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Got an intense craving for pumpkin pie and chocolate; figured as long as I ate small bites it would be okay. Nope. ate too much and paid for it. Overeating results in needing to change the sheets and take another shower. That was my problem last week when I couldn't really tell when I was full. I overate and would up pooping myself twice. Third time's a charm. Peeing out the butt is no fun, especially when you're out of quarters and have to soak the sheets in the bathtub. No cheating, EVER again.

That's a good thing, though. Sometimes a little negative reinforcement is a good thing.

I got sleeved. I'm doing pretty good; most pain is gone, to be replaced by some itching. Getting the hang of the smaller pouch is a learning curve. I was eating (hah! drinking!) too much and felt uncomfortable. Now I've got my handy measuring cup out every meal, and measuring some fluids as well. Protein supplements mainly. Water I have no problem with - I used to be a gulper, but I've gotten more used to sipping. Crushing pills is hit-or-miss. My lamictal burned horribly, so no more crushing for that one. Vitamins are okay, though the vitamin D is a small gel, so I don't worry about that. Feel good, so I think all my meds are going down nicely.

Craved eggs-n-cheese, so I made some, scrambled them up and put them in the blender with some milk. Omelet drink. Yay!

Doing pretty good; really impressed with how little food makes me full. My guide says to eat some liquid/smoothie every 3 hours but trying to do so makes me uncomfortably full. Stomach itself is good, incisions itch and the dull ache is greatly reduced. As such, I can take less vicodin, which is a good thing. I don't want bound up and using miralax again - it works a little *too* good.

I've gotten jello crazed. I'd forgotten how much I loved that goofy dessert. Yummy! Craved some cheesy eggs this morning, so I made some and blended with some milk. hit the spot and no digestive issues!

Only threw up one and the nurse said it was probably due to anesthesia wearing off. Considering it was just water and the 2 pills she gave me, I'm inclined to agree. I was so loopy after surgery that my friend said that she'd try to talk to me to let me know how the surgery went that I: fluttered my eyes, crossed them, then passed out. Evidently, I also asked her if I was a ninja.

Considering how loopy I still was hours later, I'm not surprised. Pain is a dull ache, but the vicodin helps, as does the binder. Passed out when I got home so a little overdue for pill. Hopefully it takes effect soon.

Lost that pound I gained plus 1 more! 26 pounds down! Woo! Surgery is tuesday morning with an overnight stay, then they send me home. So excited!

Seeing my psychiatric monday and getting a referral to a therapist so I stay on track. This is for my very life, and I'll need the support. Also, the support group meeting will be when I'm a week and a half post-op. Looking forward to the new me emerging, and hoping for an excellent turn-around; mentally and physically. It'll be a lot of work but that's to be expected. I worked at getting fat, now I'm going to work on correcting that mistake.

Well, thursday morning I saw that my weight went down again and had a little happy dance. But then I started craving carbs. I gave in and had some fruit, which *should* have taken care of the craving, but actually made it worse.

Cue all-out candy and chips binge...with huge regrets after. Even now, I just came back from the restaurant with a friend and had some chips-n-dip and 1 1/2 mugs of beer. I guess that was stupid, but not unexpected. As I lose more weight, I have more nightmares about my parents abuse. Makes me want to hide somewhere. Oh well. At least I see mt psychiatrist the day before surgery - she can give me a referral to a good therapist. I'm gonna need it to get over this self-sabotage record of mine.

I've already been making changes so that the transition goes smoothly. I threw out anything high carb, started upping my protein, and chew until mushy. One of the hardest things is not drinking with a meal. No liquids 30min before/after a meal. I understand that it would just empty my stomach faster when I do that. but it's engrained from years of drinking *something* with my meal. Also, I need to start taking little sips. Can't chug water after surgery ever again. Getting the water should be easy as I drink all day, but sipping is a challenge.

Just by following some of the diet I've already lost 18lbs.

After looking into VSG 3 years ago and having the cost deter me, my insurance now pays almost everything. I'm approved. I have testing and surgery dates. Kind of surreal and freaking out a bit. I've got to learn how to eat all over again. I'll do wonderful at slow, through chewing, then another meal I scarf down. I drink with my meals so that has to change. I do already take vitamins and supplements so I'm good there at least. I've got exercise equipment at home and work, so exercise is just a matter of getting into a routine.

A month and 1/2 from now, I'll be post-op. Wow. That's close!