nfarris79
Day 15 - allegedly
Apr 11, 2011
So allegedly I'm having surgery tomorrow at 8:30am. I will reserve my excitement, having learned from yesterday that nothing is a given until I'm being wheeled into the OR. I feel like I'd been run over by an emotional truck and am just numb now. Except for my butt, which is aflame again. And again, I will be recreating any gross toilet skit seen on Tosh.O, all day long. At this point, my bowels should be bronzed and framed because they're so immaculately clean....
12:30p. I'm terrified. I'm so scared they're going to call and reschedule again. I'm praying to God that I can get thru tonight without any bad news. I posted for prayers and positive thoughts, as I did when I was worried about insurance approval and I do believe OH pulled a miracle on that one.... I hope I haven't run out of favors with God. Please, please, please just get me through until tomorrow morning! I don't care if I have to wait all day in a hospital bed, just get me through without any more bad news today.
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12:30p. I'm terrified. I'm so scared they're going to call and reschedule again. I'm praying to God that I can get thru tonight without any bad news. I posted for prayers and positive thoughts, as I did when I was worried about insurance approval and I do believe OH pulled a miracle on that one.... I hope I haven't run out of favors with God. Please, please, please just get me through until tomorrow morning! I don't care if I have to wait all day in a hospital bed, just get me through without any more bad news today.
Day 14 - WTF?!?!
Apr 11, 2011
I take back anything I've ever said nice about my surgeon and the hospital. They f-ing moved my surgery to Wednesday. Due to a "scheduling error". What the hell??? It's not like this is my follow up or a routine appointment. This is my damn surgery that I've been waiting for 6 months to get to! So pissed.....
2p - ok, now that I cried for a half hour and had a protein drink (finally after 2 days), I'm a bit calmer now. Still not happy, but not on a bridge ready to jump. Just gotta pick myself up, change the alarm clock, and re-do the bowel prep. Ugh. Friggen ridiculous.
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2p - ok, now that I cried for a half hour and had a protein drink (finally after 2 days), I'm a bit calmer now. Still not happy, but not on a bridge ready to jump. Just gotta pick myself up, change the alarm clock, and re-do the bowel prep. Ugh. Friggen ridiculous.
Day 13 - the end is near
Apr 10, 2011
I can't believe I only need to get thru tomorrow and surgery day is fast approaching. I feel really grateful to the OH community for listening to me rant, answering my questions & just being good peeps!
I also can't believe I made it thru today. On clear liquids since I did bowel prep last night. Made it thru 6 clients on crystal light only.... then came home and had 2 bowls of chicken broth, 2 s/f pops, and a TON more crystal light. I'm floating at this point... But down to 229, so that means I'll likely be at my wedding weight on surgery day. Crazy....
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I also can't believe I made it thru today. On clear liquids since I did bowel prep last night. Made it thru 6 clients on crystal light only.... then came home and had 2 bowls of chicken broth, 2 s/f pops, and a TON more crystal light. I'm floating at this point... But down to 229, so that means I'll likely be at my wedding weight on surgery day. Crazy....
Day 12 - anticipation & TMI
Apr 08, 2011
I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 230. SO that's a loss of 15 lbs during the liquid diet and a total loss in this journey of 37 lbs from highest weight! At this rate, I might be my wedding weight on the day of surgery. 2 years ago I was 228 lbs.
Today is the last day I can have full liquids, so I'll be cutting out protein shakes before I do the bowel prep. After that is clear liquids only. Fun! Just when I thought I couldn't have any less energy.... Sunday & Monday aughta be interesting.
5p - So bowel prep sucks. I can't mince words here. I had a colonoscopy 2 years ago and I apparently forgot how bad it makes you go. Anyone ever see the Dave Chappelle skit where he has gas so bad that it propels him off the toilet? Nearly the same experience.
After 12 days on a liquid diet, just what the hell could I possibly be expelling? Ok, gotta go drink some more water to counteract dehydration.... ugh!!!
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Today is the last day I can have full liquids, so I'll be cutting out protein shakes before I do the bowel prep. After that is clear liquids only. Fun! Just when I thought I couldn't have any less energy.... Sunday & Monday aughta be interesting.
5p - So bowel prep sucks. I can't mince words here. I had a colonoscopy 2 years ago and I apparently forgot how bad it makes you go. Anyone ever see the Dave Chappelle skit where he has gas so bad that it propels him off the toilet? Nearly the same experience.
After 12 days on a liquid diet, just what the hell could I possibly be expelling? Ok, gotta go drink some more water to counteract dehydration.... ugh!!!
Day 11 - outamymind
Apr 07, 2011
Not hungry today- though it's only 6:30a. The return of early waking insomnia. Ugh! Maybe I can just consider it training for my 7:45a surgery on Tuesday (and being at the hospital at 5:45a, and leaving home at 4a, and waking up at 3a.....) I"m just too excited! Got plenty to do this weekend so hopefully it won't feel like time is just dragging on. I have 3 clients today, 3 tomorrow, 5 on Sunday and 4 on Monday. I nearly started laughing out loud at support group last night when the social worker was talking about taking care of oneself and saying no. Yeah, practice what we preach - NOT! Having sessions up until literaly the night before is not a good idea, I know, but I rationalize with the fact that I'm in prvate practice and need income more than I need rest. I'm even trying to squeeze in the bowel prep on Saturday afternoon instead of Sunday b/c I just don't have time on Sunday. This will be all over soon.... I gotta keep telling myself that.
9p - and then the day got worse. I forgot about a client I had scheduled. I got a bit dehydrated. Worried that my eldest cat's cancer is not in remission but may have spread to the pancreas. And I'm starting the bowel prep tomorrow night. I gotta just go to bed and get this day over with.
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9p - and then the day got worse. I forgot about a client I had scheduled. I got a bit dehydrated. Worried that my eldest cat's cancer is not in remission but may have spread to the pancreas. And I'm starting the bowel prep tomorrow night. I gotta just go to bed and get this day over with.
Day 10 - excited!
Apr 07, 2011
I'm feeling pretty good today, tiny headache but not feeling too hungry at all. Made a chocolate shake with creme de menthe flavoring (the kind in tiny bottles used for baking/cakemaking/chocolate making) so the flavoring is VERY concentrated and apparently I put a drop too many so it's more mint than chocolate flavor! But that's good for the tummy anyways.
I contacted my surgeon's nurse about the aleged missing biopsy results. She said they WERE in the chart, the dr just must have missed seeing them. Whew!! I was extremely worried about that and really puzzled as to why these friggen results were so hard to get ahold of! I also had a worry that I'd be positive for h.pylori and somehow that would keep me from having surgery on Tuesday. But, no worries! Negative for carcinoma & h.pylori! The ulcers really WERE caused by NSAIDs and that puts me at higher risk for ulcers in the future, so no asprin/motrin/aleve/etc for the rest of my life. Also talked about my poo - I told her I'd been having loose BMs since the start of the liquid diet and wasn't sure what else could possibly come out with the bowel prep. Surgeon seemed concerned but I really wasn't b/c it's just something I'd been dealing with being lactose intolerant and not very painful. Also had been scoped for any IBDs and negative (in both ends). Surgeon said that it'll probably get worse post-op. Oh,well. That's the lot I've been given so I'd rather just deal with poopies than obesity....
I'm al set for surgery. Got the milk of mag, rx for pains, hibiclens to sanitize the skin, bag packed, incentive spirometer all set up....... Tuesday can't come here fast enough!!!
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I contacted my surgeon's nurse about the aleged missing biopsy results. She said they WERE in the chart, the dr just must have missed seeing them. Whew!! I was extremely worried about that and really puzzled as to why these friggen results were so hard to get ahold of! I also had a worry that I'd be positive for h.pylori and somehow that would keep me from having surgery on Tuesday. But, no worries! Negative for carcinoma & h.pylori! The ulcers really WERE caused by NSAIDs and that puts me at higher risk for ulcers in the future, so no asprin/motrin/aleve/etc for the rest of my life. Also talked about my poo - I told her I'd been having loose BMs since the start of the liquid diet and wasn't sure what else could possibly come out with the bowel prep. Surgeon seemed concerned but I really wasn't b/c it's just something I'd been dealing with being lactose intolerant and not very painful. Also had been scoped for any IBDs and negative (in both ends). Surgeon said that it'll probably get worse post-op. Oh,well. That's the lot I've been given so I'd rather just deal with poopies than obesity....
I'm al set for surgery. Got the milk of mag, rx for pains, hibiclens to sanitize the skin, bag packed, incentive spirometer all set up....... Tuesday can't come here fast enough!!!
Day 9 - hopeful?
Apr 06, 2011
So spent the entire day doing appointments. I didn't get as much protein or liquids today as I have in the past several days but don't feel too bad at all. I had my PASS appointment and am cleared for anesthesia. Had my pre-op with my surgeon and will have my surgery at 7:45am on the 12th. I have to show up to the hospital at 5:45a so that means we have to leave home by 4am. Ugh! Way early! But I will likely be discharged the next afternoon, all things going well, and will have my drains taken out before I'm d/c. Woo hoo!
The bad of today is my GI dr STILL hadn't sent the biopsy results of my ulcer. WTF????? What is the holdup??? They've requested it so many times and I"m not entirely convinced that it's not the office losing the record instead of the GI not sending it. It didn't seem like that would be a barrier to not doing the surgery but I only have a few days to get this taken care of. SO I will be calling the GI office bright and early tomorrow am and will try not to b--- them out.
My cat's appointment didn't go well this morning. She had an abdominal ultrasound to make sure the adenocarcinoma is gone from her intestines, and those looked fine, but the radiologist said there was some irregularities on her pancreas, possibly indicating pancreatitis. They did more bloodwork to make sure and we'll hear the results either tomorrow or Monday. BUT when we've been treating her for the past 4 months for 2 types of cancer and all other things seemed to indicate remission, this info isn't so great.
Trying to keep positive and focus on the fact that all things seem to be "go ahead" with my surgery. I've survived all days of this liquid diet, my liver does seem doable according to my surgeon, and they're proud of how well I've done on the pre-op hurdles & diets. So..... why am I not jumping for joy? I"m calm, mildly excited about knowing how close this is, but feel like I should be happier and not so neutral. Hey, at least I'm not anxious or freaking out....
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The bad of today is my GI dr STILL hadn't sent the biopsy results of my ulcer. WTF????? What is the holdup??? They've requested it so many times and I"m not entirely convinced that it's not the office losing the record instead of the GI not sending it. It didn't seem like that would be a barrier to not doing the surgery but I only have a few days to get this taken care of. SO I will be calling the GI office bright and early tomorrow am and will try not to b--- them out.
My cat's appointment didn't go well this morning. She had an abdominal ultrasound to make sure the adenocarcinoma is gone from her intestines, and those looked fine, but the radiologist said there was some irregularities on her pancreas, possibly indicating pancreatitis. They did more bloodwork to make sure and we'll hear the results either tomorrow or Monday. BUT when we've been treating her for the past 4 months for 2 types of cancer and all other things seemed to indicate remission, this info isn't so great.
Trying to keep positive and focus on the fact that all things seem to be "go ahead" with my surgery. I've survived all days of this liquid diet, my liver does seem doable according to my surgeon, and they're proud of how well I've done on the pre-op hurdles & diets. So..... why am I not jumping for joy? I"m calm, mildly excited about knowing how close this is, but feel like I should be happier and not so neutral. Hey, at least I'm not anxious or freaking out....
Day 8 - exhausted
Apr 04, 2011
Maybe it's psychosomatic but being without vitamins is leaving me feelng wiped out. I've improved my calorie daily goals as 400 was just not cutting it! So I'm probably getting closer to 700. Still really bored with broth, protein drinks, crystal light, s/f jello, and s/f ice pops. It does get easier as far as the food cravings go but relieved that I'm at the halfway point and surgery is next week. FINALLY in the home stretch! I have pre-op tomorrow so will be a busy day.
I'm slightly worried about the bowel prep. I'll talk to my surgeon tomorrow about it, but concerned of the timing. I'm supposed to start it 2 days before surgery, taking 3 doses of Milk of Magnesia. I'm thinking since I have more clients on Sunday afternoon than on Saturday, I might start the bowel prep after I come home Saturday afternoon and that way I won't be having "problems" on Sunday. I have nothing against squeeky clean intestines but also need to make it thru 45min at a time without having the urgent squirts..... ah, the fun of private practice! Can't take off a milisecond more than necessary because the bill-man cometh......
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I'm slightly worried about the bowel prep. I'll talk to my surgeon tomorrow about it, but concerned of the timing. I'm supposed to start it 2 days before surgery, taking 3 doses of Milk of Magnesia. I'm thinking since I have more clients on Sunday afternoon than on Saturday, I might start the bowel prep after I come home Saturday afternoon and that way I won't be having "problems" on Sunday. I have nothing against squeeky clean intestines but also need to make it thru 45min at a time without having the urgent squirts..... ah, the fun of private practice! Can't take off a milisecond more than necessary because the bill-man cometh......
Day 7 - growlies & poo
Apr 04, 2011
So probably shouldn't take this but I've been taking Imodium for 2 days because this diarrhea won't quit! Between the sugar alcohols and forgetting to take lactaid tabs with each protein shake..... It won't quit. And I look at the 2 week liquid diet info sheet with snark because it says "may have BMs every 2-4 days". Really? more like every 2-4 hours! I just hate being lactose intolerant.
I sit across from my clients in session and have to apologize for the sound my guts are making. I have to excuse myself in the middle of a 45min session to go pee. This liquid diet suuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!!!
On the upside, my mom left and I actually had enough energy to make the guest bed after the sheets were washed. Surprised me as today is the first day with no multivitamins - none until post op!
No recommendations on protein. Just bored mindless about everything I ingest.
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I sit across from my clients in session and have to apologize for the sound my guts are making. I have to excuse myself in the middle of a 45min session to go pee. This liquid diet suuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!!!
On the upside, my mom left and I actually had enough energy to make the guest bed after the sheets were washed. Surprised me as today is the first day with no multivitamins - none until post op!
No recommendations on protein. Just bored mindless about everything I ingest.
Day 6 - bored & impatient
Apr 03, 2011
The emotions du jour are boredom & impatience. I'm feeling impatient for the surgery, to be off this friggen liquid diet already, just about life in general. Seriously bored with what I'm putting in my mouth. Today I tried to focus on getting more calories in and go over the protein range a bit, just to see if it makes me feel better. Well, I don't feel like passing out, like I had in the past few days. But also just feel bored every time I'm drinking water/protein/broth. May have to eat a s/f ice pop. S/F jello has been a big "blah....". I may have to get my butt out of the house early before work and just do some shopping or activity to break out of this funk. 
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About Me
Germantown, MD
Location
24.3
BMI
Surgery
04/13/2011
Surgery Date
Jan 07, 2011
Member Since
