MargoMarie

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I went home to where I grew up this past Labor day weekend.  I grew up in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.

It was interesting seeing people I have not seen in 10* years and their reactions when they saw me.

I weighed myself before I left and was at 182.

The first thing people asked was where did my boobs go LOL
I pretty much replied same place my ass went........... on the back of a milk carton listed as MISSING

but hey what can ya' do right?

Well school started tonight w/ a new semester.  Its speach class and I really enjoyed it so far.  I enjoyed it because I am overcoming a fear of taking it :)
Its always empowering to me when I do something prevoiously I was afraid of.

Well this one is short I am beat and have work and mommyhood at the crack of dawn.

I hope I can get to my goal of 160 before my one year post op rolls around on Oct .11th

aight nite nite!
Margo Marie

WOOHOO Can I get an AMEN? Can I get a WITNESS?
The scale FINALLY moved !!!!
I finally lost another 5lbs so I am now at 185.....25 lbs till goal.
Im hoping it may be lil more than that since I am all bloated from my girly week being here......yea yea yea thats right I said it LMAO
BEWARE of the wrath of Margo for the next 5-7 days hahahaha.
Im trying to behave anyway.
Soooooo I am leaving on Friday night after work to go see my childhood friends in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina where I grew up.
I am super excited to see them and surely can use the break from around here.   
Plus I am swithching up my schedule a bit.   My 2 yr old daughter is an a new daycare with a better location to my house and the elementary school that my 5 yr old son and my daughter who will be 8 very soon.
I am going to be going to school 3 nights a week in accelerated classes because this online stuff is not for me I need to move a lil quicker to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.
I am meeting with the Dean on Thursday during my lunch break from work and will hopefully hear good news.  I requested he do an audit on my classes already taken b/c I think something is messed up in their records.  I should be fairly close to my degree.............closer than there records reflect. and have a pretty decent GPA ............. It was actually a 3.8 but when I was pregnant ( and thats a whole lotta drama with that right there) It went down to a 3.27 before I stopped attending.
ANYWHOOOOO   : )
Today was a pretty good day!    other than the crippling cramps LOL
until next time............This Is Margo Signing Out!!
and YES I am fully aware of how nerdy/goofy/corny I am :)
No need to point it out LOL

Well this is not exaclty a weight inspired post by all mean...........  Its just that sometimes I just wanna scream.  Sometimes life seems so overwhelming to me I dont know whether to scream or cry ? ? ? and usually I end up doing neither.............. YES...........keeping it all inside thats just gotta be healthy.
Well I am super stressed and frustrated with a few things in my life right now.  This is when normally I would pig out on some good old drive thru dining and some supere sweet desserts.   
I need to find a new outlet to rid myself of these things since post surgery I cant  "eat" my emotions away.

I have got to learn to tell friends and family NO.
there is nothing more to it than that i just HAVE to learn to tell them NO.

Yes true I am in a relationship with a man right now but i FEEL ALONE...... not just alone from him, I mean ALONE from everyone.
I dont have many friends, I dont do really anything for me.  I feel like my whole life is comprised of taking care of everyone but me.
Even as I sit here typing now I feel guilty for saying those things.
From the minute I wake up until the minute I go to bed I am meeting everyone elses needs but my own.  
Sleep is another thing of the past I am luck y to get in 4 hours without waking up with stress and worry of things.
Its ridiculous.  I am exhausted beyond belief.

I wish I had more friends around here but I dont.
I wish I had just a few friends to go do stuff with even if its only once in a blue moon.   
I wonder if people that have that special someone realize just how lucky they are to have them?
I wish I had the best friend to come home to at night.  I wish I had the best friend to share my day with , my ups and downs with.
I have friends that complain alot about their spouses- - - and it hurts me.   I think to myeslf dont they know how lucky they are to  have someone to be there for them?  So what if he leaves his underwear on the floor next to the hamper???  Is it so bad???  At least they have someone sharing the day to day routines with them.

I get very overwhelmed sometimes b/c I have so much responsibilty raising 3 kids alone without ANY kind of help.  Going to college and working full time in a field that can be VERY stressfull at times.

I guess I just wish that I was afforded the shoulder to cry on sometimes or the hand to hold sometimes..............  and I dont have it.

I am starting to think once again................  it's going to be me and only me.   I guess I am tired of feeling alone all the time.

Well I feel like I just did a huge mental dump on here.............  sorry if this brings people down.  In the hopes of purging some of what I am going through I am blogging my life.  
Cest La VIe
Margo Marie

Well someone asked if I had any before pics so I emailed my sister to send me one of my most hated pics of me at 327lbs after doing a day of yard work over at my parents house ( yeaaaa) and then watching 5 kids all under the age of 6 that day............oh yea and breaking up a few spontaneous power ranger fights and pirate of the carribean moments between a 4 and 5 year old set of boys ( they are SOOO  much different from girls LOL)

Im going with my angel Ruth to Jacksonville to a support group meeting tomorrow so i am super excited.  We will take some pics together and put them up on here too :)

Later Tater's 
Margo Marie

Well I took Ambien CR for about a week because I NEVER get enough sleep.  You would think that wouldnt be a problem raising 3 kids alone all under the age of 7 and working full time, doing volunteer work and helping my parents who live right down the road from me ............. but I lay in bed and my mind would still be up and running.........." Did I do this?" " Did I do that?" ect. ect.
Well evidently I was doing things while on the Ambien that I was not even aware of which is very very scary.   I have had phone calls with people I care about and been really loopy with some.   I said something really out of my character and caused someone I love alot of pain.......  I dont know how to rectify it because I dont know what I said.   I finally just apoliged by telling him via phone, email and sending him flowers to his job that I truly would NEVER cause him any hurt or pain and that whatever I said It was not from my heart or mind.... he has no intentions of telling me what I said but it still hurts me just the same.  I asked for forgiveness and he said he does and its behind us now so I am leaving it at that.
Another weird thing is well I found out why I gained 5 lbs that week...........evidently I was getting up and eating alot of toast during the night.  I was actually toasting it, buttering it and slathering it with grape jelly and eating it all while not being aware of a darn thing b/c of the  Ambien CR.    In hind sight well NOW I know why my tummy been hurting so badly in the mornings *sigh*
Well I am not on the pills anymore and not going to find a new one I am going to give it my best shot at battling it out with a more natural route.  I weighed myself today and I am now down the 5lb gain and I am at 190 I have 30 pounds to go to reach my surgeons goal for me and I really hope to hit that mark before my one year surgiversary on October 11, 2007.

Well thats it for now before I get busted bloggin at work LOL.

Thanks for checking out me lil' slice of the net :)
Hugs
Margo Marie

Well today marks 8 months since surgery ...I started at 327 and today weigh 195 so I have lost a total of 132 pounds .

I feel great but still catch hell trying to get all the water, protein ect ect in.

I met an amazing man a few weeks ago and I am really smitten.  I just recently told him about me having surgery and he was not freaked out LOL he even said a coworker of his is about to have it as well.
Everything in life is pretty darn good right now I have gone from a size 30/32 to a size 18 from old navy that is actually now too big for me so I may be near a 16 now : )
I use MAJOR strategy with boobs and the bra LOL   with just the right bra and some tucking in LOL they dont look so bad in clothes anyway :) 

Well I still havent made any friends near me in my area of Florida so in the darn event anyone reads this and is near me and has had the surgery, or is going to or wants to and wants to make a new friend to talk to : ) hit me up LOL

I wish I had a weight loss buddy near me............

Well nobody reads these I dont think LOL but it is a great tool for keeping me sane.
Later Tater-
Margo Marie

Well it's almost May and I wish I could go to the OH event in Orlando but I have a major dental appt. on Friday the 4th and I KNOW I am not gonna be feeling good at all afterwards probably for the whole weekend at  least.

I put a bathing suit on today and it was 5 sized smaller than the one I had to wear last year so that was pretty cool but I still dont like the way I look in them LOL I pretty much think I will never like the way I look in one but hell I never have ever anyway so I wont be missing much LOL
I weighed myself today w/ the bathing suit on and I was 207.....basically I have only lost 28 pounds since the last time I posted ( about 2 months ago)  so as you can see my weight loss is really really slow but I try not to think about it and rationalize that as long as I am still losing I am still doing OK.

The hardest part is getting in the protein which I am getting better at but I hardly ever manage getting it all in under one day.

I have noticed that I am getting more male attention from some of the same men that NEVER noticed me before the weight loss but I really could care less about them because although I have lost weight I am still the same person on the inside so the looks and remarks they made before still ring in my ears.

I put a post on an online dating site and realized that HEY I ATTRACT THE SAME WACKOS ONLINE THAT I DO OFFLINE HAHAHAH

So I am sooo over it, I have thrown in the towel on the dating scene and when its meant to happen it will just happen.   

I wish I had more female friends near where I live to go out with from time to time.   Hopefully I will make some more somehow.

My ex was FINALLY caught up with and served with child support papers.............this will be a loooooooooong drawn out experience I can see already so even though we (me and my lawyer) will try to do mediation I am certain we will have to go to court anyway ........although the look on his face will be priceless when he sees me since I havent seen him in years and he LOVED to berate me when we were together by calling me FAT this and FAT that...............pretty much FAT and then any expletive you can think of following it.    Now since my weight was pretty much the only thing that I was ever really insecure about he used it to his advantage to make me feel like less than him.   So- - - - none the less will be interesting I am sure.

Well I am rambling again LOL..............and no one reads my crapola anyway LOL.

So I am off to bed- - - - I got a new workout DVD this weekend will be up early trying it out :P

I need more protein than I am getting in.  I keep having to remind myself to eat lately b/c I have not had much of an appetite.  Though the not having the appetite is not really helping me b/c I am losing really really slow right now.....could be a plateau I guess.
I weighed myself last night and was 235.
Well this one is going to be short I am gonna go get my butt on my elliptical machine LOL maybe that will make something kick in the weight loss.........either that or kick my butt LOL.
 

Well I am for the first time in forever investing in me  : )
and it feels great!  I went to the dentist to start getting my teeth whitened tonight..........so hear I sit with my trays in my mouth : )
We shall see what happens......I dont reallly have bad teeth I just want them whiter I used to drink coffee and way before that 10+ years ago I was a smoker so I dont feel as confident as I would like to about them...YET anyway : )
I bought some new clothes the other day and to my amazement I fit in a size 22 ( I was a 30/32 before surgery )
I dont want to buy to much though because I dont intend on staying a 22.
Well thats about it for now..................there was a hot guy in the elevator that made some small talk to me this morning on my way up to my office after I got off I couldve kicked myself for not talking more LOL
I think my dating skills are as played out as a members only jacket hahaha.....
I dont really wish I had a man right now but it would be nice to have a male friend to go to dinner with, listen to music with or see a movie from time to time.
Anywhooooo...............getting ready for bed now so I will be up at the usual buttcrack of dawn 4am 
*Nite~Nite*

It has been a really, really long time since I posted.........although I am not sure anyone ever reads my stuff anyway LOL.

Well I am doing pretty good for the most part in my opinion but my last check up I was told I had not lost enough.  I am not allowing myself to get upset about it though because even if my pounds are coming off slower than my surgeon would like I am still very glad they are coming off.   I turned 34 last month and bought myself and elliptical machine for my house.  I love the fact that I dont have to find time to do it that requires packing up 3 little ones to go to a gym : )
I do it early in the morning before they are even up and at night when I feel like I wish I had a bag of chips and a soda LOL.
I found a great natural food store at the European Village by my house that sells LOTS of stuff to help get the protein in.   The village is really cool as well there is live music on Friday nights and the kids like the pizza parlor they have   www.europeanvillageresort.com is the link if you want to check it out.
Work is going well for me and they are going to pay for me to further my education which is awesome!
Love life is still nonexistant HAHAHAH but its been that way for well over a year so Oh Well LOL
I finally bought a few new items of clothes because friends in my office said it looked like I was a kid wearing their dads big clothes to work LOL.
It was probably the first time in a LOOOONG time I treated myself to something nice without feeling guilty for spending on me instead of the kids.  I cut off all my hair so it went from down to my hips to barely touching my shoulders which I just discoverd along with collar bones not to long ago : )
I have declared 2007 MY YEAR!!!!
I am dedicating the entire year to self improvement which will inevitably reflect on my kids.
Well thats about all for now folks