mizzarcher9105
Doing it all wrong, eating all wrong.
Oct 07, 2009
Honestly I know why I am hiding under a chair. I am hiding because I am so mad and so embarassed by myself that I am sick about it. I have started about 2 or maybe even 3 weeks ago eating ALL the wrong things. I have so many things going on in my life that some are hard to cope with (my husband is about to be in Iraq for the 2nd time in 3 years) so I just turn to food like I did in the older days before RNY. I know I am doing so wrong and I know that I am destroying myself as I do these things, but at the exact moment I don't think I don't seem to care and I hate that about myself. I have had anything from french fries to a couple slices of mini pizza. Don't freak out this pizza was tiny. So it was about 4oz if not 5. But still that is terrible. I have had a couple of big gulps of Coke and had Rice and bread and it's just gross. I am venting and letting it out because I know I am not the only one that has done this. I need help and I am looking for good advice, not rude and hateful remarks. I can do that to myself as is. I know its all wrong but I have to stop, before something terrible happens and it's to late. As I sit here and type this I am starting to realize how bad it is...maybe I needed to just let it out and make it real for me to get it. Ugh, food is the devil.
