ladydino

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10/10/06 I LOST 18 POUNDS!!!!!!!!! OMG! I was so shocked. I saw Shonda there also and she lost 12 pounds. I really think we are going to be friends for a long time. I immediately felt better getting the drains out. Rick and I went to Cracker Barrel and I got my first meal - scrambled eggs and cheese. I did ok with it but I am so unsure of how and what to do that I am almost scared to eat. I know its important though and I will push myself. I think Rick is a little upset in that all I want to watch on TV is the Food Network. There's nothing else on TV and since I'm not hungry - it doesn't bother me. I am still having problems sleeping at night and I get real tired fast but Rick and I stopped at a flea market and walked around on the way home so I could get my walking in. He has been so wonderful to me and I love him so much.

10/9/06 - okay here goes about the surgery. Mom and I left 10/3 and stayed at the Jameson Inn the night before surgery. I absolutely hated the cherry magnesium citrate for the bowel prep. The clear liquids sucked also but I survived. Got to the hospital around 6:00am and things went fast from there. Rick and Daddy came up that morning and got there before I went in to surgery. Dr. Freeman called me the night before to check on me and then he came into the preop holding area and had prayer again. He is so wonderful and I truly feel like God led me to him. The next thing I remember was in recovery and telling them they were smothering me. I am VERY claustrophobic and they had a nonrebreather mask on me and I was freaked out. Once they changed to the nasal cannula I did ok. The rest of the day is foggy but I know I hated it when Rick had to leave. Mom stayed with me the whole time. I had to stay an extra day in the hospital because of bloody drainage from the JP drains to see if I needed a blood transfusion and I didn't. The next few days were a struggle to try to get the water and the protein in. I have absolutely no appetite and don't want anything. I threw up the dye for the swallow study and it really messed me up with eating. Carmen Griffin from the OH site came to see me in the hospital and she was an angel. I will never forget what she did. I also met four other people - one who had surgery day before me, two the day of my surgery and one the day after. It was pretty cool to have walking the hall buddies in the hospital. I have so many friends and I love hearing from everyone. What a blessed person I am. I go to the doctor tomorrow to get the drains and the staples out so I'll update tomorrow.

9/13/2006 My surgery is only 3 weeks from today. I went yesterday and made the arrangements for the money for the surgery and I should have it in my account in the next 7-10 days. I think I have everything done that I can do for now. Everything is moving so fast again. I go back and forth between excitement and anxiety. And no one has had a negative comment about my surgery. I can't believe the love and support I am getting. I went to my Aunt Tharon's surgery on 9/11/2006 (already a day of mourning for the nation and now my aunt). My mom was telling everyone and I mean EVERYONE that I was having bariatric surgery. She is as excited as I am. Rick keeps saying - after surgery we can do this, or we're going to the driving range after your surgery. It seems like the last few years my life has been on hold waiting for this particular moment. I just thank God for giving me the opportunity to go through this and I know he will see me through to the end.

8/23/06 - I got the paperwork from the surgeon's office today telling me about my pre-admission testing and pre-op appointment. Seems my surgery date is now October 4, 2006 and I'll be the first case. Have to be at the hospital at 5:00am. We're going to be staying in a hotel the night before since we live 3 hours away. Can't imagine leaving my house at 2am and being so nervous on that long drive to surgery. This will be a lot better. The surgeon's office also told me there was a good chance he would have to do an open procedure rather than the lap but that he does everything possible to avoid this. My life is in his hands. My pre-admission testing and pre-op visit are on September 27. This is also the day that I have to pay for the hospital, anesthesia, and surgeon. Seems weird to pay for things before it's done rather than after but I guess I understand. I am feeling very thankful that I was able to come up with the money needed but I am praying that insurance will cover this. I don't understand insurance companies - they don't hesitate to take your premiums (and probably cancel if you don't pay) but then they won't help you after they take your money. At least I do have insurance and chances are very good that they will pay after BCBS denies the claim. Just doesn't seem real that a person can be covered under two insurances and still be considered a private pay for the surgery. On a better note - I am very excited about the fact that surgery is only 42 days away - OMG ONLY 42 DAYS AWAY. I just can't believe that I will be a LOSER in only 42 days. Everyone I have talked to has been supportive of my decision (except for the nutritionist) and I feel real good about it. I was reading other posts from those that regretted surgery and all the problems and got freaked out completely. Called my mom and talked to her and she got me back on track. I have had so many surgeries that this should be not different. I'm going to try to put together a list of goals for after the surgery - I've seem a lot of people do this on the OH site and love it when I see that the goal has been reached. Post more later.

8/17/06 - My prayers have been answered. I have made the arrangements to have the procedure and I now have a surgery date of October 3, 2006. I'm going to wait until someone who is out on maternity leave comes back to work and then I have a professional conference in Florida toward the end of September. So I'll do my preop September 27 or 28 and have surgery October 3. I'm so excited and now that I have a date I think a little fear factor is now starting. Will just keep praying.

8/13/06 - I was really excited when the nutritionist finally got the evaluation faxed to the surgeon's office. Then I get the devastating call on Friday from the surgeon's office. My Mail Handlers insurance will not pre-determine coverage for the surgery. They want a denial letter from BCBS (my primary insurance) before they will make a judgment. The only way to get a denial letter is to have the procedure done and filed with BCBS for them to deny charges because of an exclusion and then file with Mail Handlers so they can decide if they will cover the charges or not. So without a precertification from the insurance for the surgery I would be considered a self-pay and now need to come up with the money for the procedure. Can't borrow the money because of the debt management program we are participating in. My other alternative is to cancel my BCBS insurance and have Mail Handlers be my primary insurance but I'm not sure if that's an altogether good idea or not. I just have to pray on this. I've always said that things happen for a reason and I have to believe this now even though it is harder than ever for me to do so. I'll update as I know more.

8/7/06 Maybe things are starting to come together. The nutritionist called today and promised me that she would have the evaluation to the surgeon's office by the end of the day. When I called their office to tell them, I was told they would send information to the insurance company in the morning and then give them up to 10 days to get into their system and then keep checking with the insurance about approval for surgery. I feel this is a positive step in the right direction. One thing is for sure, I have enjoyed learning how to update my profile. I lurk around this site all the time and didn't really know how to update or what to do and have seen other profiles that catch my eye. I am teaching myself something new and have found that I like doing this type of thing. Don't think I'll ever leave hospice nursing but maybe on the side - hmmmmm. The latest thing I learned was picturetrail, so this is my first effort. Will update more later.

July 22, 2006 - Today is our family reunion in Maryland and I'm really bummed that I didn't get to go this year. I'm saving all my sick and vacation days for my surgery and had to pass on going to the reunion. I miss my parents who have already been gone over a week and I'm feeling blue. I didn't realize how much I rely on picking up the phone whenever I want to and talking to my parents. Oh well, I'll knock them dead next year when I can show up without all this excess weight. I guess the wait will be worth it when I can see their faces. I can't wait to be on the losing side.

7/11/06 Things can change in the blink of an eye. I've had to change surgeons mid stream. My first one was not on my list of preferred doctors for my insurance and the cost out of pocket was going to be a great deal. And come to find out they said they did not have everything and have not been cooperative with giving me the correct information. At first I was really upset with the prospect of starting all over but I got lucky though and found another surgeon that same day. Verified that he was on my insurance and so was the hospital where the surgery would be done. I met with him for the first time on 7/8/06 and I felt he was heaven sent. Everything was explained to the letter. My husband and my mom went with me to the appointment and they were pleased also. The trip will be further to get the doctor (2 1/2 hours) but not too much. As I said before - I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I just feel blessed to have found such a wonderful doctor. I have also had the nutritionist consult and will see her again in two weeks. Today I went and found some protein supplements to experiment with prior to surgery. I also saw my primary care physician and he will be sending the clinical notes to the surgeon. So now I'm back to a waiting game. I am even more confident that this is the correct thing to do for me and I'm not concerned about the wait now. I know that this will be the tool I need to live a longer healthier life. I can't wait to be able to get back on my bicycle and be able to breathe, climb hills, and enjoy life without the pain and respiratory problems I have now. I want to live and not watch life pass me by as I sit fat and miserable on my recliner.