Ladycrabs
Well it starts with genetics, I was destine to be big. My sperm donor (father) is big and so is everyone on his side of the family. However, I take full responsibility for making the choice not to do something about it until I was 48 years old. I was not a fat child, but not very thin either, I would say I was very average. I wore a size 5 jeans and dress at 18 years old, but had my first daughter and blew the -uck up quickly and it was down hill from there. By the time I was 25 years old I was in a size 14 and continued to climb until I topped off at size 20 with spandex and 22 without 
. Being funny has been my way to be accepted by my friends and family and I was always the clown of the group. I just want to be able to be me and not crack a joke to be notice and not feel like I'm being laughed at instead of laughed with.
Relationships with men have always been, I'll date the fat girl/woman if she will put up with the fact that I have absolutely nothing else going on for myself other than I will be seen with you. With very few options, I settled for that all of my life. My self esteem always appeared to be high, but it was just a well groomed cover-up. Being overweight and feeling less deserving than your peers that have nice slim bodies that society looked at as great was hard. Also, the shame of being seen eating in public was always humiliating.
to me. I joked a lot so no one would take me serious to avoid the obvious pink elephant in the room 
. However, don't cry for me yet, I have been favored by the almighty Jesus and he has loved me unconditionally all my life. Life has not always been bad and surprisingly I can honestly say I've never felt depressed or real sad about my weight, I've dealt with the hand I was given and made the best of it. As Whitney Houston says in her song, I've stumbled, but not crumbled, Its not good but its Okay. And I truly believe that God is not finish with me yet, I'm here for a reason and once I 'm able to live a healthier life I will blossom into a beautiful butterfly.
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
