I never thought it would be me

Apr 08, 2010

When I started this whole process in May 08, I weighed well over 289, that was my DOS weight.  I never would get on the scale because no matter how good I told myself I was doing, I was eating like shit, and was sitting in my arse too much despite working out.  I had no self esteem, I thought I deserved to be living a life I was just satisfied with.  Aug 08 my mom and I flew to Puerto Vallarta, Mx for what would be my new birthday and the beginning of the path to my new me.  I know everyone around me was nervous for me to do this.  I even had some nay sayers...and even months after surgery when things slowed way down some said are you done?  I just kept plugging away.  I knew I picked the LapBand because it was a slow weight loss and I would be able to control it (I have a little bit of a Type A in me).  If I want to lose more, I buckle down, get a fill if needed and eat for my band which is for survival not pleasure.  I am now SO close I can taste it and see it!
I am now 2lbs from my "160ish" goal.  Will that be where I will stop?  I don't know.  I have never been this small as an adult.  What I can tell is this, I really enjoy working out now.  It is a challenge but it is one I welcome.  I see the results.  I know that EVERYONE is proud of me, and those that are jealous even comment and want to "know my secret" well, anyone who has watched me through this knows I have struggled and that once I put my mind to it, I have lost and lost not only pounds but inches as well.  I have gained more self confidence than I ever thought possible.  Now my "just satisfied" life isn't enough.  I have taken life by the horns and am creating an adventure.  Am I always making the right choices?  Probably not, but am I happy?  You bet my small ass I am.  And in the end I am the only one who is in control of my happiness. 
So, for those of you out there struggling to work your band...stick with it.  Those of you who have fallen off the wagon, get back on....work it, and it will work. And those of us who are here in the "almost goal spot" hang on.....it's  SWEET ride!

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