Wow, where to start!  Hmm well I have been "fat" my whole life, 9.6 lbs at birth.  Let's see I have been on every diet in the world, even before I knew what diets were.  My mother took me to my first Weight ***chers meeting when I was 5 years old.  That's when I really knew something was wrong with me.  Through the years learned how to "closet eat" to hide the shame of over eating.  I was reminded on a constant bases from my Grandmother, mother, aunts that I was "big"  and such a cute girl if I could just lose the weight.  I look back at my high school pictures when I weighed 220 and would give anything to go back to that size, but I was so shamed and embarrassed that I hide or acted out in anger.    Met my EX husband when I was 15, he was 23 and fell in love.  Hmmm or thankful that someone would show interest in me.  You know when your told your whole life what you are not and what you are, you tend to be thankful for the scraps someone throws you.  Well, that is how it ended up 2 children and 14 years later and he never told me he loved me.  Well, that's when I learned how to starve myself.  At 27 years old I weight 423 lbs and in a year I lost 143 lbs.  Left his drug using abusive a** and never looked back.  Met a wonderful loving man that is now my hubby and soul mate.  We started our life together in 2001 with my two daughters and his one daughter.  We fostered for 3 year and acquired a son through that.  We have permanent custody.  Since our meeting I was stalked by my EX for 3 years, my father died of pancreatic cancer and my grandmother died.  My mother and I switched places (me mom and her daughter).  She lives in Idaho and I in Washington, but I still had to emotionally take care of her.  So in those 11 years I have ballooned up to 497 lbs.  I also realized I couldn't let go of my childhood.  I was molested, verbally abused by my family because of my size and made felt like I could never be loved because I was heavy.  I started resenting my mother very much because I felt like she should have protected me not made me feel less than.  I tried for years to get weight loss surgery, but my insurance has a written exclusion.  In 2007 I took out loans and stuff to get lap band.  Yes I failed miserably at it.  I wish I would have known that it is not as affective on people of my size.   I didn't have the $300.00 a pop for the fills, so I just hide in shame.  I pretty much gave up on ever being healthy and happy.  Two years ago I started seeing a therapist and dealing with some issues.  I have fibro and my rheumatologist told me I HAD to lose the weight because it is killing me.  My friend recently had bypass surgery and told me that there is a doctor in Mexico that she was told about.  I started looking into it and here I am 2 weeks from having my dreams come true.  My husband is so supportive and loving.  I am so blessed!!!  God is good!!!!

About Me
Hoquiam, WA
Location
59.8
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/30/2012
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Dec 20, 2011
Member Since

Friends 9

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