Reality.....

Nov 17, 2011

In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. In a wider definition, reality includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still more broad definition includes everything that has existed, exists, or will exist.

Sometimes in our hopes or dreams, our reality can become so blurred and even forgotten. In the last week I have been contemplating many, many things. With the impending appointment with my surgeon fast approaching, and my desire to "get this done", I am hit with the reality of it all.

For many years of neglecting my health, ignoring the "signs", I got myself to where I was... no doubt about it.  Along this journey I have learned so much and I must stop and realize things cannot be rushed because of "want". Yes, for sure I do NEED my hernia fixed, that is a given. But in all reality, when I really think of my situation, I now know in all honesty that come in 3 weeks I will not be having my hernia repair. I will be having the VSG; a wonderful tool that I know will help me immensely along my journey to get me to my goal and keep me there.

With the extreme of my hernia repair, I know it will be  major surgery; one that cannot be rushed into and I would be a fool to assume or push for it to be. I know tests and scans need to be done, plastic surgeons to confer, as well as my surgeon needs to be well prepped going in to know the best course of action not to mention my weight to be down  to the point there will be absolute no doubt of breaking out the repair. Having total faith in my surgeon and he doing what's best for me, I truly feel without even hearing it from him, that his plan on wed will be VSG in Dec and hernia repair by the end of Jan/Feb which I will totally agree with.

Living with this hernia, I want to do what is best and safe for me... not rush it.... and do this proper. I know I will feel more secure in a repair at a lower weight  than what I am now. Having a repair and living with the fear of my size pushing it out is something I don't need and would rather have confidence going in for full recovery without any complications. This is my reality today, and I am happy with it.

Another reality check was in the last week showing some of my family and friends my hernia. A big step for me. I guess in showing it, made it more real, "a coming out of the closet" so to speak. Having been super morbidly obese, having my guts hang fully outside my abdominal wall is a sight... but it is my reality and something I live with daily. ( Click HERE to see a picture of my present reality; be forewarned, it is not pretty and may be offensive to some) A reminder how I once neglected my health and allowed it to happen over a fear of doctors and lack of esteem that "I didn't matter".

Never has it become more evident to me in the past 2 years that one's health is so important, and we must do whatever it takes to gain every ounce we can. If I can in my life inspire others to get healthy I will. I feel all that I have gone through and am going through is for a purpose. There is always a reason for the things that happen in our lives. If we open our hearts to learn, we become richer for it... n hey...I am the richest woman alive and will gladly share.... "HEALTH IS WEALTH"!!!

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