Well, I spoke to my Endocrinologist yesterday about the next steps in looking for the tiny tumor causing my Cushings Syndrome/Disease, or Ectopic Cushings.

Recently, the MRI of my pituitary came back negative.
Good news, right?
Well, no, because:  research has shown that 60% of MRI's looking for pituitary tumors come back negative, and yet, after pituitary surgery the little +/-2mm tumor is found- too tiny to detect or it is hiding behind the gland. So, it could still be in my brain.

The CT Scan of my adrenals was also negative.
Good news, right?
Well, no, because:  I should have had my pancreas, chest (lungs) and thalymus also scanned at the same time, but, they were not because my Gastric Dr. got me the CT, not my Endo. I asked him to do the CT, so, it is my fault... I was just praying the tumor was on my adrenals so he could do the surgery... Wishful thinking, right?

So, now I get to do another CT Scan.
That means I get to drink that bottle of Barium again... 'gag me'.
It is very difficult to swallow that much yucky, thick, chalky liquid with my new tiny tummy!

Dr. Warriner said that we will do another 8mg Dexamethasone test soon.
We will get an ACTH baselevel drawn prior to the test.

We will also do a couple of Midnight Salivary Tests too...
She thought we had already done the 'suck on the sponge' tests, but I told her "I've never sucked on a sponge"...
So, she said we will do one when I see her the day I have the CT of my chest, etc.

When the next, upcoming, CT Scan comes back clean... if it comes back clean, it simply means it's not ECTOPIC Cushings!
Since we already know it is not Adrenal Cushings DISEASE because of the recent clean CT of my adrenals, then this tumor MUST be hiding in my head on my pituitary gland.

Dr. Warriner has always believed it is 'in my head' because: all of my blood work points to pituitary.
She is trying to take away any hopes that it is not there, because of the final test.
The test to see what side of the pituitary this little tumor is on is extremely scary for me...

This test is called Inferior Petral Sinus Sampling (IPSS).
It is a very 'invasive' procedure conducted by a Neuro-Radiologist.

The IPSS involves no anesthesia or sedation.
The Dr. needs you to be awake during the procedure so you can talk to them.
About what? I do not know.
Anyway, the Dr. inserts a ?wire? through the veins on either side of your groin.
These wires travel up through your torso into your brain. 
They end up on either side of your pituitary gland. 
Once there, blood samples will be drawn simultaneously from each side of the pituitary gland.
Whichever side has the highest ACTH level means that is the side the tumor is on.
This information is necessary for the Neurosurgeon prior to doing your 'brain surgery' to remove this tumor. 

To say that I am anxious about the IPSS, is the understatement of the century. 

Generally, I am not a 'scare-d-cat', but this is different- I'll be WIDE AWAKE!

I have had 4 major back surgeries in the past 5 yrs- 2 were spinal fusions!
I have had Lap RNY Gastric Bypass Surgery!
I wasn't frightened of those surgeries.

YET, this procedure scares me to death!
The idea of being awake while things are being pushed up through my body into my brain is making me NUTS!!!!

I am so ready for all of this to be finished.
I am not really looking forward to my future.
Years of testing/surgery/recovery/remission, and so on...

THE only thing I know for certain IS: 
God, I need YOU.
Please BE with ME!
Amen.