Shunna J.

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I've been trying to do liquids during the day and eat better in the pm for about a month now and i always make it about three days and fail and regroup. I finally see that I needed the lap bands help to maintain in weakness. I am going to begin going to the gym monday. Got my bag packed already. I have to start now so I don't have such a shock when the diet has to change and then add exercise. i just don't want to set myself up for failure by implementing too many changes all at once.
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I am in a love affair with myself. I am thankful and happy being me. Even though it is not always easy. If I was an outsider, I would say what a happy and intelligent girl that girl is. I would want to be just like me. I say this in confirmation to my renewed respect for myself. Not the self that I am expecting to become but for the me I am today. I thank God for all my blessings and all my wisdom and all my weaknesses because in my weakness I grow and learn. Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to a less complicated relationship with myself. I love my work, my family, and now I can truthfully say I love myself. Damn getting mature is awesome.

My M.D. has not received all the records yet from my previous M.D. so I continue to wait on pins and needles. I know God will work it all out in time so I am trying hard to forget it and let the process takes its course. BUT IT IS SO HARD! God knows what he is doing. I keep feeling like I am not going to have the success I want. But if I don't its my fault. I counld not sleep at first but know my eyes are heavy so let me go. Much love to all the people who are fighting this same fight of obesity. May GOD strengthen you.
LaShunta

Yesterday all I could think of was this surgery but all I wanted to do was eat. What is going on? I held back until...bed time then had ice cream. Oh and how does everyone else "just say no " at the office. All these "skinny bitches" do is eat!!!!!!!!I can not stand it.  You see I have been on a see food diet all my life and seeing is eating if you know what I mean. I just have had the hardest time saying no.

I can not wait for this transformation! I keep waiting to here from my M.D. and I can nor hardly stand it. I am going to call them tomorrow to see if i can knwo what is happening. I am on pins and needles. i keep thinking that something might go wrong. I pray not. Pray for me.
LaShunta

I have been looking at some ladies profiles getting an ideas of what to do and what not to do and I am finding several who get surgery and keep up the old habits. I am afraid of this behavior and am working on gettting my demons under control before surgery. If you go through all this and don't get the change or weight lose that is possible it seems crazy to go through it all. I plan on using this band as a help me out since I haven't had the will power to maintain for a long period of time. But I'll be a fool to go back to the old habits.
So I am making myself some promises 

               I Promise
I promise that I will remember to pray for strength
I promise to work hard and change the habits that deter me from my goals in all areas of life
I promise to love myself flaws and all
I promise remind myself of the positive aspects about me when to negative seems too evident
I promise to respect myself during the transformation process in order to get to the place in my life I want to go.
I promise to Change bad habits and remain the Fierce person I am today.
I promise to not become lude (like I've seen others do) when I become as physically beautiful as I am spirtitually and intellectually.
I promise to love myself daily in word and deed
I promise to feed myself positive montras and positve energy instead of food.
I promise to work hard so I can shop later.
I promise to forgive myself and others for the years of emotional scars and move past them into my new destiny...in a pair of red bottom christian louboutins

Okay well while I've been away I have had my psych eval and yes I'm crazy ... I also have had my Dr.s assessment and upper G.I. test. They sent my papers to my Dr.s office and are waiting to get the preapproval back.
Oh I am getting so excited and am so nervous. I really want this change but keep thinking what might go wrong. It is so nerve wrecking. Did everyone else go through the same? I am going to look at pos and try to calm down. I should be hearing something in the next two weeks as to when my surgery date is. So I.m holding on.

I keep having eye opening experiences. You know when you really see a person for who they really are and its not pretty. I keep waking up to some of my relationships and seeing peoples real motives. Thank you Jesus! Because each time this happens I get closer to you and stronger in myself.

I love me. And that is the reason for all of this. I haven't been able to say that for long but as I grow and get stronger in my faith in Christ I realize my own worth. Only Jesus could make such a wonderful, spirited, friendly, caring, talented girl. Whats not to love? Nothing. So I plan to be good to me now and after the surgery. the surgery is just a safety net for my down days.