Oceanfloor
I've battled weight all my life, when I look at my teenage photos back then I was considered fat but today this is only a size 14/16 and even still there are many that judge a woman this size. After my first marriage fell apart I had weighed close to 300lbs at 18 yrs,then I lost over a hundred and got really small from the heartache which then turned to joy over time. After I married again I gained weight but it wasn’t until I got pregnant did I gain again to almost 300lbs and I stay this weight for years, then when I was 36 I was in a rehab program that lasted a year and I lost 120lbs,after I graduated there I got pregnant and gained all the weight back going up to 350lbs.This time I needed blood pressure medicines and meds for GERD, I had high cholesterol but couldn’t take them side effects were bad. I then became a single mother.
In November 2009 I began Atkins and lost 70lbs and on my way to a new life and independence taking care of both my children. The summer of 2010 I began hemmorghing and in pain, this happened 3 times and because I stopped having a period after I had my last child in 2004 and tubal ligation I thought my body was out of whack and this was my period returning I was 44, until weeks later after an ultrasound and biopsy I was told I had Endometrial cancer. This really was a traumatic time in my life nothing compared to what my past was like; I developed clinical depression an illness that is still with me today. Since my surgery I have so much wrong with me, I expected the menopause thing was a major part of it, but yet I had already been in menopause a few years before the hysterectomy, which was a total abdominal hysterectomy,I had multiple fibroids, both ovaries had cysts, and enlarged uterus, distended bladder, enlarged spleen. And on the CAT scan all this showed up plus Osteoporosis in my spine, which now has developed in my knees and hips. Most days I can’t stand, I can’t walk the isles in the store for long; I have incredible pain in my hips, spine and back aches. Some days I can’t even shower, wipe myself and get dressed. If something needs picking up of the floor this is a chore, usually I ask my daughter to bend to get it, cause I cant.
Last weigh in I was 343lbs but I feel I have gained more; I am on blood pressure meds, antidepressants, over the counter pain pills with codeine. I was prescribed Arcoxia and this was a miracle drug for me but it was only to be taken when needed, I could go days without taking them, this pill raised my blood pressure. The doctor wouldn’t rx me no more Arcoxia because of the side effects and is always telling me to lose weight even going so far as to have me see a nutrionist. In the meantime between seeing the nutrionist,I found I had malignant Melanoma and its been over 6 months and unable to get this scan done. So I was told by my MD to look into gastric or Lap band because my metabolism and change of diet wasn’t working. I would take the risks to have this procedure done in a minute, but I’ve no money, I am an unemployed single mother, whose dependent on my son and my mother for help, as I haven’t been able to go back to work since this hysterectomy in 2010. I am sitting up typing and my feet are swelling, back hurts and joints. I have other problems as well that comes with menopause but the main problem is my weight, the bedridden state I live in and not enjoying life anymore. Even the thought that the Melanoma may have spread has thinking I am at death's door- When I go out,I break out in sweat, and feel faint. Taking a shower, cleaning my room leaves me breathless and in pain, when I stool this leaves bad cramps in my abdomen and I have to lie down till the pain goes away, sometimes I develop thrush in my throat and tongue, heart palpitations, and my muscles are always aching. Always in a constant state of fatigue, I was dx with Fibromyalgia over 20 years ago and every time I lost weight it would go in remission, now after 2 c sections & hysterectomy I have full blown flares along with depression and wanting to die living in pain like this 24 hours a day.
I just don’t have funds to get the blood work done. I asked for help for the scan and the tech kept rescheduling the scan so I had to return back to my town. I made changes to my diet and still when I have the money I would buy good foods and not junk. Where I can’t walk for exercise, the only walking I get is when I’m shopping in the food store.46 years old, I am in a physical mess and need help desperately and have nowhere to turn for help. So I find this site and forum hoping to read up on this procedure & hoping by a miracle I can find help.
