Lakesidemom
Blogging so I won't forget (someday the memory will fade?)
Mar 28, 2010
Post Date: 3/26/10 8:48 pmI posted my frustration/sadness about an experience on the main forum wall as follows :
I was at an educational conference today. I go every 1-3 months for 3 intense days of instruction. A male physician came up to me and said he'd noticed I'd lost weight and he had struggles with that himself. He wondered if I could tell him how I'd done it. I said yes I could. (I hesitated briefly running through my head what to say exactly, we were in a public space so I wasn't sure how much I wanted to share at that moment but knew I would want him to know about my WLS in case he ever wanted to go down that path). So, against my first inclination to say something like I've been limiting myself to an average of 800 calories for 3 months, I've been writing down everything I eat every day, I've been putting a great deal of time and energy into this weight loss I said softly; "I had a VSG". I've only shared that with people who know my journey.
His immediate response?
"Oh, you cheated".
Over 440 people read my post (gulp, that is incredible) and many responded - more than I would have ever anticipated.
I was amazed at the relatively unanimous reaction (although not always a similar suggestion as how to react) and I found the responses helped me to reach some clarity on how I felt and what to do about it.
I wanted to post a follow up and did so the next day:
Over 25 people responded to my posting yesterday about being told that I had cheated because I had WLS. I was overwhelmed and my spirits bolstered. The next time I hear I cheated, I'll reach back for those words. Today, I got up the courage to speak to the same physician. I asked him how he thought it made me feel when he made that comment. He became intense, a bit flustered and rapidly spewed out his story; he was unable to lose weight and his wife had problems with weight loss and regain repeatedly. He hadn't recognized that his words hurt. He does now. I shared with him the work we do, the courage it takes, the dedication. I wanted to prevent another person from getting hurt by those words.
I liked all the advice I got yesterday.
(By the way, I let him know that I had shared his remarks with my "support group" AND that some members of the group thought he was an ignorant jerk)Well, I didn't need to insult him or be rude. I just spoke from the heart.
He thanked me later this morning. He meant it.
I would feel alone without my support group.
Anne
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About Me
Duluth, MN
Location
26.5
BMI
Surgery
12/11/2009
Surgery Date
Sep 30, 2009
Member Since
