I am beyond thankful that they are finally done.  I have my nutrition consult tomorrow - yes, dieting!  I can't wait.