Marcie R.
I had a previous Obesity Help page for many years, but it seems to be gone- not sure what happened. I have lost 200 pounds from my high weight of 316 pounds. I am 5'1 and my current weight varies from 115-123 lbs. As I write his, I truly can't believe that I am no longer fat, and people have actually told me I need to stop losing weight.
I am 59 now and I have had a very successful life in many ways. I have two amazing adult children, I am a recognized global expert in my field of work, and I have a wonderful boyfriend for the past 8 years, a close and loving family and many dear friends.
I have known that I am fat for as long as I can remember, and my baby pictures confirm that it wasn't just perception. I have also felt shame about being fat since as far back as about 5 or 6 years old. The realization of this deep seated feeling of shame has always been there, not something i discovered as an adult. I know that this has had a profound impact on who I am, in both positive and negative ways.
I have been either "on a diet" or failing in the effort since about age 8. My pediatrician's scorn was my first memory of being told I was fat. I was prescribed diet pills at age 8, and have tried everything imaginable over the past 50 years, losing and regaining well over 1000 lbs, several times over 100 lbs at a time, not just a few here and a few there. This included many "hospital based programs", weekly visits to see Dr. Atkins, himself, acupuncture (wiggling a staple in my ear), hypnosis and lots of therapy. I lived at Structure House in NC for 2 months, tried both Optifast and Medifast for a full year of fasting each time, OA, weight watchers, foul tasting liquid protein, fen-phen, and just about anything else I heard about. I went to the gym, walked daily, jogged, rode a stationary bike, sweated with the oldies and ran on a treadmill in my bedroom. I can honestly say I gave most of these a reasonable or good attempt, but always failed, regaining and more. Every attempt gave me great hope and every failure reinforced my feelings of shame.
In 1995, I had my first weight-loss surgery. It was an "open" proximal RNY, done by Dr. Anez at Fair Oaks Hospital in Fairfax, VA. It was such a drastic step but I was sure it would be the final solution. It wasn't. I lost 100 lbs, but just like many others, regained much of it and "settled" at 240 lbs. While this was a respectable 75 lb weight loss, and deemed successful in WLS terms, I was still morbidly obese. I revisited Medifast and actually lost another 100 lbs, but began regaining the day I stopped fasting, regaining to 250 lbs.
In 2006, after a pretty epic battle with my health insurer, I had a revision surgery from proximal RNY to distal RNY. I had tried to get approval to have Dr. Elariny do a true revision to duodenal switch, but "settled" with a distal RNY, done expertly by Dr. Schweitzer at Johns Hopkins. This led to a weight loss of another 65 lbs. Again, very successful, in terms of revision wls, and now 130 lbs down from my top weight but I was still 185 lbs at 5'1.
Along the way, I had a hernia repair, with panniculectomy, hysterectomy and developed some serious medical issues, including some related to wls. I have a complex autoimmune disease, with recurring inflammation to my heart and lungs. It may or may not be related to wls, though I have also been diagnosed with something called "BADAS"- Bowel Associated Dermatologic Arthritis Syndrome, which has been associated with wls. I take many medications daily to keep the pleuropericarditis, awful joint pain and other effects at bay. I am mostly successful.
At one point, I suddenly dropped 35 lbs, but regained just as suddenly. After that I had pretty much come to terms with 185 being my final weight. My appetite has always been massive, and has never changed. In fact, the original RNY probably exacerbated this, because the bypass eliminated the sphincter that held food in my stomach, and so I live with an empty stomach at almost all times, and I eat constantly. Only a few things get "stuck" and keep me full, raw carrots, dry chicken and occasionally spagetti, beef and shrimp. Everything else passes immediately, and I also deal with the bathroom issues familiar to many who have had DS or distal RNY.
Regardless, I have always been sure that I would rather deal with all of these complications rather than weighing 316 lbs.
Then, in 2014, while planning my daughter's wedding, something curious happened. The thought of spending thousands of dollars on a photographer and then having photos that would be around for generations to come (that were paid for by me!) was somehow motivating me to try one more thing... I met with Dr. Barry Greene, whose office is in the town I live in, not for another revision, but for his expert opinion about my appetite issues. He did some tests, tweaked my vitamin regimen, referred me to a nutritionist and therapist and with the guidance of the nutritionist, I started a low carb diet. I wasn't able to curb my appetite, but have been able to eliminate bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, flour, sugar and fruit. I started this on August 25th 2014 at 185. By my daughter's wedding on April 25th 2015, I weighed 125! Since then, I've lost another 10 lbs, though I fluxuate between a (too?) low of 115 and a nerve-wracking high of 123.
Every day starts with a weigh in and I feel the positive and negative effects of that number through the whole day. I find that it keeps me aware of what I'm doing. I see my therapist every other week, continue to avoid high carb food and maintain a very strict vitamin regimen.
I am very well aware of my significant malabsorption issues and the potential for dire health effects if I am not vigilent. I have labs done at least every 3 months. I take:
"Kirkland mature" multi vitamins 3x day
D3 (dry) 50,000 mg daily and an additional 50,000 mg every other day.
B12 sublingual daily
B spectrum every other day
Iron/C daily
Calcium/mag/D 2X day
Florestor (probiotic) 2X day
Folic acid 1 mg 2X day
I used to take A, E and K1 and K2 as well, but Dr. Greene had me discontinue these.
And, I drink protein drinks, though not as often as I did early in my low carb approach.
I also take 10 prescription meds, to treat my health issues and I am steroid dependent, due to taking twice daily prednisone for the past 4 years to keep the inflammation down around my heart and lungs. Happily, it does not affect my weight and doesn't give me the tell-tale moonface. My rheumatologist is well aware that my bypassed intestines have a significant impact on absorption and we are not sure what the "real" dose of prednisone my body is "seeing", but when its cut back, I have flares, and when I have a flare I double up for three days so we know it is working.
So, this is my story. I am hopeful that I will stay at this "normal" weight forever, but I wake up every day knowing I could start regaining. I am still working on seeing myself as others see me, since I have signficant "dysmorphia" and don't yet consistently see myself as average size. My appetite is still much greater than almost everyone else, from my careful observation. My bathroom issues have an impact on the quality of my life and factor into my daily decisions and social activities. Its a price I am willing to pay. As you might imagine, my skin bears the signs of having accommodated 200 lbs of additional filler, and I would love to have plastic surgery to tighten everything, but due to the healing issues associated with my prednisone intake and the cost of plastics, I haven't asked if its even an option for me. I need to exercise for my health, but that won't address my skin issues.
I would love to connect with others who are on this journey and look forward to being more active on OH in 2016.
